Becoming a Mother is something I always wanted to do. Parenting can at the best of times be a challenge. We all have a different set of circumstances and all have different challenges in life and each age and stage of our child’s development is pretty unique.
Parenting A Tween
Over the past year, things have begun to change as my daughter has moved from being a little girl to a tween. It’s not been an easy process, trust me! In fact, I find the emotional side quite tricky in comparison to parenting a toddler.
I think it’s because I was an Early years teacher before Sylvia was born and that helped me to know how to deal with the younger age group before I even became a mother.
Parenting and looking after tweens, on the other hand, is something I never experienced before and it’s a whole other ball game.
Tween Emotions And Parenting
There is so much going on when your child hits the tween years. Take for example school life. Year six is a difficult year, where kids are navigating friendships, starting puberty, preparing for SATS exams and trying to keep everything in check.
I’ve found year six to be a difficult year for my daughter. There is an awful lot of pressure and the girls can be super sensitive, fall out over little things and get upset pretty easily.
Add Bullying to the mix and it can make a recipe for disaster. Sadly we have had a little bullying which was dealt with by the school but it’s not made life easy and the stress and has translated at times into the home
Listening To Your Tween
I am blessed to have a strong bond and relationship with my daughter. We love to spend time together, although she is getting more independent and at times likes to have her own space and time away from everyone else.
That’s totally fine but I do enjoy the moments we have together. It’s great that my child can share with me how she feels. She can express her concerns and worries and I can offer advice, friendship and motherly support.
It can be difficult, however, and my daughter can be moody and emotional. I think all tweens are that way. I find the sudden switch from happy to sad or the grumpy or cheeky attitude difficult at times.
Kids can hurt your feelings. Sometimes they say things which hurt which they don’t mean. Tween are at an age where they are ever-changing and they simply say things without thinking and they can not yet process emotions in the same way an adult can.
The best thing I can do is simply be there for Sylvia, put boundaries and rules in place to keep her safe and secure and do my best to facilitate and help her to grow emotionally strong.
One way I’m doing this is by using essential oils. Oils are great as they aromas and smells can go to the limbic part of the brain which provokes feelings and memories. We have little roller bottles of oil which are good for different emotions and feelings.
For example, I have a happy bottle with citrus oils and a restful blend which helps you relax when stressed.
The great thing is, I can get Sylvia to think about how she is feeling and then as she becomes emotionally intelligent and learns to recognise how she is feeling, she can use her oils as a way to process and deal with her feelings.
This is great as it’s better than feeling confused and acting out.
Of course, lie is never simple and easy and we have plenty of moments which drive me crazy and moments where I am tested to the limit but I will keep doing my best as a loving mother and do my best to help my child grow emotionally strong.
I did love the baby years and I loved the toddler years too.
My daughter has grown so fast and whilst I am finding the tween years a little challenging, I will embrace it and cherish to moments I get with my child as she will be an adult in another 7 years.
Time goes so fast. I will enjoy every moment as much as I can.
About Angela Milnes
Angela Milnes is a Qualified Early Years Teacher who has specialised in Preschool and Kindergarten teaching. She has a wealth of experience teaching young children and is passionate about kids crafts and having fun as a family. Angela has also taught cooking skills and loves to share both family recipes and easy instant pot recipes here on The Inspiration Edit. Follow her on Pinterest!
Kim Carberry says
You are right year 6 is one of the hardest school years emotionally. My girl struggled but she got through it and now in year 7 is thriving! Sylvia will too. x
It is a tough year!
My son is going on 11 and the tween years are proving to be the worst! I am not looking forward to full blown teenage years girl! Not at all.
It’s a total new experience! Like a roller coaster ride!
My kids are still small but I often think about how the life and emotions will change when they
will grow! Thank you for sharing your tips!
Oh It’s not something I thought about much as Sylvia was younger but it’s certainly a roller coaster and not what i was expecting. But I do love being a mum!
Jennifer Maune says
Awe! The tween years are such a bittersweet time. It’s fun watching them grow older and become more independent, but not wanting them to get any older and to always need their mama! I’m sure the emotions are running high – on both ends!
You make it sound so easy, such an inspiration! I have always been nervous about mothering a tween, but good to know it is actually feasible 🙂
It is hard work but I love being a mum.
Great insight- my girls are still toddlers but I often worry about the teen years!