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May 18, 2019 · 90 Comments

A Letter To My Daughter

Self Care And Relationships

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A Letter To My Daughter

Dear Sylvia, I cannot believe how fast your growing. It seems like only a moment ago that I held you in my arms for the first time. Life has never been easy for us. Becoming a Mother has been a challenge. You are my miracle child.  When I was only 16 I was told by doctors I would never have a child but 10 years later my desire to become a mother lead me to get fertility treatment. I wanted you more than words can describe.

Contents

  • Pregnancy Problems – Cholostasis And Gestational Diabetes
  • No Breast Milk
  • Leaving An Emotionally Abusive Relationship
  • Our Fight Against Social Services
    • Pituitary Gland Damage And Adrenal Insufficiency

Pregnancy Problems – Cholostasis And Gestational Diabetes

The pregnancy was not easy. I was very unwell. At 20 weeks pregnant someone crashed into the family car. I was taken to the hospital and was bleeding. I was told there was a chance I may have lost the baby, you my miracle child. I remember going down for a scan fearing the worst and the relief I felt to know you were still there.

The pregnancy became difficult. I developed gestational diabetes and then Cholostasis in pregnancy which meant I had liver problems during pregnancy. My skin was itchy and yellow and  I was warned there was a chance of stillbirth. I spent many weeks in the hospital before the doctors decided to induce early labour.

The labour took three days. You finally arrived. You had sugar issues and jaundice but we got through. The labour process, however, gave me permanent brain damage. My pituitary gland was damaged. It’s called Sheehan’s disease. This started a process of failing endocrine function for my adrenals and other important hormones.

No Breast Milk

I held on and did my best as your Mother. I tried to breastfeed but the damage to my pituitary meant no breast milk production and it broke my heart to be unable to feed you. Having a bottle was not that bad. You loved your feeds and slept soundly through the night. You were a fantastic baby.

It wasn’t easy though. I didn’t realise there was no breast milk for some time and I tried and tried over to feed you. In the end, things worked out but it was really difficult at the start and we really did struggle. 

Leaving An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

At six months of age, I decided to leave your father. There was abuse in the home and I had to protect you. I had to keep us both safe physically and emotionally and so I did what any loving mother could. I left the man I loved and started life just me and you. We moved from Hamilton New Zealand to Auckland City. I did my best to keep us safe. I fought in the courts for you, got custody and a protection order. You became my sole responsibility and we moved home to England.

Our Fight Against Social Services

We settled in West Yorkshire and life was great until Family Services came knocking at the door. At 4 years old our little family has torn apart. I was wrongly accused of spending time in a psychiatric hospital overseas. I was accused of many terrible things which were false and untrue and you were placed in Foster care for 9 months.

I found myself in the Leeds Court fighting against social services for you once more. I had to prove the errors and lies and as heartbreaking as it was I fought hard and we won. Family Services realised their social worker had lied and created untrue stories. You were returned home and we worked hard to rebuild what had been torn apart. There was a government investigation and we received an apology and compensation.

Pituitary Gland Damage And Adrenal Insufficiency

In 2013 Mummy got married. You were blessed with an amazing stepfather and we moved to Lancashire as a family. By this time my adrenal glands had failed completely and I ended up very unwell. It took three years of tests, procedures and 22 adrenal crisis to get the medication I needed to manage the damage to my pituitary. Pituitary damage leads to adrenal Insufficiency and Growth hormone deficiency.

I now have a 24-hour adrenal pump and daily human growth hormone injections. I get replacement therapy for the endocrine hormones my body does not produce. I fought for my treatment and have to pay every month. It’a real cost for the family. The NHS won’t fund my adrenal pump supplies, they won’t accept my health has improved. Well, the doctors will but not the people in charge of the money strings.

I still suffer from chronic fatigue and still have issues with Iron, B12, Zinc and other vitamin levels. However, my adrenal health is stable and I no longer go into hospital for weeks at a time. I am able to be home with you and although I am not and can’t be the mum I wanted to be or dream of being, I do my best.

I love you and the fight goes on. I will continue to battle through the health system to stay well and do my best to give you the life you deserve. I am a good Mother. I always have been. I have always loved you and I always will.

You are my world and everything I do in this life is for you. I look forward to seeing you grow and hope this coming year is a wonderful time for you.

Love Mummy.

I hope you enjoyed this heartfelt letter to my daughter. You may also enjoy a Poem I wrote for Sylvia called The Beauty From Within! 

letter to child from mother

About Angela Milnes

Angela Milnes is a Qualified Early Years Teacher who has specialised in Preschool and Kindergarten teaching. She has a wealth of experience teaching young children and is passionate about kids crafts and having fun as a family. Angela has also taught cooking skills and loves to share both family recipes and easy instant pot recipes here on The Inspiration Edit. Follow her on Pinterest!

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Comments

  1. Cassie says

    May 22, 2017 at 3:45 am

    That’s a beautiful letter to your daughter who you obviously fought very hard to have and also to protect and keep. I’m sorry you both have been through such a rollercoaster and I wish you better health and smooth sailing from here xx

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 22, 2017 at 5:16 am

      Thankyou. It has been a roller coaster but in the end we still have each other and i’m so blessed.

      Reply
  2. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says

    May 22, 2017 at 10:45 am

    Aww, this was beautiful to read. Sounds like you both have been through a lot and it is great that you are there for each other.

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 22, 2017 at 2:59 pm

      thanks. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  3. Stressed Mum says

    May 22, 2017 at 10:50 am

    What a beatiful letter to your Daughter, and shows that no matter what life has thrown at you, you have fought and won and have such an amazing bond. I really hope you both now have a smoother journey. There really is no bond like and mother and her child x

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 22, 2017 at 2:58 pm

      Thanks. It’s true. You can go through a lot in life and it either makes you stronger or breaks you. These experiences have made my bond with my daughter very strong.

      Reply
  4. Elodie says

    May 22, 2017 at 11:08 am

    Such a beautiful letter! I can’t believe everything you two went through but I hope it only gets better from here!

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 22, 2017 at 2:57 pm

      It sure will! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  5. Jessica Joachim says

    May 22, 2017 at 1:34 pm

    This is beautiful. It will be nice to look back on this and for her to read when she is an adult herself. I know they grow up so fast and it is a crazy ride we take as parents.

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 22, 2017 at 2:56 pm

      Thanks. She can read it when she is older!

      Reply
  6. Sona Jain says

    May 22, 2017 at 2:58 pm

    Love the tiara and the pictures are great! Great to hear that your health has improved. Hoping that both of you continue to smile like this together.

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 22, 2017 at 3:03 pm

      Thanks

      Reply
  7. GlamKaren says

    May 22, 2017 at 4:04 pm

    Aw…what a super sweet letter to your daughter! You clearly have been through some medical challenges in regards to bringing her into the world, but keep showing strength and positive ways to get through any of it! Hugs to you!

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 22, 2017 at 5:39 pm

      thanks so much. It has been tough but worth it for Sylvia.

      Reply
  8. serenityyou says

    May 22, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    Sounds like you have been through such a struggle. But you have an amazing daughter and you are an amazing mum.

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 22, 2017 at 5:41 pm

      it has been tough but we are doing great now – besides the health challenges.

      Reply
  9. Janel Berchielli (@JanelB) says

    May 22, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    Such a beautiful letter you have written to your daughter. I am sure she gets older she will appreciate everything you have done for her.

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 22, 2017 at 5:48 pm

      thanks Janel.

      Reply
  10. garethtorrance says

    May 22, 2017 at 5:15 pm

    I’ve been thinking of doing something like this! Heartfelt posts are always the best!

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 22, 2017 at 5:47 pm

      It is a great thing to do. I want to write to Sylvia each year so why not do it on the blog.

      Reply
  11. Ana De-Jesus says

    May 22, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    It breaks my heart how much you have been through and saddens me that the government are not doing another to offer you more to improve your health. Keep battling though, look how far you have come. Sylvia must be so proud to call you her mum x

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 22, 2017 at 6:46 pm

      Thanks Ana. It is tough and I hope I can keep fighting for the treatment I need under the NHS. It is tough when there are so many sick people out there.

      Reply
  12. Emma says

    May 22, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    This is beautifully written, I have just had my second son so I can draw so much from this. There is really is no love like it and it can be so overwhelming. I wish you all the best x

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 22, 2017 at 6:46 pm

      Thanks so much! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  13. karahyvarinen says

    May 22, 2017 at 7:10 pm

    Aren’t children such a blessing? I thought I would never have any but surprise…I was blessed with two boys!

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 22, 2017 at 7:51 pm

      they sure are!

      Reply
  14. Sarah Bailey says

    May 22, 2017 at 7:31 pm

    What an amazing letter to your daughter, you have both been through so much and hopefully there is only light for you ahead.

    Reply
  15. Nayna Kanabar says

    May 22, 2017 at 7:36 pm

    What an emotional but beautiful lettet, written straight from the heart.

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 22, 2017 at 7:50 pm

      thanks Nayna

      Reply
  16. dearmummyblog says

    May 22, 2017 at 8:10 pm

    Awww. That made us emotional. Sylvia is such a bright, bubbly star and sounds like a strong cookie – just like her mum x

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 23, 2017 at 1:45 am

      Thanks. She is a strong cookie ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  17. countryheartdeb says

    May 22, 2017 at 8:45 pm

    aww such a beautiful letter – something lovely to look back on too.

    Reply
  18. Marcie in Mommyland (@marciemommyland) says

    May 22, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    What a powerful story of perseverance! I hope your daughter has your strength and that you both have better health!

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 23, 2017 at 2:06 am

      thanks

      Reply
  19. Mummy Times Two says

    May 22, 2017 at 9:37 pm

    Bless you both, it sounds like you have had an incredibly tough time. I’m so glad you have each other.

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 23, 2017 at 1:46 am

      thanks so much. It has been tough but tough times give you character and strength!

      Reply
  20. MELANIE EDJOURIAN says

    May 22, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    It sounds like you went through a great deal not only to have your child but also to keep her safe and to even keep her later. It’s shocking what people can do.

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 23, 2017 at 1:52 am

      Sometimes we can’t control what others do to us but how we react!

      Reply
  21. MyYellowApron says

    May 22, 2017 at 11:15 pm

    What a heart touching letter. Thanks for letting us have a glimpse into your heart. Loved it.

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 23, 2017 at 2:07 am

      Thanks. Your welcome.

      Reply
  22. Heather says

    May 23, 2017 at 12:59 am

    This is so beautiful! You have been through so much but I know seeing your daughter grow is all you need.

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 23, 2017 at 2:07 am

      thankyou ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  23. Whatlauraloves says

    May 23, 2017 at 1:37 am

    Aw what a beautiful letter to read, so heartfelt. You’re very lucky to have your daughter as she is to have you xxx

    Reply
  24. Kristina says

    May 23, 2017 at 2:49 am

    This is beautiful! She is a beautiful little girl. I’d love to write letters to my kids someday to give to them when they are older.

    Reply
  25. candicenikeia says

    May 23, 2017 at 3:07 am

    you are such an amazing mother! I look forward to having a daughter someday. My mom and I are very close like you and your daughter!

    Reply
  26. daniella flores says

    May 23, 2017 at 3:52 am

    I am so sorry for everything you have had to go through! You guys are lucky to have each other!

    Reply
  27. Journa Liz Servito Ramirez says

    May 23, 2017 at 3:59 am

    What a beautiful letter.. This made me cry. I can feel that you’re getting stronger and better because of your daughter. YOU’RE A STRONG PERSON AND I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! Sending lots of love.. from Philippines!

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 23, 2017 at 7:19 am

      thanks so much ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  28. Heather says

    May 23, 2017 at 3:11 pm

    What an amazing, difficult, inspiring story you and your daughter share! I wish you all the luck in the future, and a continued wonderful relationship with your daughter.

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 23, 2017 at 9:50 pm

      thanks. I am glad this is inspiring to you. I am sure we will only progress from here.

      Reply
  29. Prime Beauty Blog (@PrimeBeauty50) says

    May 23, 2017 at 3:24 pm

    What an incredible story. You are a true fighter and your daughter is lucky to have you as are to have here.

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 23, 2017 at 9:50 pm

      thanks. ๐Ÿ™‚ We are both blessed to have each other.

      Reply
  30. forkwardthinkingfoodinista says

    May 23, 2017 at 3:28 pm

    You have both clearly been through a tough time – Such a lovely letter for your daughter ๐Ÿ™‚ x

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 23, 2017 at 9:50 pm

      thankyou ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  31. Anosa Malanga VA says

    May 23, 2017 at 3:44 pm

    Ohh, this post is so heartwarming. I can see the love you have with your daughter. I hope she would grow as the way you want her to be.

    Reply
  32. Stephanie Merry says

    May 23, 2017 at 4:48 pm

    What a beautiful, honest and heartfelt letter, you’ve both been through so much but you’re so lucky to have each other x

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 23, 2017 at 9:49 pm

      thanks Stephanie.

      Reply
  33. cvnxena says

    May 23, 2017 at 6:38 pm

    such a beautiful letter! It’s horrifying that you have been through so much, I cannot imagine what I would do if my son was taken from me because of someone’s lies! I don’t know how you have remained so strong through it all!

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 23, 2017 at 9:46 pm

      thanks. It has been horrifying at times and I’m glad life is much better now.

      Reply
  34. Renna says

    May 23, 2017 at 8:15 pm

    That is such a heartbreaking but beautiful letter. Your daughter is going to be a very strong girl and she will have you to thank for that. Xxxx

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 23, 2017 at 9:45 pm

      thanks.She is a strong child and will grow up to be a strong wall.

      Reply
  35. Amber Nelson says

    May 24, 2017 at 2:08 am

    So sorry that you have been through so much but it just goes to show how strong of a person you are!

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 24, 2017 at 2:25 am

      Thanks. Your right. I am a strong person or I have become one.

      Reply
  36. Carol Cassara says

    May 24, 2017 at 4:24 am

    very heartfelt and true. You’ve come so far as a family and I have nothing but well wishes for you two. I hope you guys live a happy life full of love from now on. Keep being strong.

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 24, 2017 at 5:43 am

      thanks

      Reply
  37. Dannii says

    May 24, 2017 at 10:56 am

    This is such a beautiful letter. Pregnancy can be so tough, can’t it. But just seeing them smile makes it all worth it.

    Reply
  38. Charlotte says

    May 24, 2017 at 2:26 pm

    Sounds like you have had a really tough time! At least you have your gorgeous daughter to help you through. x

    Reply
  39. Emily Leary says

    May 24, 2017 at 2:55 pm

    Beautiful letter, you’ve battled through so much hardship with such resilience! I’m sure she’ll love reading this one day ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 24, 2017 at 4:06 pm

      Thanks Emily. We sure have and it’s made us stronger ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  40. Ashleigh Dougherty says

    May 24, 2017 at 4:14 pm

    Such a difficult but somewhat beautiful journey that you have both been on. What a wonderful story to read x

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 24, 2017 at 4:24 pm

      Thanks Ashleigh!

      Reply
  41. cheskaaanels says

    May 24, 2017 at 5:47 pm

    Awwwh such a beautiful open letter! What a journey it has been!!!

    Reply
  42. secretplussizegoddessblog says

    May 24, 2017 at 11:30 pm

    Whoah. This post literally made me cry. A beautiful letter to your daughter, yet a sad and poignant one listing all the trials you have both faced.
    However, you have faced them and beaten the worst of them. You can see by your photographs how close a relationship you have, and clearly you will fight like a lioness to protect your daughter,
    I wish you both well xxx

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 25, 2017 at 1:45 am

      thanks so much lovely. I appreciate your comments.

      Reply
  43. Yaya (@mydreamality) says

    May 25, 2017 at 9:08 am

    One never knows what goes on in other people’s lives, and it’s so beautiful that you decided to write this letter to Sylvia, and allowed us to have a peek into your life and hardships. I am certain you are a wonderful mother as Sylvia always looks so happy in the photos you share with us. Good for you for fighting the good fight! x

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 25, 2017 at 10:21 am

      Thanks so much. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  44. nicol says

    May 25, 2017 at 3:31 pm

    this is absolutely beautiful to read. I’m trying to hold back to tears at work right now! i adore you both ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 26, 2017 at 3:19 am

      Thanks Nicol ๐Ÿ™‚ I appreciate your comments.

      Reply
  45. Louise x (@withlovefromlou) says

    May 26, 2017 at 1:01 am

    This post had me reaching for the tissues, Angela ๐Ÿ™‚ You are one amazing mummy and you and Sylvia are so lucky to have each other

    Louise x

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 26, 2017 at 3:05 am

      Thanks lou. She is my adorable princess.

      Reply
  46. Laura's Lovely Blog says

    May 27, 2017 at 9:20 am

    Lovely letter you have been through so much Angela and you are such a fighter and a fabulous Mum x

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 27, 2017 at 12:59 pm

      Thanks Laura. It has been one heck of a journey!

      Reply
  47. Lubka Henry says

    May 29, 2017 at 10:03 am

    Such a lovely letter. I had no idea you’ve been through so much struggles, but you’re strong and doing a great job as a mother!

    Reply
    • Angela says

      May 30, 2017 at 12:47 am

      Thanks lubka. It’s been a long journey!

      Reply
  48. Jenni says

    July 14, 2017 at 12:38 pm

    One of my nanny children has recently got into Spiderman. I bet he would like the Spider-Man Rapid Reload Blaster – it looks like lots of fun

    Reply
    • Angela says

      July 14, 2017 at 6:08 pm

      Awesome! The blaster is pretty cool!

      Reply
  49. fussfreejen says

    July 15, 2017 at 10:12 am

    Such a lot of heartache Angela, some really tough stuff there. I’ve said it before though, seeing you guys together is just beautiful, and I have read some wonderful things that you do together. I do hope that although things are so hard, and you face big struggles, that the wonderful life with your daughter continues to give you hope, love and courage to stay strong.

    Reply
    • Angela says

      July 15, 2017 at 6:52 pm

      thanks so much.I know things get tough but we are happy and that is what counts!

      Reply
  50. kirstyralph11 says

    July 15, 2017 at 11:46 am

    What a lovely letter to your daughter and you’ve been through so much but it makes you and her stronger. You’ve doing a lovely job and she is beautiful. The backpack is also great ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Angela says

      July 15, 2017 at 6:53 pm

      Thanks Kirsty! i appreciate this!

      Reply

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