Leaving Abuse Part Two The Story Continues
Yesterday I began sharing my Instagram snippets and our Journey from an abusive marriage to freedom. It's a long story and only parts are shared. One day I hope to write a book about the whole experience. For now I am sharing small parts. My story begins here, We have come along way since leaving abuse. Today I will continue the saga.
Please don't feel bad for reading. This is my truth, my experience and my story and it is important for me to speak out about my experience and it may just help someone else.
It took me a while to leave my bad relationship. It was not an easy decision and it was not physically easy to simply walk out. Today's snippets are from the weeks before I left. Sylvia was 6 months old when we walked away and we have had a protection order in place ever since. The true story continues.
I loved my little girl. She was and still is the joy of my life. A week after my husband punched me in the head I returned home "unaware" of my husband's infidelity and believing the loss of control and physical violence was a one off. I was promised it would not happen again...and it did not. However my husband continued to control me. He decided when I showered, when I left the home and sabotaged every meal I cooked by pouring noodles over the meal. (I officially hate noodles - and won't be promoting those ever on my blog).
Everything had to be done his way or no way and whenever I stood up for myself I faced more verbal and emotional abuse. I was not allowed to eat any "nice food" and was ordered to walk and exercise because I was fat. I was mad, I decided to stuff him! I had worked hard as a teacher before giving birth and I walked to the hairdressers and found the most expensive set of GHD Hair straighteners and bought them! I was beginning to rebel!
Just like Cinderella was abused and controlled, so was I. The more I fought the worse it became. It had only been a few weeks since my husband punched me in the head and I became so miserable and unhappy. My Wicked Mother In Law told me that "If I was a good and obedient wife everything would be okay". I wanted to leave the home. I wanted to tell people what was going on but I was told "What happens in the home stays in the home". I did not agree but I was not able to speak to anyone. My phone calls were controlled and monitored and I was trapped in my own home.
I needed to escape and in a way being forced to walk and exercise because I was "fat" and disgusting to my husband was in a big sense a relief. I left the home for my walk but when I returned my husband was mad. My baby had woken whilst I was out. He could not settle her and had become more and more frustrated. He decided to punish me. I was not allowed to see my baby because I had been for a walk, which he had sent me on. I fought to see my baby. I wanted to go in the room to her but each time I tried I was physically shoved to the ground. I felt defeated and laid on my bed crying unable to see my crying child. Sharing to raise awareness and speak out. (We have been safe for 8 years now).
Refusing to let me see my crying baby was the last straw in my marriage. I had been abused verbally and physically. I had been called names, blamed, neglected and controlled but I would not allow this to happen to my child. I began to plan my escape. I wanted to leave the home but I could not just walk out. There is no way he would let me. He told me if I left, he would ring family services and tell them I was "mental", "unwell" and unfit to parent. He said he would go to court and tell the judge I was depressed and unable to care for Sylvia. It was not true but this scared me to death. What if, just what if he did this and my baby was taken away? I could not risk it. I could not leave that day and it would be another two weeks before I was able to ring for help and get out for good.
Angela x
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I think you are an amazing and strong woman. Being able to say your story must be hard for you but i think it's so important and just by writing it you will help so many women out there.
I wish you all the best in the world
thank you. I do hope this will help many people, if not one.
What a disgusting person you were married to! It blows my mind that abusers will punish you for activities they sent you on. It's so much worse that your daughter was left to cry even longer because of it!
Sadly yes!
What an incredible story. I am so sorry you had to go through this, but am so inspired by your progress. You are an amazing woman!
thankyou so much. I am trying my best!
This is so inspiring. Thank you for opening up about such a sensitive time of your life.
Sondra xx
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Oh my goodness, I am so glad you found the strength to leave. How scary. You did the right thing for your daughter.
Me too!
Very happy to read you made it out. Stay safe, strong and happy. Good for you.
Thanks. I am glad to be on the other side of it!
You had a hard decision to make but it was the best one. I can only image how hard it was for you. I'm happy to hear that you are safe for years now.
It can seem so hard to leave, but so worth it when you do. I'm glad you found the courage to leave. xo
I'm so glad you got out of that situation. I have a friend who was able to break away from a similar situation and she's doing so well. Just bought her first home ever, in her name. Be strong.
Thanks. Me too. Glad to hear about your friend leaving a bad relationship. That's good news.
Gosh you had been so much I am so glad you managed in the end to get away but you never should have been put through any of it in the first place.
Me too! We have had a hard start but life is surely improving now.
Honestly, I often observe my parents having some quarells and my mom was very sad. You are so brave and I really admire your endless love you give to your child. I love my mother so much too. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Nina. 🙂
Your story of abuse is heartbreaking. I am so proud of you for having the courage to take a leap of faith and get out and go to safety. I look forward to reading the rest of your story.
Thankyou. It did take a huge leap of faith and I am glad I did it when I did.
You are so strong and inspiring. It's so great that you got out from that abuse and now living a free life.
Thanks so much.
I am sorry that you went through that. Your story will inspire a lot of people. I am just happy to know that you and your daughter are happy and safe now.
I hope it does.
It does seem that if you fight it, it gets worse. Hurrah for the day the 'out' comes!! Double hurrah for those who take it!
Yes when you fight it can be bad.
I am so sorry you had to deal with that, but I am so glad you were strong enough to leave! Thank you for sharing your story
Thanks. I am glad I was and am out the other side now.
So glad you found the strength to leave!
Thanks. Me too!