Yesterday I went to an annual Christmas Party which I loved and also disliked all at the same time.
I’m now feeling exhausted, burnt out, shattered and in pain. The party was only for 2 hours but I felt so unwell as I walked into the building. I had to sit down before I became dizzy.
It was really important for me to attend the Christmas party this year. I wanted to see my daughter having fun and watch her meet Santa for possibly the final year before she reaches the point of knowing for sure that Santa is fiction and doesn’t really exist.
So I attended the party. I didn’t wear makeup, dress up or do my hair fancy but I looked okay. A few friends said hi and smiled so naturally I smiled back.
A few people actually spoke to me but not many. I felt too sick to walk around and socialise. Had I done so I’m sure I would have had more fruitful conversations, however I wasn’t well enough and so I spent a lot of my time sitting at the table feeling nauseous and headachy.
I sat listening as a few of the women at the table backstabbed others who according to them “were eating too much food” or “being pigs”. I really didn’t care, A Christmas party is a time to enjoy and it doesn’t really bother me how much people do or don’t eat.
I am clearly overweight and do like party food, however I opted for a savoury dish, rice and chilli con carne. It tasted so good. I didn’t even glance at the sweet dishes. I felt too nauseous.
Upon sitting at my table I was praised for choosing healthy food. “I am impressed”, was the response of one lady.
Why was she impressed? Because I’m fat? Did she expect me to choose bad food because of the way I look? I didn’t need comments about my food choices! Thanks!
The women at the table continued to be negative and gossip. There was no Christmas cheer or happiness. Just a lot of criticising.
I began to feel very unwell. I knew what was about to happen. I needed to vomit. I walked to the bathroom. There was a huge queue. I decided to walk to the other side of the building to the other toilets.
People may have thought I was being inpatient but really I was saving them from listening to me retch as I threw up the contents of my stomach.
My Adrenal Insufficiency has been playing up since I’ve had major tooth ache and surgery this week and my body was under too much stress.
I washed up, returned to the hall and waited to see my daughter meet Santa.
Santa arrived. The children were excited, they all received a lovely parcel with a selection box of goodies inside.
Santa became a topic of conversation as my daughter sat at the table. The ladies discussed who was dressed up as Santa and questioned why the man who was supposed to be Santa was not there. They were oblivious to the fact two children were at the table.
It was assumed the regular guy must have gained weight and maybe that’s why he did not fit into his Santa suit anymore. Again the conversation was about weight and body size! I began to feel awkward!
I don’t think it matters to me how people look. What mattered to me was to see the joy and excitement on the children’s faces as they attended the Christmas party.
Sylvia was given some lovely chocolate. I told her to save her selection pack to take home and suggested if she wanted treats to go and eat the party food on the table.
Comments were made again!
How clever and smart!
Well not really!
It was common sense right!
If Sylvia ate a load of chocolate at 8pm she would be hyper all night and she had school in the morning.
My wise daughter chose a few treats, along with popcorn and fruit and that was much better than eating all her chocolate.
The party continued. Some people left early, as soon as the food and Santa was over.
Again this was a topic of conversation and a great thing for the women to critique and judge.
I pointed out that most of the parents who left had very young kids and babies and that they had routines to follow. It made sense for them to leave at 8pm.
The older kids remained and why would it bother you who stayed or went anyway? I guess some people just look for the negative in everything.
The night continued and despite the fact I loved watching my daughter have fun, I became more unwell as the evening went on and I simply wanted to go home.
I hung on until the party ended and then went and sat in the car as my husband helped clean up and stack chairs.
John drove us home and I sat in the car pondering about my experience.
It was a party, a time to have fun and an event to enjoy. My daughter had an amazing time, my husband did too and I was happy seeing them happy.
I had felt super unwell but I was glad my family had fun. I enjoyed my meal and enjoyed seeing Sylvia meet Santa.
I guess going to the party reminded me of the phrase, the glass if half full or the glass is half empty.
When we focus on the good and all the wonderful things we can be happy. However if we focus on the negative we will never be happy.
Some people will have left the party thinking it was fantastic, others left angry and annoyed at other people because that’s what they chose to focus on. I left feeling a little baffled, bemused and thoughtful.
Will I take my daughter to the party again next year? Yes if I am well enough. Will I sit with the same ladies next year! No! Did I enjoy myself? Yes and no.
So that was my experience. I am sure each person who attended will have had a very different experience at the party but that’s my truth and what happened for me.
I’m now suffering and told my husband I think I should have stayed home, I’m going to be recovering for a few days but at the end of the day I learnt something and that was that you can choose to be cheerful at Christmas or you can choose to be a bah humbug.
Food for thought!
Sent from my iPhone