On Wednesday 21st May at 2:06 am I became a Mother.
I am so happy. I love my daughter so much. She is beautiful. I fell in love with her the moment I saw her. She is just gorgeous. The serious pains began on Monday at 10 pm, so in theory, it took 28 hours.
I have never felt anything so painful in my life but she is definitely worth the pain. Well, the first two days have been so difficult.
The hospital was so busy that my baby and I were considered less serious only having problems with our sugar levels.
However, all the milk I had collected for her previously was used in the first few hours of her life. It was life-saving- without it, her sugar levels could have dropped to dangerous levels.
Anyway, Sylvia was so low I was told to feed her as much as possible.
I did not know how to do this and my daughter does not know how to suck and breastfeed yet.
The only option I had was to try and hand express and breastfeed.
I kept asking for help and was given jars and all the bits and pieces and was expected to just do it when I had no idea what to do.
The Nurses were too busy to speak to me.
I tried but no one would help me.
This went on for two days and my baby went yellow with jaundice and lost weight from not having enough milk. She was too tired and had no energy to suck.
In the night my baby was crying.
I did not know what to do, the midwife came around and told me "just do it" and refused to help me.
I rang my husband and asked him to come to the hospital to comfort our baby while I tried to get milk to breastfeed, nothing is coming out and the nurse says I'm not trying hard enough.
When Tevita turned up at the hospital tonight, the midwife was annoyed with me and refused to let him onto the ward.
Tevita went nuts. The Nurse called the security guards and asked him to leave. I was left alone once more with a screaming baby and no milk to feed her.
When the Nurse in the morning actually looked at my baby she realised how unwell Sylvia was and she was placed under lights for her Jaundice.
My breasts were so sore and damaged, I could no longer even try to get milk out. The nurse gave me formula in a bottle and after my starving baby had a drink she finally fell asleep.
I've been told not to feed my baby until my nipples are healed. So here I am in the middle of the night, 48 hours after my baby was born, using a machine trying to get out colostrum milk.
I have given my baby three-night feeds and they are sending me home in the morning.
I still don't know how to breastfeed and I will have to go buy a pump to try and help me build up my milk supply.
I don't have any milk. I hope I can get some.
I really need to learn what to do but the nurses are so busy. I simply have no choice but to do my best on my own.
A New Mummy
Angela x
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About Angela Milnes
Angela Milnes is a Qualified Early Years Teacher who has specialised in Preschool and Kindergarten teaching. She has a wealth of experience teaching young children and is passionate about kids crafts and having fun as a family. Angela has also taught cooking skills and loves to share both family recipes and easy instant pot recipes here on The Inspiration Edit. Follow her on Pinterest!
Oh lovely, this makes me soooo mad. When I had my daughter I felt like I was left to get on with things as well and I felt that everytime I asked for help I was bothering them. It is horrible how the health professionals that are there to help you at a time when you need them most make you feel so silly, guilty and lonely. I hope everything turned out OK 🙂
Gemma xx
Looking back I feel cross. I was so new to everything and had no idea what to do. The experience has made me stronger and when I one day get another opportunity to feed another baby I will!
Amazing that you have your journals to look back on what a treasure of information. It is heart breaking to not get the help you need to start breastfeeding - I never really realised until I was in that situation that although it is natural it is a skill that you and your baby both have to learn. I struggled with my daughter but we left the hospital just hours after she was born so had to figure it out as best we could ourselves.
I didn't realise either. I focussed so much during the pregnancy on the pregnancy and what i needed and i was quite unwell that I never realised how hard breast feeding would be....I tried and in the end I could produce milk but it was an experience and something I learned from. I love my journals and really do want to share more. I hope people enjoy these entries.
I'm so sorry you had a bad experience and weren't given the support you needed.
Thanks. It's something to reflect on and maybe it can help others to better prepare. I'd love to one day have a second child and if i did things would be so so different next time!
This post made me both cross and sad and the terrible lack of support you had in hospital.. This really is just awful, where the so breastfeeding support when they want every one to breastfeed so much? xx
Thanks Laura. It's one of those things I wanted to share although it wasn't exactly positive..but its truth and something maybe others can learn from.
OMG this is horrendous! I want to swear!! I won't :). You should never have had to go through this! You poor things. I hear horror stories of new mums not being allowed to leave because they are not feeding yet. It makes me so mad. We were lucky and once out my stepmum is a midwife and I can honestly say she learnt her stripes the day I brought him home showing me how to do it best. Its new to mum and baby it should not be forced on anyone and it should be supported where the desire is there to do it. She's grown into a beautiful young girl so you did everything right xx
What a blessing to have a step mum as a midwife! I'm glad she helped you! Breastfeeding is important but women should receive support and looking back I realise just how tough we had it! Angela x
What a great idea to write in a journal so soon after childbirth. I suppose its one of those times that you can cherish forever. So sorry you didn't receive the care you should have got.
I was simply in the habit of doing it and so I wrote every day. It was normal for me to do so. Thanks for stopping by! Angela x
Its so scary giving birth for the first time and suddenly having a newborn baby to look after let alone without any support. I am lucky that my hospital was pretty empty and so the nurses where able to help me. I can't imagine how you must have felt x
It was a new and scary experience. I think i'd be just as scared if i did it again but at least id knwo what to expect and knowing that is so important.
Oh it's so hard when you don't get any help! They really should have offered more support and encouragement in the hospital, it makes me so annoyed when health professionals are callous and uncaring.
It's certainly a learning experience and something to consider and look out for when my own child becomes a mother.
I'm so sorry you had this experience, when I had my son the midwives and nurses where fantastic, I don't know if this was because we were on the transtional care ward after emergency c-section or not and we were having antibiotics and there were issues with my blood, but the hospital had midwives specifically to help new mums breast feed. My son couldn't latch on because my nipples were flat so I was told to try sheilds and they helped loads. The standard of care should be the same I know it doesn't work like that because of staffing issues and budgets but it should be the same level of care across the board.
once again I'm sorry for your experience.
Yes, when I gave birth the ward was bursting at the seems and they were doing building works on the ward above so had joined two together and so they prioritised and had no time for me. No fair but thats the way it is with staffing/budget problems. Still they could have supported me once i was home in the community but that support was non existent too!
Oh poor you, it sounds like such an awful ordeal. Sadly yours is not the first story I've heard like this x
It was not the best of experiences. life can be hard at times but it's how we pull through! I'm sad my breast feeding experience sucked but glad I have a good bond with my daughter. Angela x
Oh my god, this should not have happened to you! I can't believe you were treated this way, and then them not letting your husband in! What an awful hospital. You really should complain, it's absolutely disgusting behaviour from the nurses, I'm just so sorry you had to experience this. x
Thanks Sabrina. Breastfeeding is so so important and for those who choose and want to do this, there should be support!
I am sorry to hear that the medical community did not support you enough but am pleased that you had the strength to keep on going and your bubba is a testament to your strengths as a mother. Lovely entry x
Thanks Ana. That's why I share to show we can go through anything and come out stronger! They say even flowers have to grow through dirt and I guess i must have been buried very deep! lol
What a beautiful little bundle of joy! But I am so sorry you had such a terrible experience post birth! Sounds awful the way you were treated 🙁 at that time you are confused and overwhelmed. all it would have taken was a few minutes to explain everything to you. Its appalling. #brillblogposts
Thanks Jodie. It was a confusing time and it would have only taken a little time. i've learnt from this and wont ever let it happen to me again or my own children.
It makes me so sad to think that the overwhelming message of this is how hard the feeding was - it's such a common story; shouldn't those first days be memorable for other reasons? It's so tough being a first time Mum. I was lucky as I felt very supported and the inital struggles of feeding were only temporary. Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub x
My experience was not nice and I hope others don't have to go through this. It really was exhausting to the point i became unwell. it would have been so different with support.
Oh Angela, this is such a sad post 🙁 It must have been so awful to be treated like that in your very first days of being a mum. As I said on Facebook earlier I was so lucky with my postnatal care at the hospital, nothing was too much trouble and they sat with me and helped me hand express when T wouldn't latch. I really couldn't fault the care I received (well apart from one midwife)- I just wish everyone got the same level of care.
It would be great if we all got the same level of care but i guess it isn't going to be the same for everyone. Thanks for commenting.
Angela,
I can complete 100% relate to you on this. The same thing happened to me and it really still till this day effects me.
Im sorry you had to go through this hun *cuddles*
Charlotte x
Oh I'm sorry you went through the same experience. It really does have a lot to do with the support we have available but it would be great if this support was consistent and we all got help to do what we need to do as new mums. Angela x
It's so sad that they wouldn't help you at all. Breast feeding is hard at the best of times which is why my children were formula fed x
Looking back now it is sad and I feel a little sad. I was so new to the whole experience. Hopefully this will help raise some awareness for others to ensure it does not happen... although sadly it sometimes does even today.
I cannot get over the lack of support you had in those first few days! That is awful. I bet you were a wreck and so worried. In this time you need all the help you can get to succeed with feeding. I hope things settled down when you went home and you could bond with your precious baby. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst and see you soon x
It was pretty poor and sadly by 6 weeks I was so exhausted and still struggling that we ended up separated for some time which was heartbreaking for me as a mother and my baby. Never again will that happen!
This is really, really sad. I had a similar experience with my first, where no matter how many times I rang the bell for help, the midwives were just too stretched to come and help me get my baby to latch on. As a result, my milk didn't come in, leaving me feeling like a total failure when I'd had my heart set on breast feeding. Things were different the second time around, where I was much more confident about what I wanted from feeding!
So lovely that you have these journals too.
#coolmumsclub
I'm pleased I kept my Journals. It's something I feel a sense of achievement about and whilst I wont share all my entires. there are some great ones I will be sharing in the future. Angela x
I've only just come across this post. It makes me so mad and sad. I'm a nurse and feel ashamed that these people are part of the profession I love. My daughter in law went through an almost identical experience as you, after a very traumatic birth. I was so mad I put in a formal complaint, I did get an answer but it was just the usual whitewash. I hope you are now enjoying your beautiful baby and that the next one you get some real support. xx
It makes me cross sometimes... it's all good saying next time..but this may for some people be the only chance and support should be given every time ..your right and i agree. It's poor practice and a bit sad!
Oh my god! I've just read this and it has made me so incredibly sad to think you weren't given any help for such a crucial part of being a mum. We're constantly told the benefits of breast feeding and it is still in the minority and it's with stories like this you can see why.
Then there's the fact that the hospital were so short staffed that the nurses hadn't cared for you or your daughter properly, nor even see how sick she was.
Those first few days are so hard at the best of times let alone when you're struggling. Thank god it had s happy ending!
Yes if I ever get another chance I will make sure I fight for support and not get walked all over.