When My Husband Buys Flowers
The Awkward Truth
How do you feel when your partner or husband buys flowers? For many the experience of receiving flowers is a special moment but this has not always been the case for me. I guess it all started when I was 12 years old and in high school. There was a boy who really liked me. I mean he really really liked me, but he was dirt poor and so on Valentines day he did the unthinkable.
This young man jumped off the school bus at the Cemetary and then turned up late to assembly presenting me with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers. It was not only embarrassing but I felt awful knowing what everyone else knew, that I’d been given flowers which were for a loved one passed on to the other side.
As an adult most of us would be horrified especially those of us who have lost loved ones and from that moment I started to associate flowers with negative experiences.
The next time I received flowers was from a boyfriend when I was 16. However, I was really disappointed to overhear him bragging to friends that he had stolen the flowers and chocolates from the Supermarket. Yet again reinforcing the idea that receiving flowers was a negative experience and one which reduced my self-worth feeling unworthy of bought flowers.
It’s funny how our experiences shape our lives but I can honestly say I never received flowers again. Well not until my daughter Sylvia was born. Now that was special. I had stayed home all day and my now X-husband brought home a daffodil for me. That was nice but again, I was being gifted a flower from someone who was controlling and abusive towards me and though the gesture was nice, I often received gifts as a form of apology for abusive behaviour and it didn’t feel too great.
Since marrying my sweetheart John, he has bought me flowers on several occasions. Each time I have felt awkward. I’ve felt a little unworthy of flowers and not really known what to do with them. So I decided to do something about it. I decided to reclaim this area of my life and accept flowers as something I deserved, as a gift of appreciation and care.
It’s not been easy changing my thought patterns around flowers, however, I purposely went out and bought a beautiful vase and every month in 2016 I asked John to buy flowers for our vase. It’s really helped. I had more flowers in 2016 than I’d had in my whole life and I’m beginning to see them for the beauty they are, for the decor and beauty they add to the home and accept that I am worthy of a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
I’ve never told my husband about my experience with flowers. I didn’t want to make him feel awkward and in accepting the gifts he sometimes gives me I have come to embrace this form of gift. I now see flowers as a sentiment of love. I appreciate my husband for bringing me flowers when he does. I don’t mind if they are marked down if it’s a flower from our garden or a huge bunch of roses.
Flowers have now become something special and are now positive and meaningful experiences in my life and I plan for them to stay that way.