When My Husband Buys Flowers
The Awkward Truth
How do you feel when your partner or husband buys flowers? For many the experience of receiving flowers is a special moment but this has not always been the case for me.
I guess it all started when I was 12 years old and in high school. There was a boy who really liked me. I mean he really really liked me, but he was dirt poor and so on Valentines day he did the unthinkable.
This young man jumped off the school bus at the Cemetary and then turned up late to assembly presenting me with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers.
It was not only embarrassing but I felt awful knowing what everyone else knew, that I’d been given flowers which were for a loved one passed on to the other side.
As an adult most of us would be horrified especially those of us who have lost loved ones and from that moment I started to associate flowers with negative experiences.
The next time I received flowers was from a boyfriend when I was 16. However, I was really disappointed to overhear him bragging to friends that he had stolen the flowers and chocolates from the Supermarket.
Yet again reinforcing the idea that receiving flowers was a negative experience and one which reduced my self-worth feeling unworthy of bought flowers.
It’s funny how our experiences shape our lives but I can honestly say I never received flowers again. Well not until my daughter Sylvia was born. Now that was special.
I had stayed home all day and my now X-husband brought home a daffodil for me. That was nice but again, I was being gifted a flower from someone who was controlling and abusive towards me and though the gesture was nice, I often received gifts as a form of apology for abusive behaviour and it didn’t feel too great.
Since marrying my sweetheart John, he has bought me flowers on several occasions. Each time I have felt awkward. I’ve felt a little unworthy of flowers and not really known what to do with them.
So I decided to do something about it. I decided to reclaim this area of my life and accept flowers as something I deserved, as a gift of appreciation and care.
It’s not been easy changing my thought patterns around flowers, however, I purposely went out and bought a beautiful vase and every month in 2016 I asked John to buy flowers for our vase.
It’s really helped. I had more flowers in 2016 than I’d had in my whole life and I’m beginning to see them for the beauty they are, for the decor and beauty they add to the home and accept that I am worthy of a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
I’ve never told my husband about my experience with flowers. I didn’t want to make him feel awkward and in accepting the gifts he sometimes gives me I have come to embrace this form of gift.
I now see flowers as a sentiment of love. I appreciate my husband for bringing me flowers when he does. I don’t mind if they are marked down if it’s a flower from our garden or a huge bunch of roses. I don’t mind if he orders a flower delivery to our house.
Flowers have now become something special and are now positive and meaningful experiences in my life and I plan for them to stay that way.
I can’t believe he gave you flower from the cemetery. Flowers are beautiful but I do understand where you coming from, I didnt always like flowers either. The difference is the person who gives you the flowers. x
What a lovely post. Well done for getting over your negative experiences!
thanks. Sometimes the strangest things happen. I sure am over it now though!
Deborah Nicholas says
wow i cant even remember the last time my hubby bought me flowers – i tend to buy them myself when i do the supermarket shop lol
Kim Carberry says
It’s such a shame you had such a negative experience with flowers….I’m glad things are better now. I love to receive flowers for special occasions but when there are no occasions and they are just because they are the best type 🙂 x
Ah what a lovely turnaround it’s so nice that flowers now mean something positive for you after all that x
Lovely to know that you have changed the meaning of getting flowers to mean such a special thing. You did the right thing. Please keep enjoying each and every bloom you get. You most likely deserve them!
Newcastle Family Life says
It is funny how things can have meanings like this isn’t it? Growing up my mum always had fresh flowers in the house, she would buy them weekly and get a huge bouquet delivered every Christmas eve off my dad as a gift. As she died when I was younger I have never really had them in the house and never buy them as they remind me too much of her. I really should start buying them again as they brighten the house up and are homely xx
Yes i think it’s good to reclaim things which have bad or sad memories and make good new ones!
What an horrible experience for you when you were younger. I can see why it has been with you for all these years. I was never a fan of flowers when I was younger as my mum never liked them. One day something changed, I love receiving them now 🙂
Ana De- Jesus says
I used to think that flowers were a thoughtless gift too and I don’t really tend to receive flowers but now I do see it as a symbol of love x
I guess our experiences do shape how we feel about them!
Paighton Millington - The Lazy Mamma says
I’m so glad you were able to look at flowers as a positive again! I always used to think that people didn’t put much thought into the gift if it were flowers, but now being married I see that actually a lot of thought does go into it. Beautiful photograph on your wedding day with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers ☺️ X
Lauretta at Home and Horizon says
I think my husband gets away with buying me flowers as their heady scent gives me headaches, so I’d always opt for a pot plant over flowers. I suppose he could always buy me the fame ones though right? 😉
Such a shame you had such a negative experience of people giving you flowers. I love getting flowers but I normally only buy them for myself when they are reduced lol
Ditto. I like them reduced!
Zena's Suitcase says
You deserve lots of positive experiences, whether it’s receiving flowers or other gifts. What a shame the experience has been tainted for you
It was but I have reclaimed it now 🙂
Fashion and Style Police says
Oh my. I won’t say I am a flowers girl per se. I like having them sometimes.
I think they brighten up the room.