Go Forward In Life With A Smile My Experience Of Counselling
Today I’m going to share something on the blog I’ve never shared before. Last year I completed two and a half years of counselling. That’s right. I had been having private counselling or therapy, whatever you choose to call it for the past two plus years and now I’ve finished the journey.
Having counselling is not something I’m ashamed of. It’s something that was needed to help me overcome and move on from some difficult situations which I have faced as a child and young woman and as an adult who has lived in an abusive marriage. I never knew just how far I would come with the right counsellor.
When I started my therapy I was a different person. Someone who had been treated badly at times and as a result I had lost my confidence. I struggled to say no to people and stand up for what I wanted. I found myself justifying my every move, constantly apologising and asking permission for the silliest of things. I’d even ask my husband John if it was okay to have a glass of milk. He would kindly remind me I don’t need to ask permission but I’d developed a habit of asking permission and that amongst many other things needed to be addressed.
I know being mistreated in the past has had a massive effect on my self-worth and confidence and it really did affect the way I reacted and acted and how I felt about myself. I’ve slowly worked on different aspects of my life and although I still have the terrible habit of continuously saying sorry, (something I’m not sure I will ever overcome completely) I have grown so much and am in such a better place emotionally.
Having counselling does not make you any less of a person. It does not make you emotionally unstable or mentally ill. Sometimes we just need to talk through the experiences which effect one’s life and the chance to get therapy was just what I needed to move forward in life.
Back in 2013 I had no idea how long I would need counselling. I had no idea if it would work, or if it could help me to overcome my past and get stronger but it has and I’m really grateful for the opportunity and for my husband for the financial sacrifice he allowed us to make for the treatment I needed.
Having counselling not only allowed me to grow in confidence and discuss some terrible experiences. It also helped me to learn to live with my current issues, my current health problems which will always be here and to learn to go forward with a smile and purpose no matter what.
I don’t plan to write anything else on the topic of counselling as a blogger. It’s something which is very personal to me but I can say it has really helped me and I’m really pleased with my progress. I have goals, I am a Mother and a wife, a writer and blogger and I feel happy that I have a sense of purpose and a plan for me.
The nasty moments in life, I have been through will always exist, they are a part of me, but they are also what makes me a stronger person, a better person and a more understanding person. I’m grateful to my counsellor for the support she has been to me over the past two and a half years but am excited to move on now and take what I have learnt with me into the unknown.
Angela
I agree – counselling is not something to be ashamed of by a very brave move to take responsibility for your life hon xx
Thanks Talya. It’s a great thing when you get the opportunity. It’s not always affordable or easy to access.
I have had counselling a few times in my life and found it really helpful to speak to someone outside of the situation.
It can be useful talking to someone who is NOT part of everyday life.
I fully support counselling, and realy believe it can help, I have had it briefly in the past and it is something that has been talked about for my Daughter, but we could not find someone who could help her with her illness and understand her illness, we did try with someone from CAHMS but she did not like her and refuses to go back x
it took a long time for me to find the right counsellor and I think that really helped.
This is such a brave and informative post to share – I’m glad counselling has been helpful for you!
Thankyou Milly
Thank you for sharing something so very personal with us. Counselling is a wonderful tool to help us work through issues and difficulties and enable us to move on in life in a more healthy and productive manner. All the best to you x
I totally agree Sarah. It’s a tool we can use to help us in life!
I think that’s one of the smartest things you can do to help you deal with issues. I’m glad you stuck with it all the way through. I think therapy is brilliant, and honestly, everyone could use it.
Thanks. It was not cheap but made a huge difference and has really helped.
Counselling can be a good thing. I had it when my mom passed away a few years back and it really helped me
I think it can be very useful for many situations.
Well done for talking about this, I can imagine that counselling would be helpful. At times, I’ve thought about maybe going to talk to someone xo
I think EVERYONE could do with some therapy. It would make the world a better place.
Im glad counselling is working for you and i love that quote – so true!
Thanks Deborah! It has been a blessing and a wonderful thing.
I freaking love this post.
I’m so sorry for everything you’ve had to go through, no one deserves that..BUT…WELL DONE you for completing your therapy and I am so glad it has benefited you.
No one should ever feel less of a person for having therapy, if anything it makes them stronger for being brave and saying..yes, I have a problem, I need to talk about.
You should be very proud of yourself lovely xxx
thanks so much. It is something I didn’t tell anyone about but now i’ve completed I’ felt okay to share.
I used to do the same, even in my own house I would ask if I could have food or use the bathroom because I didn’t know what I could and couldn’t do, largely because of the way I had been mistreated. I think it is amazing how much you have accomplished in such a short amount of time and well done for showing that its ok to have counselling.
thanks Ana. It’s something that happens with mistreatment but yes, I have come a long way 🙂 Thanks for sharing.
Counselling is so good sometimes as we do often need that external outlet. I’m glad you feel better since having it and it really isn’t anything to ever be embarrassed about, so I’m pleased you’ve spoken out. I had terrible anxiety so I went for CBT therapy. That really helped me put my thoughts and worries into perspective.
Agreed! I think CBT is great for anxiety and worries!
I’ve had counselling in the past and it was one of the best things I ever did x
Me too! So very useful and has changed my life.
That’s fantastic news that you felt councilling helped you. People should not be ashamed for needing it as everyone copes with things in different ways x
Thanks Rhian. It is a great tool for many of lifes difficulties and experiences.
I think councelling is better than any other type of treatment for depression and/or anxiety personally. Just being able to get things off your chest is like a weight off. Also talking to a stranger is easier to me than talking to my family, I don’t think anyone should ever be ashamed of having gone through councelling, it can literally save your life.
Agreed. It is a great treatment. Shame it is not more available to those who could benefit.
I have had counselling. Unfortunately it had to end prematurely as we relocated and there wasn’t a specialist in our new area. I love that quote and I’m going to remember it! xx
So sorry to hear that. I found when I had it with services or public it ended in a few weeks and was not sufficient… paying for long term was the only way it worked for me.
Due to an 11 year abusive marriage Iv had counselling most of my life and then intense therapy with shrinks due to being diagnosed with Bipolar and PTSD and yes it saved my life
Counselling in so important especially if you have experienced abuse. it can really help.
Im glad the counselling helped you move forward, that quote is so positive too
Thanks Melissa. 🙂 Glad you like the quote!
Counselling is definitely not something to be ashamed of. Getting help is such a brave step.
I agree. It is empowering and beneficial when done right.
This is so lovely!!! I’m so glad that through counselling you were able to tackle the past and allow yourself the freedom you deserve! I titally agree that counselling is an amazing tool, sometimes you just need someone who has no judgement to sit down and talk over things you usually wouldn’t tell anyone else! In your case it seems to have been a great experience!
thanks Francesca. it can be a great tool to help people.
I commend you lovely, I don’t have time for counsellors, I’ve never had a positive experience with one and I don’t think I’ll ever give another the chance!
I think our experiences do shape how we feel about certain things. This was my first counsellor where it actually worked!
I’m so happy you’ve done it and that it has helped you so much! You’re amazing and very strong lady 🙂
Thanks Lubka. It was not easy and I’ve tried it in the past and its sucked but this time I had a good counsellor.
Theres no shame in therapy or counselling Angela. My mummy’s sister had conunselling and it was very beneficial x
Agreed. It can be very beneficial to many!
Such a positive review of counselling – it’s something I too advocate. I’m really pleased to read that it’s helped you move forward.
Thanks for linking up to #outsidemywindow, I’d love to have you back again next time.
I’m glad you liked this.