When parents first think about supporting the development of their children, it can feel overwhelming and like a lot of pressure. The first things that tend to come to mind are the perfect grades, expensive programs, or packed schedules that keep them learning everything and anything. However, while education is important, it isn’t everything. A child’s development should be well-rounded, and include things like fun, social skills, emotional regulation, hobbies, rest and much more, to help them grow into a capable, confident and emotionally secure human being. True development is well-rounded and holistic; it includes creativity, values, physical health, education, wellbeing, etc. But not at the expense of anything else.
There is no right or wrong, only learning and supporting your children in a variety of ways that help them grow while at the same time as meeting their needs. To help you and your children on your journey, here are some practical and balanced top tips to support your children in their growth and development. These tips are helpful for growing children of any age and can be adapted accordingly.
Understanding child development as a whole
It can be helpful before diving in to understand a little more about children’s development and the journey that they embark on. No one develops in a neat, straight line or a separate box. Humans are multifaceted and have overlaps across all parts of their lives. For example, physical health will influence mood and behaviour, emotional growth can impact learning, experiences in social settings can influence confidence, and so much more. This is why moving away from the narrow focus of just something like academics is really key, so that other, critical needs are not neglected.
A well-rounded approach to your children’s development looks at the safety and security that children need, in addition to things like stimulation, rest, connection, joy, freedom, guidance and more. It is also important to remember that development will happen differently in children, even between siblings. It isn’t a race; they will grow at their own pace.
Identifying and meeting needs
One of the most powerful ways to support your children and their growth is to identify what they need and meet them, not just their wants. Core needs suggested by psychologists include things like physical care (nutrition, sleep, health), emotional security, autonomy, consistency, a sense of belonging and feeling understood.
There will never just be a list that you can make (unfortunately) of needs and then tick the right boxers to meet them. It will take time to learn, to actively listen, to pick up on behaviours and cues, and to learn how to communicate needs as they get older. When they are very young, it will be a case of learning that acting out may be a request for attention, or irritability may be a sign of exhaustion. More often than not, the behaviour means there is a need to meet behind it. Ask yourself what your child might be missing or needing at that moment. And as they get older, you can work more collaboratively to identify this. All of this work can help you to respond more effectively and support growth in areas such as emotional intelligence, resilience, trust and confidence.
Encouraging hobbies and personal interests
Hobbies are not distractions from “real development”, they are actually an essential part of it. Through hobbies, children can learn what they like and don’t like, begin to develop their own sense of self and autonomy, build important physical and social skills and experience hard work, joy and mastery. One popular hobby among children tends to be football. If you can find the right group for them, for example, football classes for 5 year olds, then you can help them gain a sense of ownership over their talent as well as their time.
Avoid the mindset of only choosing hobbies that will lead somewhere, like the status of achievement. The goal is to let children be curious, creative and express themselves in a way that feels good for them. This might also mean cycling through different hobbies until your children find ones that they enjoy and want to pursue. Children can learn so many important life skills through hobbies.
Supporting emotional development and mental well-being
Emotional literacy is extremely important when you want to support your children in their development. Children may need help at first to identify what is going on with them when emotions arise, but when you can help them to name it and manage it, they can learn how to better regulate themselves. This is a critical skill for development and life in general. You can start with learning yourself, and modeling that behaviour to your children and being more open about feelings.
Finding the balance as a parent can be really difficult, but it is also important to learn how to integrate emotional validation with boundary setting. You want to give your children a safe space for expression, without any judgment, so they can build their inner world and their confidence. But at the same time, you want to learn boundaries around how they respond or act out, for example, if it is harmful to them or others. This kind of support can help strengthen self-esteem, improve relationships and reduce things like anxiety.
Make room for fun and play
Fun isn’t a luxury or something that has to be earned. It should be an essential part of development. Play can help emotional processing, creativity, cognitive growth and social skills. Through playing and having fun, children can test boundaries, learn from them, explore the world and make sense of their experiences.
Play is particularly valuable when it is unstructured and taps into the imagination. Children can lead, enjoy, and independently problem-solve. You can include this in your family time, with things like spontaneous adventures and games. This is also an excellent way to strengthen your bonds and your relationships.
When children feel safe, supported and are able to express themselves, development will happen naturally and at their own pace. Through this approach, you can watch them thrive.
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