5 Key Tips for Navigating Holiday and Special Occasion Schedules in a Parenting Plan

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The holidays are naturally a time for joy and togetherness but, for families who are separated, they can also bring stress. Deciding which parents spend time with their kids over which holidays can quickly become an emotional rollercoaster and extremely complicated. However, a clear plan can make all the difference.

With just a little forethought and cooperation, you can create a schedule that works for you and your former partner so that the holidays stay special for your child and manageable for both parents. Use the following five tips to craft a holiday plan that works for everyone in your family: 

1. Put Your Child’s Well-being First

When putting a focus on understanding the nine common stipulations in custody, nothing is more important than the fact that your child or children’s well-being(s) comes first. Navigating the holidays is no different. The holidays are about creating joy for your child and it’s natural to have strong feelings about how you want things to go. 

Maintaining familiar traditions or starting new ones, assuming they become stable, can provide your child with a routine that brings about stability. For example, if one parent’s side has always hosted a Thanksgiving dinner, continuing that trend can be helpful for your kids. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t start a new activity with the other parent, such as baking a festive dessert or something similar.

Avoid scheduling handoffs directly during celebrations as this can disrupt the flow of the day and lead to stress for your child. Always maintain a positive and peaceful approach to show your child that they are loved and supported on both sides. 

2. Alternate Holidays Between Parents

A simple and fair way to handle the holidays is to just alternate the major holidays on a yearly basis. You could also divide major holidays, such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, then alternate the next year as well so that each parent has a turn at one throughout the year. 

This also allows you or your partner to plan ahead by knowing exactly which holiday you’ll have while preventing disputes over who gets what. This can give both you and your partner equal opportunities to make memories with your children while ensuring there is a balanced arrangement in place. 

3. Share Holidays When Possible

For some families, it may actually make sense to split the day rather than alternating despite risking slight instability. This generally works better if your children are already on the older side and can manage the disruption in stride. An excellent way to do this, using Christmas as an example, is to have your children open presents at one parent’s house while enjoying breakfast then having them open more presents and enjoying dinner at the others. 

Generally, this setup only works well if both parents live close to each other and can cooperate in a friendly manner. Clear communication will be critical. You need to agree on one exact pick-up and drop-off time to avoid any confusion or stress as this will allow your child to enjoy their time with both parents without feeling like a burden. 

4. Include Special Occasions Beyond Holidays

Remember that holidays aren’t the only special day in your child’s life. Any birthdays, school events, or other significant milestones in their lives are equally as important. A proper and well-rounded parenting plan should include these occasions to ensure that both parents are participating meaningfully in their children’s lives. 

School plans, sporting events, and graduations are some common examples of special occasions that should be discussed between you and your former partner. These smaller but equally as significant events contribute to a sense of normalcy in your child’s mind and can show your child that both parents are actively involved in their life.  

5. Have Flexibility and Contingency Plans

Regardless of how perfect your parenting plan may seem on paper, there will inevitably be curveballs that arise. Whether it’s flight delays, sickness, issues with scheduling, or something else, unexpected events can arise all the time. This is where flexibility on behalf of both parents is crucial.

To confront this potential issue, build leeway into all your co-parenting plans to account for the unexpected. Including a clause that allows for make-up time if a parent can’t be present on a scheduled holiday, for instance, can overcome this hurdle. 

Build a harmonious holiday plan for your family

Holiday scheduling is always difficult but it doesn’t need to be a source of conflict. Always prioritize your child’s happiness above all else to create a plan that works for everyone in your family. The goal is to make the holidays and special occasions a joyful time for your child, so collaborate and communicate with your former partner to set the stage for warm and happy memories for your child or children.