If your co-parent isn’t getting the kids to school, start by keeping track of what’s actually happening.
Talk to them clearly, and step in where you need to, so your child doesn’t fall out of routine.
School isn’t optional; it shapes how your child learns, stays grounded, and even how courts view parenting decisions. The sooner you deal with it, the better.
At first, it might feel like a small slip. Maybe they overslept. Maybe the morning just got out of hand. But when it keeps happening, it’s no longer minor.
It starts to affect your child in real ways. Miss enough days, and they can fall behind before anyone fully notices.
There are cases where parents have lost custody over school attendance when repeated absences raised red flags about neglect.
That’s why it helps to stay calm but take it seriously early on. Focus on steady, practical steps instead of reacting too late.
What to Do When Your Co-Parent Won’t Take the Kids to School
Start with the facts. You’ll need a solid record before you try to fix anything.
1. Keep Track of Missed School Days
Make a note every time your child misses school or shows up late.
Try to include:
- The exact dates and times
- Any texts or emails between you and your co-parent
- Notes or messages from the school
This isn’t just busywork, it matters. Most states have strict attendance laws.
For example, under California Education Code §48200, kids between 6 and 18 are required to attend school full-time. The same basic rule applies across the country.
Chronic absenteeism is defined as missing 10% or more of school days. According to the U.S. Department of Education, about 16 million students were chronically absent in 2021–2022.
2. Talk to Your Co-Parent (Keep It Simple)
Keep the conversation short and focused on the child.
Say what you see:
- “They’ve missed 5 days this month.”
- “Their teacher is concerned.”
Avoid blame. You’re building a record of reasonable effort. If talking doesn’t work, switch to written communication (text or email). It creates proof.
3. Contact the School Early
Don’t wait until the problem gets worse.
Reach out to:
- The teacher
- Attendance office
- School counselor
Ask for:
- Attendance reports
- Academic impact
- Support options
Schools track patterns. They can confirm if your concerns are valid.
4. Review Your Custody Order
Look for clauses about:
- School attendance
- Transportation duties
- Daily schedules
Courts expect both parents to support education.
5. Step In If Needed
If your co-parent won’t act, you may need to:
- Adjust pickup/drop-off
- Take over school transport
- Notify the school of changes
Consistency matters more than fairness in this moment.
6. Consider Legal Action
If absences continue, talk to a family lawyer.
Options may include:
- Filing for custody modification
- Requesting court enforcement
- Showing educational neglect
Judges look at patterns, not excuses.
Keep your focus narrow: your child needs to be in school every day, on time.
7. Watch for Warning Signs at School
Attendance problems don’t stay isolated. They often show up in other ways.
Pay attention to:
- Falling grades or missing assignments
- Messages from teachers about behavior or focus
- Your child feeling anxious or behind
According to the National Center for Education Statistics, students with high absenteeism are significantly more likely to struggle academically and drop out later.
You don’t need to guess. Ask direct questions:
- “Are they keeping up with work?”
- “Have you noticed a change in participation?”
Small signs add up. Catching them early helps you act before the situation gets harder to fix.
Key Takeaways
- Keep a clear record of every missed or late school day, including messages and school notices.
- Talk to your co-parent directly and switch to written communication if the issue continues.
- Contact the school early to confirm attendance issues and understand the academic impact.
- Review your custody order for responsibilities related to school attendance and daily routines.
- Step in and handle school drop-offs if your co-parent isn’t following through.
- Watch for warning signs like falling grades or teacher concerns tied to absences.
- Use documented patterns and school records if you need to take legal action.
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