For Most Of Us, Having Time For Ourselves Feels More Like A Dream

For most of us, having time for ourselves feels more like a dream. Being busy with taking the kids to school, managing snack requests, and taking care of the household often causes us to put our own needs at the bottom of the list.

We can’t take care of others if we’re running on empty. When we don’t take care of ourselves, we start to feel exhausted and slowly lose our sense of who we are.

I know most moms don’t really need another lecture about “self-care.” They already know they should drink more water, sleep more, relax more, and stress less. The problem is that real life doesn’t always leave room for perfect routines and two-hour morning rituals.

However, small rituals don’t require a lot of time, and they can be very effective - many women rely on them daily. They’re quite simple, which makes them easier to stick to.

1. Micro-Meditations

Most of the time, when someone says to sit still and meditate for 20 minutes, many moms don’t understand how anyone is expected to find 20 minutes of totally uninterrupted peace in their life. Usually, if they try to sit still for that long, they’ll either fall asleep or their children will get into something that ends with the walls covered in permanent marker. 

However, micro-meditations are simple, quick, and easy to fit into your day. You only need to find 60 to 90 seconds to breathe slowly and calm your mind. 

A good time to do micro-meditations is while the coffee is brewing. Close your eyes and take five deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose for a count of four, then slowly breathe out through your mouth for a count of eight. Try not to think about anything and simply focus on your breathing. This helps your body and mind relax before your kids start asking you for things.

You can also try a method that helps mentally release old burdens. On the inhale, mentally name what you’re feeling, whether that’s anxiety, stress, or exhaustion. On the exhale, quietly say to yourself, “It’s okay.” This is a very effective micro-meditation technique, especially for new moms, who often feel anxious and under pressure.

Overall, micro-meditations can help you feel calmer and more in control of your life. This is why I recommend incorporating them into your daily routine. 

2. Meal Prepping In The Morning

Many mothers feel pressure to prepare both healthy and delicious meals. By 5 pm, they may already feel exhausted after making hundreds of decisions throughout the day. At that point, making another decision about dinner can feel overwhelming.

How do you make dinner decisions easier? Preparing meals in advance can help reduce decision fatigue. You can do this in the morning, after the kids have gone to school. It’s quiet in the house, and the brain usually functions better in the morning, which makes it easier to decide what to prepare for dinner. You can also cook for the next day if you have enough time and energy.

Meal prepping is easier than people think. You only need to decide on the protein and vegetables for dinner. You can cook them separately and store them in containers. When dinner time comes, you simply “assemble” everything and maybe quickly prepare a sauce in the pan as well.

For example, you can roast a few vegetables, boil some eggs, and cook your protein ahead of time. The only thing I don’t recommend preparing in advance is fresh salad.

3. Visualizing Your Own Dreams and Goals

As moms, our brains are usually filled with other people’s goals - schedule the dentist appointment, get the toddler to eat broccoli, book the restaurant for the extended family get-together - just to name a few. We become so good at managing these tasks that we forget about our own dreams and goals. We often delay taking care of our own needs and aspirations. 

A great way to bring your focus back to your own dreams and goals is through visualization. 

You can start by keeping a small physical reminder of your personal dreams - a simple, focused vision board. It can contain just a few meaningful images and affirmations. Place it somewhere you’ll see every day, like on your wardrobe door, so you can look at it every morning when you wake up and every evening before bed. 

Visualizing images and words, even for just a few minutes a day, helps the brain stay focused on those goals. This is one of the reasons vision boards have become so popular: they genuinely work. They activate a network in your brain called the Reticular Activating System (RAS), making it easier to stay motivated, focused, and even notice opportunities you might have otherwise missed. 

You can either use already-made vision board kits or make your own. If you prefer the DIY method, search for relevant images online, print them out, and tape them onto a small board. You can also write down a few affirmations and place them next to the images.

If you don’t have enough space for a physical vision board, you can create a digital one, save it on your phone, and look at it for a few minutes each day.

4. The Evening Ritual

No matter how busy the day has been, I recommend trying to set aside 30 minutes for yourself before going to bed. It’s usually quiet in the house, and the kids are already asleep.

This “me time” can become a true evening ritual, starting with a warm shower filled with relaxing scents. After the shower, you can moisturize your skin, apply your favorite face and body creams, and then drink a cup of tea. I recommend lavender tea because it can help you relax and sleep better.

You might even light a scented candle and simply sip your tea without thinking about tomorrow’s tasks. Just pure relaxation. You can also spend a minute or two looking at your vision board before going to bed.

I encourage every busy mom to try adding at least a couple of these rituals to their daily routine. They’re a great way to reduce stress and feel more balanced.