Three Years of Marriage In Sickness and in Health
Today marks the three year Wedding Anniversary for me and my sweetheart John. It’s be a tough three years. Within days of marriage I collapsed and was diagnosed with Adrenal Insufficiency. My life has never been the same again and our marriage became something we never imagined with the words for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health meaning much more to us than one might think.
John moved into our home the day we got married. We did not live together before marriage. He lived in Wakefield and me in Pontefract Yorkshire. We spent two nights at the Premier Inn and then began life as husband and wife.
Not only did John move in and become a husband. He also became a step father and a few weeks later a carer for me- with my poor health. John built a relationship with Sylvia whilst we dated but once he moved in a took on the role of father, life improved. Sylvia has had John has her father for three years now and it is as if he was never not part of the family.
Sylvia lives her dad John. He is her dad, she calls him dad. They play fight, spend time together, go on daddy daughter dates and love each other to bits. John has sacrificed a lot in the past three years. We didn’t expect me to become so unwell once we were married and he was unable to work due to my need to have someone caring and helping me with medications and illness.
Our income took a big hit. The health took a hit but through it all we have been happy together. We are a happy family and we love each other and will do anything for each other. We had to change our plans. our dreams to work and save for a home were put on hold.
Our plans to grow the family were sadly dashed. I honestly don’t know if John and I will ever have a child of our own. I’ve been sick for so long we have accepted that it is unlikely we will have more children unless my health improves significantly.
There is still a glimmer of hope but we may have to settle for one child which is not the end of the world but also not our original plans. However we are sensible and realistic and so for now the focus is to get my health improved and for us to build our blog to the point we are one day able to save for a mortgage and buy our own family home.
We love each other more and more. John has never called me a name, hurt me or been violent. We have not had a fight yet. We are just happy together. Life is by far not as expected but we are fighting each day for the things we need and working together as a team to give Sylvia the best life and opportunities we can.
It will always be hard. I will always feel a little inadequate and feel like if I was more well I could do more for Sylvia but I can only do what I can with this illness which drains so much energy and strength.
If I was well today on our Anniversary, I would have got my hair dyed. I would have had my eyebrows done and gone on a date with John. Instead my darling hubby bought be some supermarket Sushi for lunch and I’m in bed with a headache and dizzy. I stood up this morning and nearly collapsed. So it’s another day in bed.
I’m excited as tomorrow is a potentially life changing moment for the family. I am going to London to start a one month trial of the Adrenal Pump! Yes can you believe it…after all I have been spouting on about for the past three years, the day has arrived.
I didn’t even have energy to pack a bag, so my friend Rachel helped me to pack for me and Sylvia. She is a wonderful friend. I’m all packed and ready to go and after 3 years of marriage and almost three years of Adrenal Insufficiency we are off to London to see if this Pump can change my quality of life and that of my husband and daughter’s.
I sure hope so… I will be taking a few days off and will report later this week on our progress. I’m excited, nervous and scared. It does not work immediately and might not but I believe it will and in a few weeks I will know. I’d paid a lot of money for this trial, it will be worth every penny.
I will then have to save the remainder of the money to pay for my own adrenal pump. I’m not sure how I will save this but I will do all I can. I have to for my husband and child. They have had 3 hard years as have I and we deserve the next year to be a little easier.