When Lack of Control Causes Anxiety
As many of you may know, my family will be moving house in a few weeks. In fact, we are not only moving homes, we are moving countries and with that comes a lot of stress and for me added anxiety.
It’s been a long time coming and I’ve done my best to prepare to move to New Zealand but despite all we have been through, all the planning and our best intentions I find myself feeling stressed and anxious.
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When Anxiety Gets the Best of Me
What is it that is making me anxious and why is this happening? Well to be honest the most stressful part of the move for me is the unknown. It is not knowing how much of our belongings will fit into cargo and how much will have to be sold or given away. This causes me stress because then I don’t know how much we will have to pay in additional fees and I don’t know how much time I will need to sell items on facebook.
I guess the theme here is not knowing and not having control and therefore deep down my anxiety must be to do with feeling out of control.
Feeling Out of Control
Not knowing the full details and costs of international shipping for me causes me to feel stressed. I wish I could just say, it’s fine, we have enough money set aside and once we know what’s fit in to our container I can deal with the left over items. However my mind stresses and worries way more than I’d like it to.
Again this is down to me feeling out of control and feeling that I need to know all the details in order to relax and not be stressed.
Understanding My Anxiety
As I sit and think and question what on earth is stressing me out and making it difficult to sleep at night, I begin to see a pattern. I begin to see how I get wound up when I do not know the final outcome.
I’m a little worried about setting my daughter up in school but because I know they will have to accept her as she is in zone, I am not too anxious.
I’m worried and anxious about the covid tests we have to have the day before we fly to New Zealand. I wish I was not worried and that I could just say, yes we have to have tests and all will be fine but for some reason the stress of test results causes me anxiety.
Another thing that makes me worry is the unknown regarding my blog, not knowing if I will succeed in all I plan to do. The funny thing is some unknowns stress me out and cause me to feel so so stressed, yet others don’t bother me.
Therapy for Anxiety
At the end of the day I know I am suffering from anxiety which I do not want. I don’t fully understand why and I think I need to have some therapy sessions and counselling yet again. I had counselling for a year back in 2016 but I really do need it again as I have things I need to work things out.
I’m actually considering finding an online therapist for anxiety. I think this may work better for me due to the fact I am unwell and unable to travel often and also with the pandemic and social distancing and lock down, online therapy is looking like a better option.
I could go with a local therapist once we settle in New Zealand and to be honest, I’m still undecided. What I do know is that I need to talk through my worries and figure out why I am like this. Most importantly I need to find some solutions and ways to help manage and cope when I feel overwhelmed with worry an anxiety. Techniques that could really help me long term.
I don’t think I’m the only one. So many are stressed and worried, especially with homeschooling and remote learning, lock down and more. These unknowns and stresses are effecting many and I’m sure we could all do with a good dose of therapy sessions. What do you think?
I’d love to hear back and wonder how many of us are struggling with anxiety at the moment?
Angela
