Successful Co-Parenting After Divorce – Collaboration
Have you just got divorced and are fraught with co-parenting? It is no surprise that co-parenting is a difficult task. Divorce can be the ultimate outcome of the growing tensions in your marital life that only got worse over the passing time.
The worst toxicity that you may spread as a divorced mom or dad is to tear down your ex in front of your child. Though it can be cathartic for you, this can strike at the foundations of your child’s development both emotionally and physically. More precisely, when a child holds warm feelings towards his/her other parent, bad remarks made by you for their adored parent can deteriorate their mental health. For instance, if kids hear bad things about their parent, they are likely to internalize those attributes; they can grow to perceive their parent as bad that is likely to alienate children.
Don’t air bad feelings about your ex in front of the kid, rather spread positivity and support.
No doubt, divorce can be relieving for you and your ex-spouse due to distance and uncoupling from marital transgressions. However, at the same time, If you have been blessed with children, co-parenting may draw you closer to your spouse once again. Yes! Co-parenting has such potential. It is one way by which you can provide support to your children to ensure their positive development.
Co-parenting is essential for the children to thrive, and that requires divorced dads and moms to commit to this process and provide stable family environments. Your children can only become better able to handle the world when they hold a sense that their dad and mom are co-parenting to improve their life. But co-parenting is not as easy as it sounds.
The entire look of a family gets changed when parents get divorced. But divorce should not break the family completely. Parents who commit to staying connected for the sake of their children even after ending their marriage can offer their children better outcomes. In co-parenting, divorced parents continue their relationship as parents. This requires a sufficient amount of consideration and some common ground for the wellbeing of children. However, if you are going for co-parenting, you need to make sure it is a successful one. Now, you might be thinking about what are the do’s and don’ts of successful co-parenting. Let’s explore!
The reasons for the dissolution of your marriage can be multifarious. Whatever the reasons, divorce can cause disharmony leading to adverse changes in your child’s life. Therefore, conflict-free and child-focused communication with your former spouse is imperative. Ensure transparent communication with your kids to help them understand the changes after divorce.
Through open communication, you can easily allocate responsibilities, chores, and time with your kids. Also, constant communication is crucial for both parents to discuss matters about the welfare of their children. The behavior you display with your ex will surely affect your children’s perception, so be sure you are respectful towards each other.
After the split of your marriage, discipline becomes inconsistent; that can lead to inconsistency in your child’s behavior. For instance, some behaviors that are allowed at the home of one parent might be forbidden at the other’s home. This may confuse the child’s expectations and, therefore, problematic behavior may escalate. Being a co-parent, make sure you provide a similar routine to your children related to their wake time, meal schedules, playtime, and bedtime. This will not only keep them healthy but also will give a sense of consistency to grow up healthy.
Surely, co-parenting is not an easy thing to do for spouses who have already gone through marital issues. Also, if you are parenting your child in a healthy manner and your ex has failed to do similarly, it can risk the development of your child. No doubt, divorced couples find it difficult to compromise with each other. But remember! Rigid behavior is not going to work, specifically when you are co-parenting. So, as a co-parent, you need to compromise and stay flexible with your ex when it comes to maintaining your child’s daily routine and special occasions.
Parents who are flexible can execute successful co-parenting as compared to those who refuse to compromise.
Your commitment to co-parenting means that you have to share your responsibility to raise your child together with your ex. Here, you need to set your former hostilities aside from current responsibilities of co-parenting. Children who observe parents continuing to work with cooperation learn problem-solving skills.
If you cooperate with your former spouse, you can help your children build strong relationships in their future. Be sure you support the role and relationship of another parent with the children to ensure the healthy development of your child both mentally and emotionally. Cooperation in co-parenting demonstrates that you put the needs of your children above everything and you can do whatever it takes to become the best parent.
Fair Allocation of Time
Children need the presence of their parents both physically and emotionally. It becomes difficult for couples who have just got divorced, leaving the needs of their children unmet. Parental time is crucial for the positive outcomes of a child’s upbringing.
To ensure successful co-parenting, both parents should organize a fair allocation of time to spend with their children. Due to the unavoidable transition in co-parenting, each hello to one parent is also a goodbye to another parent. However, to make this transition easier for your children, you should allocate time fairly to celebrate birthdays, holidays, and other occasions.
A divorce can be upsetting not only for couples who have parted but also for their children who have to lose one of their parents. However, co-parenting can be the best option not to let your child feel lonely. Be sure your co-parenting is a successful one. With these pillars mentioned above, you can ensure successful co-parenting after your divorce. By following these pillars, a foundation can be achieved for successful co-parenting to ensure the positive and healthy development of your children that makes it worth the effort.