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I’m staring at the sick bowl trying to stay calm. I just want to puke. The nausea is unbearable. I wish I could just get this over already. I am so unwell.

I have adrenal insufficiency. My cortisol levels are not right. In fact My adrenal symptoms are getting worse. My head hurts. The back of my eyeballs feel like they are about to explode. The pain across my head is severe. My legs and arms are aching. I can barely think.

What has caused my body to require more cortisol? Well the answer is pretty simple or is it? I appear to have a skin infection. The life saving steroids I take to keep me alive weaken my immune system and infections are all too common for me.

But there is something more going on. If it was just an infection I would be able to double dose and get through. There must be something else affecting me as my symptoms worsen and my blood pressure drops to the point I can no longer stand.

I am dizzy and weak and becoming dehydrated. I search my body for signs. What is going on? I notice a rash. This is not normal. Maybe I have a viral infection that I am unaware of.

No matter what the underlying cause, my medication is not sufficient. I need to increase my dose even more. The nausea is sweeping over me again. I need a break but this will take time.

I call my husband please help me. He is helpless. What can he do? He can’t take the pain away. He can’t will the nausea to leave as much as he would like.

I take comfort in knowing someone cares. Yes I am going through this but I am not going through it alone. My husband is by my side.

My eyes continue to hurt. Maybe if I go to sleep I can get some peace. I will just close my eyes and rest. What more can I do?

I know eventually this will pass. Yes it is hard to take but I can do this. Eventually the pain will leave and I will feel improved. I just have to ride the wave of adrenal insufficiency once more until my cortisol levels are stable and knowing I will improve gives me hope. Hope that I can make it through another crisis.

Angela x

sick bowl