Understanding The different types of Abuse
Previously: Smothering Hammer Heads, A Form of Abuse
Shark Messages Are False Messages
The false beliefs and messages I was being fed whilst receiving abuse affected my psychological wellbeing. Shark messages can cause victims to lose themselves, their self-worth and self-esteem. Victims of abuse can begin to feel everything is their fault and wrongly believe that they are to blame. A Victim of Abuse can feel worthless, useless, messed up, crazy and depressed.
Shark partners place expectations on their other half as to who they are and what they should be. Sharks feed partners messages of what they should, must or ought to do. Such messages include:
Be happy to be ignored
Make my family happy even if you get unwell
Accept that your needs are not important
Do what I say when I say
You have to lose weight to be loved
You must let people live in your home and support them
You have to do’ everything I want.
You have to buy me chicken
You must sponsor family members
You must give us your money.
You must rescue us from our problems.
You must not challenge me
You have to bring me a towel
Don’t put your needs first, do’ what I want
Do my schoolwork
Write my assignment
Pay my bills
Go to work, while I stay home
You must always be busy. You are not allowed time out, to relax or do anything you enjoy.
You must not talk to your friends and family.
The more a victim here’s false and untrue messages, the more they believe. The more they lose their self-worth and the more they lose a sense of who they are. A victim of abuse will eventually lose all confidence in their own selves and of what they are capable of as unique individuals.