Shark Messages Are False Messages

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Shark Messages Are False Messages

The Confusion of Abuse

Welcome to Chapter Nine of

Understanding The different types of Abuse 

Previously:Smothering Hammer Heads, A Form of Abuse

Chapter Nine

Shark Messages Are False Messages

The false beliefs and messages I was being fed whilst receiving abuse affected my psychological wellbeing.

Shark messages can cause victims to lose themselves, their self-worth and self-esteem. Victims of abuse can begin to feel everything is their fault and wrongly believe that they are to blame.

A Victim of Abuse can feel worthless, useless, messed up, crazy and depressed.

False Messages

Shark partners place expectations on their other half as to who they are and what they should be. Sharks feed partners messages off what they should, must or ought to do. Such messages include

Be happy to be ignored

Make my family happy even if you get unwell

Accept that your needs are not important

Do what I say when I say

You have to lose weight to be loved

You must let people live in your home and support them

You have to do’ everything I want.

You have to buy me chicken
You must sponsor family members

You must give us your money.
You must rescue us from our problems.

You must not challenge me

You have to bring me a towel

Don’t put your needs first, do’ what I want

Do my schoolwork

Write my assignment

Pay my bills

Go to work, while I stay home

You must always be busy. You are not allowed time out, to relax or do anything you enjoy.

You must not talk to your friends and family.

The more a victim here’s false and untrue messages, the more they believe. The more they lose their self-worth and the more they lose a sense of who they are.

A victim of abuse will eventually lose all confidence in their own selves and of what they are capable of as unique individuals.

Angela x

Next: Shark Control, Power and Control in Abuse

False Messages

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  1. In my home country the “make your family” statement is really important for the elders. I have never agreed with it but I do know people who for the sake of making their families happy they remained in an abusive relationship, pretending they are happy. And it’s so sad, because they are still together and he still abuses her, even if they have a child together…

    1. yes I understand the elders and respecting the parents in certain cultures but it ended up being abusive for me and was not acceptable!

    1. Yes, it’s good to know and recognise these messages and not allow it to happen again. Sometimes it can be easy to get sucked back in though!

  2. Hearing comments like that all the time would break me I think. You’re a super strong lady xxx

    1. it can break you but sometimes it’s starts off so subtle that eventually it is normal and what you expect and believe.

  3. I have never had anything like this before but I can’t even begin to think how low it makes someone feel. I bet confidence is close to non existent.

    1. I’m glad you have not experienced this. I think it’s great for those who have not experienced this to understand and be aware incase they come across it.

  4. Abuse is much more common than people would like to believe. It’s so important to spread the word and the message and try to help those that may not know there is a way out as they may not even recognise that they indeed are victims to abuse. x

    1. Thanks. I totally agree. It is not good and is not acceptable and spreading the word is key to improving relationships and leaving abuse.

  5. It’s so horrible to think that there are people out there happy to pull people down and abuse them, and worse to know that it’s happening to someone and sometimes you can’t do anything to help.

    1. Your welcome Anosa. I think sometimes people are in a cycle and they don’t realise what they are doing is so wrong and those being abused don’t realise it either.

  6. Identifying that these messages are false and can safely be ignored is the first step to gaining control over a situation you are not leading. I hope you raise awareness and help someone reading this post x

  7. I can honestly say I had never hear of this term before, so I am glad you were able to educate me about it. In my daily job I work with Domestic Violence victims, and have heard them say so many times that the mental cruelty was almost worse than the physical. Thank you for your honest post xxx

    1. Shark messages is a term I coined for my book. Yes often the emotional abuse and psychological torment from abuse is much worse than physical. It was for me!

  8. I’ve never heard of this type of abuse before being known as Shark Messages – but I agree with everyone else here, it’s just not fair on the victim 🙁 x

    1. It’s a phrase I created to describe emotional abuse. It’s int he book I wrote at the bottom of the page 🙂

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