Today I wanted to speak out about something which has been bothering me over the past few weeks. I’ve seen your news feed pop up every few days on my Facebook page and I’ve noticed your racist comments, comments which make me screw up my face in disgust.
You are British by birth but live in New Zealand and although we were friends, I really don’t want to be friends with you any more. In fact last night I removed you from my friends list. If it were up to me, I’d removed all hatred and racism from the world.
Sadly I can’t do that. I can’t change people like you. I can’t force you to have compassion and love for others. I can’t force you to stop being a racist bigot, but I can choose not to be friends with you. I can choose not to read your rubbish or support your racist views and opinions.
You talk about Muslims as if they are all terrible. It’s simply not the case. Yes your home city of Manchester was attacked, I feel your pain. It affected many of us here in the UK and the Manchester bombing was pure evil. However this does not make all Muslims evil.
There were Muslim taxi drivers on that night working for free helping victims and their family members to get home. There were people of all races laying flowers and coming together as a community and then there are racist people like you who are unwilling to see the good and instead choose to perpetuate racism and build a wall of division, a wall which can’t do any good.
I Don’t Accept Racism
I read your comments on Muslims. I disagreed and kept quiet. I understood your anger, yet I disagreed. You see, my first Endocrinologist, the one who diagnosed me with Adrenal insufficiency and as a result saved my life, he was a Muslim.
In fact, he was from overseas and without him, I might not be around. I would not want him to “go back to his homeland” when there is so much good he can do here in the UK. There are my friends, the girls of Pakistani heritage who I attended high school with.
These girls had high morals and standards. Yes they ate different foods and some even had planned marriages but these girls were great friends. They worked hard and studied hard and had just as much right as I did to live in the UK.
You say, all Muslims and refugee’s should go home. Where is your compassion? Where is your understanding? How is it you can label people by religion or race and accuse them of all being the same. Not all British people are the same. Not all New Zealand folk are the same.
Your attitude and hatred towards Muslims is not the only thing that struck a cord with me. You recently began writing and speaking about Maori’s. A Maori is a native of New Zealand. In fact my Mother was born in New Zealand and I have Maori blood.
I descend from the Ngai Tahu tribe. Once again you used your Facebook page to voice your racist opinions. You spoke against the Maori people and disapproved of tribes. Your lack of respect for the people of the land was very clear.
Maori Are Native To New Zealand – British Are Not
Can I remind you that you are British. You were given residency to live in New Zealand many years ago, yet you speak bad of Maori as if you have a greater right to live in NZ than Maori do.
Yes I understand the tensions in New Zealand surrounding the upcoming election. I understand that you feel Maori rights and heritage does not need to be recognised but that’s where I disagree.
New Zealand is a great huge melting pot of many cultures, however before we the British ever set foot upon the land of the long white cloud, there were a people living there and these people were Maori.
Over the years there has been a lot of intolerance, racism and disregard towards the Maori people and in today’s world Maori language and heritage does need to be preserved. Just as the American Indians of America and the British in the UK want to preserve their traditions.
I do not like your racist attitude towards Maori people. I hate that you speak of “Maori” as if we are all scroungers, living in poverty and relying on benefits. Again you generalise and stereotype people based on race and this is simply wrong.
Whilst at University I was able to meet many professors, teachers and leaders of both Maori and Polynesian heritage who were leading the way in fields such as “early years education”, “medicine” and “law”.
My sister is part Maori and she graduated top in her year at Medical school. My brother in law is Maori and he is a qualified lawyer. I identify as part Maori and am a qualified teacher. I really do think that when you generalise and stereotype based on ethnicity, it builds barriers and walls. We should be smashing those walls down, not building them up.
Racism Is Destructive
Sadly you cannot see that your way of thinking is destructive. You are passing this onto your children and spreading this hatred towards others across social media. I choose not to stand with you. I choose not to share your beliefs. I choose not to read your comments.
I am deeply offended when you say that Polynesian children are good for nothing. When you say they need to go back to the Islands and learn to husk coconuts.
My child is half Polynesian. She is Tongan and British. My child has every right to live in her country of birth and here in the UK. She has every right to gain an education and have the same opportunities as white children.
Sadly there will always be racist people like you. I can not change that but I will speak out and write this letter because your attitude is the poison we need to keep our kids away from. Your behaviour is unacceptable and the one thing which will continue to create a divide in a world which needs to come together rather than be torn apart.
Angela Milnes
You may also enjoy the following article: A letter to my son who will grow up to be a black man.
This is a great post. Unfortunately most of us have to deal with similar people and it is frustrating to say the least. I have always tried to teach my kids to not focus on color or background and then they will see or hear something and then we have to go into conversations about people not all feeling the same way about everyone.
It is always good to remove or try to remove negative people.
It is true and it’s great to remove negative people.
I don’t understand racist people either. I was always taught to love and be kind to others, and this is what I’m teaching my kids as well.
Good to hear. I agree if we all do our part to teach our kids then that will be great.
Glad you removed the person from your FB. I do that as well when people get out of hand with their remarks. I will never understand racism and what motivates such hatred in some.
I am sorry you had to experience this. Racism must be called out or else it will continue.
I realize this was directed at one ‘ex’ friend, I hope you remembered to send this to that person directly.
It is really sad when you discover someone you considered to be a friend is a racist, and it is hard when they turn against your people, even when they don’t realize it. Valid arguments don’t help either. I must admit I find it interesting when people turn their racist views against people that lived in a location long before they did.
I can’t understand how people can still think that way in this day, I can’t get my head around it at all 🙁
I’m lucky not to have any racist people around me. But the problem for sure exists. I think we should keep teaching our kids and change the society this way…
It’s so sad that racism is still an issue, I think it always will be. I’ve never understood it. Why does religion or skin colour matter? I don’t care who, what or how someone looks. If they treat me with kindness respect then I’ll do the same. Life would be such easier if people stopped and thought
Angela,
you did exactly the right thing, by removing a toxic person from your life. We can all do a small part to bring love and understanding into this troubled world. By showing love and kindness, to all we meet, we defeat evil. Our children learn what they live. Children that grow up with kindness learn to be kind!
Gosh how awful to think that somebody like that was on your friends list, it’s awful just how somebodies true colours show at times like this. I removed a few from my own friends list of late.
DANG! That is hard to believe that a person puts that out on facebook and thinks that other people will tolerate that hatred. I admit my prejudice. . . I don’t like or want to be around racists and bigots.
It’s sad and it’s everywhere. I choose to ignore it and keep it away from me. I am an adult now just like my peers but it’s sad that some people are still as immature as a child.
It is the best thing to do. We should remove the hatred form our children and make them embrace all religions and races.
Very nice post on racist views. I don’t know why people are so racist and boast their skin color. Skin color is determined by genes and nothing to do with living. If you have great minds and intelligence then you can showoff. By facing some incident in our life we cannot judge whole community or tribe.
I can relate on everything about this letter. I’m afraid that teaching children to be open minded and non racist is not enough because every person learns by the experiences too. If a person is weak, he/she’ll tend to rely on the most apparently “strong” and intolerant position and this will result in voting for the more xenophobic parties. Society and communication must help parents to grow up non racist people
I agree with you. Racism is wrong. Everyone has the right to live on the land. We can’t adopt a general opinion for a community because of a few people. This shan’t happen. I do not entertain it at all.
It is sad that there are people like that, thinking they are better than others. It’s good for you that you removed that old friend from you list.
I hate racist people. As if they were perfect person to say bad things to others. As they always says, “Look at yourself first before judging people.”
I can’t believe someone made these blind sighted comments about other cultures and religions, some people just have no idea x
It’s sad that there are people out there who likes to make other people down. I wouldn’t want any of my children near racist or negative people too.
I’ve also removed negative people from my facebook for making statements such as racial ones. I don’t have time for hate or people who complain about everything. This is a great post and I’m glad you stood up for yourself and how you feel. The more we choose to ignore these bad behaviors and negativity, the happier we become in our own lives.
I came from a Family where racism and prejudice of any kind were not tolerated and we do not associate with people who hold those kinds of views. I try to always be kind and practice love because that’s the only way to peace. I’ve seen some of those same comments from people on social media and I’ve promptly blocked them too.
It looks like you did good to remove this person from your life, as well as to call them out in a post which is a letter to all who think this type of behavior is acceptable,
Sarah
http://www.hitcontinue.eu
This is such a thoughtful, heartfelt letter. There are several Facebook friends that I no longer keep in touch with because of this exact same reason. It’s so sad that they’re so hateful. I actually feel sorry for them. They don’t seem to realize that they are alienating themselves from so many good people.
It’s one of these posts where I am at a complete loss for words. I really do not know what to say here. It is sad where we live in a world where people are put into boxes of all different races, religions and creeds. Unfortunately I have heard too many people from all sides of the political spectrum say this to the other group because they don’t like whatever they think, feel, believe, or actually are. I think communication and understanding are the only way through this but I don’t see people making the first move to do this. That makes me sad.
Lately I find myself clearing my Facebook friend list. My daughter was printing a paper from my computer and asked me s question, I was shocked. She told me it was on my computer, that day I looked at my feed and had to delete 3 people, who I had worked with in the past because I try to remove toxic people from my life.
Equality is all we need to succeed. Cheers to people who spread this kind of awareness.
Anytime I encounter things like you described, I can’t help but think “It’s 2017 for goodness sake, aren’t we beyond the color of people’s skin or their religion?” There are good and bad people in all walks of life. Truly, truly unfortunate. x
Yep..people are nuts…well some are!
I think there is a bit of a culture at the moment for people to think behaving like this is ok. That blaming terrorism on one religion when it is in fact an extremist group and not at all representative of that religion. I don’t know much about Maori culture at all, but they are native to the country and all races should be respected. Sounds like you should have cut this person out ages ago Angela x
I should have. No time for people like that!
I don`t know who people find time to be mean. Honestly, they don`t have anything else to do with their life? Being racist is something they definitely learn from others and this make me so sad.
I don’t understand why there is so must hatred around! It makes me sick when I hear cases related to racism or other discrimination in our society based on religion, caste, creed or nationality! Glad that you removed you old friend from your list. It is nice to keep yourself away from toxic people!
It’s not good and yes getting rid of toxic people is important!
I can’t get it why people want to be racist! Why people just coexist and live a peaceful life with one another without judgement and color naming.
You did the right thing. I would do the same if that person was my friend too. I feel so bad about this. I just hope that he spares Muslim children.
Racism is wrong on so many levels. Your letter was greatness… so heartfelt.
It is wrong. Thanks
Yeah, I completely agree that racism exists. I can see in this in my office so much these days. Every second person i saw on work floor has influence of this. They are judging people based on their skin color not on their talent. You article has given me so much positivity. Thanks.
Thanks. I am glad this is doing good and helping you out.