I’ve gained weight over the past year and it’s not something I am very happy about. I have to be honest, since starting my blog, losing weight was something I have always tried to do. I even had weight loss surgery which helped a little but the reality is my lifestyle due to chronic illness and my medications make losing weight super hard.
However, last year in August when my Grandpa died, I decided to not bother trying any more and take a break. I have not overeaten or been a pig. I do eat healthy a lot of the time, however I have refused to weigh myself and as a result I slowly put on the pounds.
I don’t actually know how bad it has become. I have not stood on the scales but I think I may have gained 1-2 stone in weight. My clothes are too small and my bra is too tight.
I am finding it harder to climb the stairs and my body gets tired even faster. I know the weight gain is not helping and at some point I need to try once more to do something about it but I am still not ready. I really am not.
I don’t want my life nor my happiness to be defined by the size of my body, the weight I gain or lose or by the way I look. However it is hard not to notice that my face has become rounder and fatter recently. My tummy is wider and my hips are too.
Months Of Chronic Illness
I have had many months of illness, extra steroids and extra medication and that has certainly impacted me as to why I have gained weight, however I would rather be on extra steroids gaining weight than be in hospital at risk of an adrenal crisis, at death’s door and away from my family.
So why am I sharing? Well why not! I just don’t feel I am in a place to deal with my weight issues at the moment.
I do have an appointment with the hospital specialist team to discuss my weight loss efforts at the start of July and it’s not going to be pleasant. I think I will wait until then before I decide to focus on my weight again. I need a little more time.
In the meantime I will continue to focus on the things which seem more important to me right now such as my Iron levels, my Vitamin D, Folate, B12 and zinc. When they are out of wack I feel so much worse and trying to keep these levels in range is hard work.
Getting Comfortable Again
I’m also going to buy a new bra which fits so I can feel comfortable again and save for some better fitting trousers and t-shirts.
This week I got a new pair of glasses which is so cool. I had an eye test recently and my prescription had changed. It was time to upgrade and when I collected my glasses I was super pleased to be able to see clear again.
I’m going to the Wigan infirmary next month to check my iron and see if I need another iron infusion. Next week I see my GP to get more pain medication for the ongoing pain issues I have.
The one good thing is my teeth issues seem to be okay for now. It took almost 18 months to sort and due to a slow dental system I ended up having three teeth pulled, along with lots of fillings and now my teeth are okay once more.
I can’t believe I had all those root canals and so much pain for so long. I am glad I finally had the teeth removed and can move on with my life. I will get my teeth checked again in September because my steroid use makes them decay easily, even with strict care.
Well, I am currently on a triple dose of steroids. I have a period, a new skin infection and a sore throat. It’s hard because my daughter wants her friends to play and come over but I catch anything and everything so easily.
I sometimes wish kids would not come over but then I can’t deny my daughter the chance to play with friends.
It’s a fine balance. At least I have some essential oils which have protective qualities and help me to fight viruses. They really do work to reduce the symptoms when I catch something.
Plans To Leave The Home
I am currently housebound a lot as usual. I have been to a few appointments, made it to church for one hour in the last 4 weeks and I’ve been to Aldi once last month.
It’s a new month and I have four goals this month. First is to try and see my GP to get more pain medication and steroids. Then I want to go to Primark with Sylvia to get her new 2 hoodies for our trip to New Zealand. I also want to get a few Disney items for my sisters girls, Anna, Ella, Lilly and Eve.
It will be winter when I go to stay with my parents in NZ and we need to take warm clothes. I’d like to go to church again of course this month, as that’s something I love to do and finally I’d like to make a special trip to the temple, a special place that I love to visit.
So health wise I have gained weight but my goals for this month is to get to church and the temple, go shopping once and see the doctor. I’ll keep working on my health and slowly start to think about weight loss again when I am ready.
For now I have enough on my plate, like not feeling dizzy and sick each day and being available for Sylvia when she needs me.