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Today I wanted to share my thoughts on grieving at Christmas time. I never planned to write this post but I’ve had a hard day and just wanted to write how I’m feeling and share it.
I’ve not lost too many people during my life. In fact, I think I’ve been quite blessed in that many of my loved ones have lived long and happy lives. However in August this year my grandpa David passed away and this week I’ve been struggling a little and I’ve really been missing him.
My grandpa David was very unwell before he passed away. It was not easy and despite missing him like crazy and feeling sad I am glad he is no longer suffering. It’s not easy though and I think the Christmas season has made things a little more difficult.
Whilst I think of grandpa often, I think things were triggered the other day when facebook brought up a memory from last Christmas.
It was a small video I made of my grandparents at Christmas when we went to visit grandma and grandpa and as nice as it was to see him, it also made me feel so sad that he is not here this Christmas.
We usually visit grandma and grandpa for Christmas. As a child I visited my grandparents most Christmas and New years. We would have parties with food and celebrate the season together.
Grandpa always bought us treats and I think as I’ve been preparing for Christmas, in particular as I’ve seen certain foods and treats in the supermarket it’s really begun to affect me.
We visited Aldi and I saw grandpa’s favourite easy peeler oranges. I made me choke up and miss him and I bought a bag of oranges just because I missed him.
We are planning to have cheese for Christmas and as we looked at the cheese options for our crackers, I saw grandpa’s favourites, his blue cheese and the pate that he usually bought. I just felt so sad.
The good news is I believe my grandpa is in a good place and I do believe I will see him again one day, but I just miss him so much right now and it’s not easy being separated from loved ones.
I guess I just needed to say how I’m feeling and let it out. I miss grandpa and I had a bit of a cry tonight. It must be so much harder for my grandma than it is for me.
Christmas is a wonderful time but it’s also a difficult time for many, for those who may have lost loved ones this year, for those who are homeless, lonely and living on their own or for those struggling to pay the bills.
I guess the one take away from this is to look at what I can do to help others in the coming week and to be aware of those who may be struggling at this season.
At Christmas time my grandpa would buy gifts for everyone. He even gave gifts to the dustbin men and the postman to say thank you for their service. He bought gifts for families at in need and was very generous.
If I can take anything away or do anything to make grandpa proud this Christmas season, then I think it would be to be more charitable, to donate to a food bank, drop off a hamper to a family in need or visit the lonely.
So this is what I will do. I’ll use my grief and channel it to serve and help others this Christmas and make grandpa proud.