Good To See You Smiling
Today I had a message that said, “Good to see you smiling”. Whilst this wasn’t in any way intended to upset or offend me (and it did not), this message did leave me thinking… um… I always smile! What is that supposed to mean?
During my life I have had some rough times and I still do. I’m unwell, fighting to get the treatment for my Adrenal Insufficiency and I’m currently preparing for a major life changing operation. These experiences are stressful and anxiety provoking and I do share both the good and negative about my health online.
With that said, I don’t share my poor health to complain and whinge or to say “Look at me I’m sick”. I am sharing my journey to raise awareness, to document my life and help others going through similar things. Each day I receive emails from people all over the world who tell me they have similar experiences. They connect with me and some ask to talk to me, others thank me for inspiring them and others say my positivity gives them the hope and strength to get through their illnesses. I think this is wonderful and it’s so great to be able to have such a ripple effect from one small blog.
So whilst many people appreciate and enjoy my writing and my experiences, some however sadly and wrongly see me as someone complaining about being sick. I get messages like, “you need to stop being so black about your illness” or “why focus on being sick, look for the good in life” or like this week, “great to see you smiling”.
The one thing I realise from this is that these people who comment in this way, they really don’t know me at all. I am not depressed or down and out. I’m happy. Yes I have difficulties and I write about it but I have blessings and wonderful experiences and I write about that too. My life is blessed. I have a beautiful child and a loving husband and I’m so so happy in that respect. We also have Yoda and Casper our beloved Bichon dogs and they bring me and my family so much joy.
So to the people who keep telling me to “pick myself up” and stop being black, down and out, might I suggest before you give me advice to actually get to know me first!
And to the lovely person who said, “nice to see you smiling”, let me say thanks, I always smile, everyday and if you were more present in my life you’d probably know this.
For so long, for many years, many people have misjudged me because they do not know me. It really used to bother me, when I collapsed as a teenager, the rumour was I was pregnant or on drugs. When I left my first husband due to abuse, I supposedly ran off with another man. When I gained weight, it was because I’m lazy and eat KFC for every meal.
You know what! I no longer give a dam about such rumours. Those who really know me will know the reality and the truth about me and know that none of the above is correct. I am who I am and I’m an amazing person and I only care what my true friends and close family members think of me.
I smile everyday and I’ll keep on smiling and being the wonderful person I am and I will not pay any attention to the superficial nonsense I sometimes here about myself which is either untrue or a load of cow poo!