I haven’t left the house in 8 days. It’s been great having no appointments, no doctors, no hospital and no visits to the store, however I feel like a Hermit crab and I don’t know whether that is good or bad.
I’ve come to realise that my life is a roller coaster of illness and poor health. I have continuous issues trying to manage my Adrenal Insufficiency, pain and chronic fatigue. I have had months of pain due to ongoing teeth issues and I’m just tired of it.
At the moment a trip to the supermarket, an appointment or an outing with the family will burn me out for days. It will take a good 3-5 days to recover and most of the time I feel that leaving the home is not worth it.
Sometimes I just go and suffer the consequences afterwards but I’ve begun to stay home more and more to reserve my energy and strength for things in the home.
I need to pace myself at home to be able to help Sylvia with everything she is going through as a tween.
It really is draining at times dealing with an emotional child who is struggling through the pressure of SATS exams, navigating the world of tween friendships, testing me and pushing the boundaries at every turn.
I blog daily, that is my “me time” and I’m doing more self care things which, whilst it uses more energy, makes me feel better about myself and ultimately helps me to relax more.
I can’t help but feeling torn in half about leaving the home. I do love to go to the supermarket to choose my own groceries and look for mark down bargains. I can order online but it’s not the same as walking around a store and enjoying something I rarely get to do.
I’m 100% happy that I have had no appointments. I do need to visit the Dentist again as I have shards of bone sticking out the roof of my mouth and it needs dealing with, but I put it off, hoping to have some time away from the Dentist and also hoping the bone issue would fix with time.
It looks like I’m going to need to get checked out so I’ll be making an appointment for this week. So annoying! I don’t want to waste my low reserves of energy seeing a Dentist but I don’t have much choice.
My next big thing that I plan to do is visit my grandmother. My grandma went to New Zealand after grandpa passed away and has been back in the UK for two weeks. As much as a journey to Yorkshire is going to absolutely do me in, I want to visit grandma on Saturday, sleep over and spend Mother’s Day with her. It will be her first Mother’s day as a widow on her own.
So that’s my goal. I’ll rest up all week and then make the trip to Yorkshire on the weekend. After visiting Grandma I will have a week to recover before we visit Blackpool Pleasure beach as part of a blog campaign. I know it’s going to be difficult for me and John will have to wheel me around in the wheelchair as there is no way I will have the strength to walk around a theme park, but it will be worth it for Sylvia.
I actually don’t have any hospital appointments for two weeks which is amazing and I’m so so pleased about that. I’m just in so much pain at the moment throughout my body and it’s really difficult. I’m aching all over.
In April I will be travelling to London. That is going to be super hard but I have agreed to a blog campaign which I need to do to help fund my medication for the coming months. Yep the NHS still won’t cover the cost of my Adrenal Pump and Cannulas etc and it is a huge cost each month.
I haven’t got the date for London yet but when I do, I will be travelling on a train, sleeping overnight to recover and then booking into a YHA for a good 2-3 days afterwards to get the strength back to return home. That’s the only way I can make the trip but it is a good paying job so I need to do it.
Sylvia has SATS mock exams this week. I’m going to do my best to get her nutritious food in the mornings to start the day out right and try and get her into bed on time each night.
My goal this week is to just get through the pain I am suffering, to cope with the muscle aches and headaches and help Sylvia the best I can in between the fatigue and exhaustion I am going through.
I’ll try and see the Dentist or I might delay it and hope my gum heals naturally but I have a feeling it’s not going to. It’s been four weeks since my tooth extraction and the pain is still bad.
Fingers crossed we can go see Grandma on the weekend. I really want to see her but I am just not looking forward to the travelling.
In August we are travelling to New Zealand to see my family. I am so excited to see my parents and siblings but at the same time I am dreading the journey and travel and really not looking forward to how unwell I may get.
If I have to be honest, I would rather, just stay home in my bed and not go anywhere so I can have the strength to do laundry, cook, eat, shower and spend time with my family. However even all those tasks I struggle with.
I am sleeping so much and resting a lot. I am blogging, ( That is keeping me sane) but I do feel like a hermit at the moment and to be honest as much as it makes me feel sad I also quite like it.