Moving on from a controlling relationship is never easy, but there are plenty of steps you can take to make getting over someone less difficult. Read on to find out more…
You may have been told that simply ‘moving on’ is the most important thing to do after you’ve ended a relationship. Unfortunately, knowing how to get over someone and move on is never that simple, particularly if you were in a long-term relationship with your former partner.
Things can become even more complicated if you found yourself in a controlling relationship. Your former partner may have restricted your independence, manipulated your emotions, or even subjected you to physical or verbal abuse. If you’ve been trapped in a toxic environment, you may even be considering seeking compensation for PTSD.
Knowing how to get over someone who has had a hold over your life is a complicated process, for sure. So, what exactly should you do? To answer that question and more, here are my pointers for moving on after being in a controlling relationship.
How Do I Know if I Was in a Controlling Relationship?
It’s not always straightforward to recognise if you were in a controlling relationship with your former partner. There’s even a chance you may not have been able to tell at all.
That being said, there a number of key signs that indicate whether your former partner was exhibiting controlling behaviours during your time together. Those can include but are not limited to:
- Checking your phone
- Monitoring where you are
- Restricting your contact with others
- Preventing you from going out
- Making decisions on your behalf (e.g. finances)
- Making verbal insults
- Emotionally manipulating you
Clearly, not all signs of a controlling relationship are as obvious as others, which makes the prospect of moving on from your partner a little more complicated. Everyone’s personal situation is bound to present its own unique challenges. But, if you can recognise what it was that made your relationship a controlling one, knowing how to get over someone can be made that little bit easier.
What Are the Effects of Being in a Controlling Relationship?
If you’ve been in a controlling relationship, what sort of effects can you expect to experience in your day-to-day life? Well, the effects are wide-ranging and dependent on what sort of relationship you had with your former partner.
Moving on from this sort of toxic relationship can present major challenges to your physical and mental health. A controlling relationship may:
- Impact your ability to trust others;
- Leave you with low self-esteem;
- and play a negative role in any future relationships you may have.
To add insult to injury, you may even suffer from issues such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome, anxiety and stress. What’s important is appreciating that these experiences are completely normal. Remember, moving on from any relationship is bound to be traumatic, let alone a controlling one.
5 Top Tips for Moving on After a Controlling Relationship
So, if you know what could happen after moving on from a controlling relationship, what steps can you take to make getting over someone that much easier? Here are my 5 top tips for doing just that…
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Reach Out to Your Loved Ones
After ending a controlling relationship, you are bound to be in a vulnerable position. That’s why, in situations like this, your loved ones will be able to provide you with all the love and positivity you need.
Remember, there is no shame in asking for a little bit of support if you’re finding moving on to be more difficult than you anticipated. If you need advice, a distraction, or even a shoulder to cry on, your loved ones will always be willing to give you the level of support you need. They are bound to have their own understanding of how to get over someone, so don’t hesitate to pick up the phone.
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Approach a Support Group
But why stop there? There are plenty of support groups around who you can talk to about your experiences and offer tailored advice to your personal circumstances.
In fact, organisations such as RISE and ManKind offer support to support to individuals who may have been left to cope after being in a controlling relationship. You’ll get the chance to speak to trained councillors, as well as others who may be in a similar situation to yourself.
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Take Time for Yourself
If you’ve been trapped in a controlling or manipulative environment, you may have lost sight of what you enjoy in life. You may have hobbies that you haven’t been able to keep up with, friends you haven’t been able to see, or even professional ambitions you have struggled to pursue.
Looking out for yourself isn’t something you should be ashamed of doing. By all means, steer your life back in the direction that you want it to be heading in. That’s something everyone wants to be in control of, right?
- Keep up a Routine
You’ll no doubt be feeling out of step if you have recently ended a relationship, so regaining some normalcy to your life is crucial. Slipping into a regular routine which involves plenty of sleep, exercise, and self-fulfilment can go a long way when you are moving on.
A well-maintained routine is one of the best ways of improving your mental wellbeing,and that is crucial to help you realise that there are brighter days ahead of you.
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Appreciate You’ll Have Mixed Feelings
It’s natural to be having second thoughts about moving on. You may still see something within your partner which attracted you to them in the first place, or they may have adjusted their behaviour after you decided to bring things to an end.
It’s important not to bury these sorts of emotions. They are perfectly natural, and experiencing them doesn’t make you ‘weak’ in anyway. But, if you are able to anticipate these emotions and recognise why you might be feeling them, you are actually more likely to stick to your original plan.
Have you Been in a Controlling Relationship?
If you’ve recently left a controlling relationship, hopefully this blog has given you an insight into the steps you can take to make sure you’re able to move on with your life. Trust me – a much brighter future is on the horizon.
Remember, as mentioned previously, there are plenty of support groups out there to help you cope. Leaning on other people who have been through something similar, or even just your family and friends, could be a real lifesaver.
If you’re still left wandering how to get over someone after being in a controlling relationship, then feel free to leave a comment below. This way, we can create a discussion and hopefully help one another move on, together! Thank you for reading, and I hope this has helped you, in some way, shape, or form.
