Beauty Begins the Moment You Decide to Love Yourself

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Growing up I was taught to love myself. I was always a little bigger than my sister. It didn’t bother me. We still fitted into each other’s clothes and I remember adults telling me it was just puppy fat. I grew into a young woman and was a gorgeous and healthy size 14.

beauty quote

I was happy as a size 14. I was not as skinny as the popular A1 girls at school but I had muscle and was toned and fit for playing football, the sport of my choice. I kept fit and did my best to look good. Looking back I realise how gorgeous I was as a teenager. I was beautiful, but I didn’t feel it and I didn’t realise it. I thought I was fat.

As an adult, I grew in weight. I married and was unhappy. I became a size 18. I felt disgusting. I felt overweight and gross. I lost my self-esteem which worsened as I attempted to find clothes that would fit my now overweight body.

I managed to lose weight only to put it back on with pregnancy and motherhood. I did yo-yo in weight from month to month and year to year between a size 16 and 20. When I lost weight I felt good about myself. When I gained weight I felt miserable and unhappy.

It wasn’t until I developed Adrenal Insufficiency and went on daily steroids that I went massive and I mean massive. I ended up a size 24 to 26 and weighing in at my largest at 21.7 stone. I felt miserable and so unhappy and I tried to lose weight but it was very difficult.

Being overweight again lead me to feel ugly, fat and disgusting. I was not happy and so I attempted to lose weight. It really was not easy but in 2014 I went on a calorie-counting diet for a year. I managed to lose 15 pounds and then could not lose anymore. Eventually, after a year and a half having passed all criteria, I had a Gastric Bypass.

From my heaviest to now, six months after gastric bypass I have lost a total of 6 stone. I’ve been plateaued for 7 weeks now and despite following all the rules I have been given, I am not losing weight anymore.

So do I feel miserable because I’m stuck at a size 18? Should I feel ugly and fat and disgusting? The answer is no! I decided no matter what size I am I will always be beautiful because true beauty is on the inside.

I have a daughter and I want her to grow up knowing that weight and size do not determine self-worth. It’s good to be healthy and make healthy choices and I will keep trying to lose more weight and reduce my BMI further but I won’t let my size make me unhappy and miserable. I won’t allow the messages of society, those I see in the magazines and on the billboards determine how much I love myself.

I am much more than weight. I am kind and loving. I am caring and talented. I have a heart of gold and do my best to help those around me. I am a loving mother and wife and that is what I class a true beauty.

True beauty is on the inside, in the heart and I am determined to teach this to my daughter, that she is beautiful deep down and no matter how her body changes or grows, this won’t determine who she is or how much worth she has.

And with that I’ll end with this quote:

love yourself

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  1. It made me sad reading how to felt when you were bigger but I totally get it. I think a lot of women do. It is so important to show our daughters that it’s how we feel on the inside that matters. Your daughter is beautiful, as are you x

    1. Thanks Nicola. It is tough and hard especially when the world can be cruel to overweight people and the messages we see on tv and in magazines don’t help. We are beautiful no matter what shape or size.

  2. I absolutely love your quote and it’s so true. It really matters how we feel about ourselves. This feeling gets reflected and projected out and effects how others react and perceive us, including the tiddlers. So if you don’t feel positive it can just keep going round and round in circles. I completely get the whole weight thing, having gained over the years too. But there is no reason why we shouldn’t feel beautiful no matter what. Love this post. #CandidCuddles xx

  3. Oh Ange thank you for sharing this. Goodness I don’t know where to start! There are so many issues I’d love to chat about over a cup of tea… That last bit in particular..the funny thing is I was actually going to write something about this this week but as somebody who to be honest has been conventionally ‘slim’ for the last 20 years, I wondered how to write about this topic without being misinterpreted and I left in the end. Your final words about being loving and caring and having many positive qualities beyond the weight thing have got me thinking again. Thanks to you, I may have to write that post. See? You’re so inspring! Thanks so much for joining us at #candidcuddles lovely Ange x

    1. Thanks prabs! It’s true… I think it can be an issue no matter how big or small we are and it’s something that takes time to overcome and I’m still struggling with it but it’s important for us to grow to love ourselves more… Which I think is a process and takes time!

  4. This quote is so true! I read one the other day that was something like ‘I wish I was as thin as I was the first time I thought I was fat’ and it really hit me how long I’ve spent obsessed with my weight, and how I keep thinking life will be better when I’m thinner… when the real issue for me has always been a lack of confidence. I mean, yeah, I’d like to lose weight, but it shouldn’t stop me liking who I am. Because if I don’t do that, I could end up back at one of those earlier weights still miserable and too busy wishing for something more to enjoy it. x #candidcuddles

  5. Your quote is so true and we would all be wise to tell ourselves it regularly. Me for one. I’ve always had a bad relationship with my weight and I’m very silly because I don’t need to. I’m a size 12 (sometimes 10) which is in no way anything to be concerned about. But sadly when it comes to things like this there are always demons. Demons that have been there since school when I used to compare myself to the thinner girls and like you, looking back on my schools photos I have no idea what I was thinking. Thank you for sharing an inspiring quote. I think I might print it off & stick it to my mirror! #candidcuddles

    1. I totally understand. It’s not an easy thing and yes..when i see myself as a teenager I wonder why on earth I thought I was fat or anything other than beautiful as I was gorgeous.

  6. Such a beautiful post and so true. The quote is lovely. It’s something I need to learn myself if I’m honest. I need to learn it to make sure my daughter doesn’t end up feeling like I do x

    1. That exactly how I feel. For me I’m getting there but I want Sylvia to be different. More confident and happy with herself from the start.

  7. First off Ang, congrats on your weight loss! That is something to be really proud of! You were & always will be beautiful because you are beautiful on the inside. I adore this quote & I think it’s something that’s really important for people right now – a great message to spread! Thank you for sharing your quote with us at #candidcuddles xx

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