All My Friends Are Having Babies – Featuring aden + anais -Disney Baby Blanket
When I was eighteen the doctor told me I would most likely never have children. She came to this conclusion based upon my health, I had irregular periods and a diagnosis of PCOS, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Despite this conclusion, I chose not to accept it. My dream was to become a mother one day and I wasn’t going to let one doctor get in my way. Besides, I told myself, the worst-case scenario is I’d have to adopt. Either way, I had every intention of becoming a mother.
Eventually I was married. I tried to get pregnant, I was only 21, yet nothing happened. My husband and I saw a specialist and I was told I had infertility. I didn’t give up. Life threw some curve balls my way and I ended up divorced and then married to another man in my late 20’s. Again I had fertility problems and we decided to adopt.
Tevita and I (That’s the name of my second husband) planned to adopt his cousin, a 2 year old named Lisa. We started the process and filed applications with immigration. Yet things did not go as planned. Lisa caught pneumonia and died. Her mother then died the following year. I decided to give it one last shot and see a fertility specialist.
Having Iui Fertility Treatment
I was asked to lose weight and I lost a lot. I got down to 80kg and was offered IUI, Inter Uterine Insemination after my own eggs were stimulated with daily injections. I was one of the lucky ones. After many years of wanting to become a Mother, my egg fertilised with scientific assistance and I became pregnant. Eventually my sweetheart Sylvia was born and I became the Mother I had always wanted to be.
The dream was to have a number of kids, I hoped for a large family and my hopes and wishes were that I could fall pregnant again in the future and give my child siblings. Sadly I had to leave my marriage when Sylvia was just a baby. I took out a protection order and eventually migrated home to the UK after my divorce came through.
As a single mother I hoped that one day I’d meet a loving man and father for my daughter and I hoped to have a larger family, however I settled into my role as a single mother and accepted life as it is.
Falling in Love Again
Little did I know I would meet the man of my dreams – my current husband John and fall in love. However when Sylvia was five, I married (this time a fantastic guy) and we had dreams and plans. We hoped to grow our little family of three, however another curve ball came. I collapsed and was diagnosed with Adrenal Insufficiency not long after our Wedding, literally within a few weeks.
I spent a few years using a wheelchair and was bed bound and housebound a lot of the time. Eventually I got treatment for my condition, private treatment and I got my health to a level where my Endocrinologist felt I was healthy enough to have another child. The only problem was I far too overweight to get assistance.
My steroid medication caused me to balloon in weight and that meant I could not get fertility assistance even if I went private.
So we attempted to adopt. John and I went through the process. We attended meetings, had interviews, assessments and so forth, however the social worker who interviewed said we could not apply to adopt until we had a three bedroom home.
We worked hard for a year to find a more suitable home and once we had moved we reapplied. This time we were told my health was a concern. Despite people with disabilities and health issues adopting, the social worker did not feel we were suited to adopt and our efforts turned to dust.
Losing Weight to Have a Baby
And so I tried something else. I had a gastric bypass. Surely this would help me to lose the weight and get back down to that 80kg bracket required for fertility treatment. I was 130kg and it took a few years but I went through the process, jumped through the hoops and had the life changing operation. I lost weight in the first 2-3 months but then my weight loss stopped.
As soon as I could eat solid food again, my weight began to come back and despite now having Iron deficiency issues and vitamin absorption problems, I have found myself back where I started. I’m now 36 years old and once again weighing 130kg which is 21 stone.
I am overweight, infertile, unwell and unable to have another child. HOWEVER – I am a mother. I have a beautiful daughter Sylvia and I am so grateful. This doesn’t stop me from wishing I had more kids but I am slowly coming to accept that this is the life I have and that maybe one child is all I will ever have.
That is okay. It’s disappointing of course and heartbreaking at times but I decided, if I only have one child then I will do all I can to give her the best life she can have. That is my current goal.
I’ve given up trying to have more children, I’m not going to lose enough weight for treatment and despite knowing I am a great mother and knowing we are great parents, the decision of suitability is not up to me.
So my focus now is to grow my blog, build a career and raise my only child the best I can. I’ll give Sylvia the best of me and help her to get a good education.
So how do I feel when all my friends are having babies?
That’s right, a lot of my friends are pregnant or have been having babies over the past 10 years whilst I have wanted to have babies and been unable to.
My sister has six children and each time she fell pregnant, I was happy for her. I was genuinely excited and it’s been fantastic to become an aunty over and over again. My friends who had their first child when I had Sylvia over ten years ago, have gone on to have more kids and many have completed their families.
A New Baby Is Special
I’ve watched bloggers and colleagues become pregnant, have children, become pregnant again and have more kids. I’ve seen friends have twins and friends adopt, attended baby blessings and baby showers and the baby announcements never do end.
I have friends who are pregnant and having kids for the first time. But I am happy for them. Of course, I feel sad, and have my moments when I wish I could have had a second child or even a third but that doesn’t stop me being happy for my friends.
The good news is I’m not bitter and twisted but I delight in seeing my friends become Mothers. Being a mother is a wonderful thing and motherhood is so precious.
In fact, one thing I do love to do is to give lovely gifts to my friends, especially those who are having babies for the first time.
In fact, I am sometimes offered items to review on The Inspiration Edit which are perfect for new babies and for expectant mothers and when the opportunity came to receive a beautiful blanket from aden + anais I couldn’t say no. I’ve had products from this store before and I know just how good quality they are.
A Disney Mickey Mouse Baby Blanket
I was given the opportunity to pick out a gorgeous new baby blanket from aden + anais. I have a friend who is expecting her first child and so I knew a generously sized baby blanket made from cotton muslin would make a great gift for my friend’s baby shower.
I chose the Disney themed 90th Anniversary of Mickey blanket. This is gorgeous, super soft and measures 120 by 120cm.
I chose this particular blanket, as it has metallic gold and black Mickey mouse heads on one side and a lovely Mickey Mouse pattern on the other. This blanket is unisex and would be great for a baby boy or a baby girl so it’s ideal as a baby gift especially when you’re not sure of the gender of the child. This is a gorgeous baby gift and retails for £59.95.
Of course when this beautiful blanket arrived my daughter thought it looked lovely but she was just as excited as I am to gift this to our dear friend who is having her first child in the coming months.
I really am excited for my friend and to be honest, despite my own challenges, watching my friends become pregnant, have babies and seeing their joy and excitement really does make me happy.
I am sad I haven’t had more children and my secret collection of baby items which I collected over the years has now been donated and gifted to friends in need.
Yes it stings a little, however I am coming to accept how things are and when my friend has her sweet little baby, I look forward to seeing him or her wrapped up in their cute aden and anais blanket. Even more, I look forward to having cuddles and sharing in the excitement of my friend having her first child.
-The aden + anais blanket was gifted. –
About Angela Milnes
Angela Milnes is a Qualified Early Years Teacher who has specialised in Preschool and Kindergarten teaching. She has a wealth of experience teaching young children and is passionate about kids crafts and having fun as a family. Angela has also taught cooking skills and loves to share both family recipes and easy instant pot recipes here on The Inspiration Edit. Follow her on Pinterest!