To The School Teacher Who Abused Me When I Was a Child

To The School Teacher Who Abused Me When I Was a Child

Child Abuse

A letter to the teacher who abused me. I remember your name, I remember your face. The way, you stood at the front of assembly each week with your pointy nose and peering eyes. You were my teacher for one year. You taught me about the European Economic Community. This was the first acronym I ever learnt. I remember drawing all the flags and colouring them in my book. I was only 8 but I found the topic fascinating. I really did. You wrote on the blackboard as the class copied your text word for word. You had buck teeth and I kind of felt sorry for you when the children in the playground called you a horse.

I thought you were a good teacher. You taught religion, the story of Noah’s Ark, parables of the good Samaritan. You really believed this, you were a devout Christian and so was I. I grew up in a religious home and thought it was great that my school teacher was sharing the stories of Jesus with my class.

You put hymns on the overhead projector each week and we sung as you played the piano. You were a talented teacher. We sung love is something if you give it away, Cross over the road my friend and Fairest Lord Jesus. You had the whole school singing songs of praise. You often taught parables and stories with morals. You appeared passionate about this.

I remember one story in particular:

A builder was instructed by his boss to build a house. He was given plenty of money and left to go about his job. Instead of using the best bricks and the best wood, the builder chose the cheapest materials. He built a house on the cheap and pocketed the money. The house though beautiful on the outside was deep down very poor quality. When reporting the completion of the house to his employer, the boss handed the Key back to the builder and said, this is a gift for you. The builder then realised his mistake. He had built a house for himself, yet it was not the type of home it could have been.

I remember you sharing this story. It was real food for thought. It had a good moral. You were teaching everyone the importance of being honest. The important of doing an honest days work and that It’s important to always do your best and be true to yourself.

I never forgot the story you told. I don’t think I ever will.

I also never forgot the time you abused me in your office. Do you remember? I do.

I don’t know why I never told anyone what you did to me. I must have been too frightened. You certainly taught me a lot that day.

You taught me that I was not important. You taught me that my feelings did not matter. You taught me to listen to authority and blindly obey. You taught me to accept abuse from men stronger and more powerful than me. You ingrained into me a feeling of fear, you taught me to do what I was told when I was told. The day you abused me you took something from me, you destroyed my self-worth and confidence.

It’s been 25 years. If you are alive you’ll be an old man now, maybe your in an old people’s home or living with your family. You could be dead, I really do not care. I’ve finally overcome my abusive past. Your no longer in my thoughts. Your no longer in my nightmares. I see you for what you truly are, a hypocrite and an abuser.

It took a long time but I finally learnt that men like you teach false truths. I’ve learnt to stand up to abusive and controlling men. I won’t let them or you affect my life anymore. I won’t accept lies because I am important. My feelings do matter and I am of great worth.

You were not a true teacher, you were a Hypocrite.

I know it and now the whole world knows it.

I am also now a qualified teacher. I went to University and graduated and I write a blog called The Inspiration Edit. I have a voice a strong voice! In the coming weeks and months and years, I plan to speak out against abuse.

I’m going to speak out against men like you and teach women that they are of worth, that they are of infinite worth and I plan to teach women to recognise the not so subtle signs of power and control. I’m going to stand up to men like you.

You had no right to do what you did to me and now I’ve taken the power back. I’m now free. You however are not. How can you be? You will always be weighed down knowing that you abused a child, a little 8-year-old girl and from that knowledge you will never be free.

Angela x

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104 Comments

  1. January 11, 2016 / 1:13 am

    This is a very powerful post Angela. People like that are evil plain and simple. Im glad you have taken back control of your life from those type of people. #Anythinggoes

    • January 11, 2016 / 1:28 am

      Thanks Tracey. I Tried dealing with in in another way and because of the time frame the council did not want to know. Instead I have written this letter and although it is a thing of the past. I did feel like writing this and just having the last word on the matter. 🙂

  2. Michelle
    January 11, 2016 / 2:31 am

    That was an amazing piece of writing and very brave of you to write about. From one survivor to another, I applaud you, my friend and you have my total support in your endeavors to reach out to others and teach them that they are worthy. It took a long time for me as well to realize that I am a valuable human being and it took me a long time to move past it and to forgive but now that I have accomplished these things, I am never looking back! Thank you for sharing this Angela! #anythinggoes

    • January 11, 2016 / 2:33 am

      Your most welcome Michelle. I’m glad you enjoyed reading this post and found it valuable. Angela x

  3. Elizabeth O.
    January 11, 2016 / 6:28 am

    That’s such a powerful post. I admire you for finally freeing yourself in the past. All is gone now, and you are stronger than ever. I hope you continue to be this way.

    • January 11, 2016 / 6:49 am

      Thanks so much. Sometimes writing posts like this can be very liberating and can this is my way of taking the power back. 🙂

  4. January 11, 2016 / 8:33 am

    God what a disgusting man teaching parables about Christianity to act as a masque so he can target other vulnerable women. It is men like this that deserve to pay for what they have done and I am not a violent person but I believe that karma is a bitch and that bitch is beautiful. I was abused by my stepmother but even I cannot fathom what you have been through because everyone’s experience with abuse is unique . I am so proud of you for sharing your story.

    • January 11, 2016 / 9:05 pm

      Yes he was a disgusting man and a power tripper and I think hiding behind christian values did confuse me a little. I know a number of teachers lost their jobs a few years after I left the school, so i’m hoping he got caught out.

  5. January 11, 2016 / 9:15 am

    Wow, such a moving post. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I am so glad you are reclaiming your life and speaking out against this man. Nobody deserves to be abused and have their life taken from them before it even starts. Sending you love, positivity and happiness.

    • January 11, 2016 / 9:02 pm

      Yes, I will speak out and stand up to him wherever he is.

  6. Eileen
    January 11, 2016 / 9:25 am

    Wow, this is incredible and I applaud you for your candor.

    • January 11, 2016 / 8:59 pm

      Thanks. I’m pleased you think so.

  7. Nicole Escat
    January 11, 2016 / 9:28 am

    Such a powerful post, future would be great whether your past was bad. You’re so brave woman.

    • January 11, 2016 / 8:58 pm

      Thankyou. The future is bright. I have a wonderful life and although it was rough earlier on things are looking up and i’ve never been happier.

  8. January 11, 2016 / 10:43 am

    A brave and powerful post. And it may just help a little girl who has been abused recently find the strength and courage to speak out. So sorry that teacher did that to you, but glad you have not let it define you.

    • January 11, 2016 / 8:31 pm

      I hope it does help someone and and speaking out is something I hope to do more of in the coming months.

  9. January 11, 2016 / 10:51 am

    Thank you for sharing such a personal post.. you have so much courage and i really admire that… Im pleased you’ve been able to be free of your hurtful past ..

    • January 11, 2016 / 6:55 pm

      Your welcome. I hope this post really does help others who may have been affected by child abuse.

  10. January 11, 2016 / 10:51 am

    Sometimes writing posts like this can be really good for the soul. Really helps get things out and explain how you feel. Really sorry this happened to you but I’m pleased your taking back control and being strong x

    • January 11, 2016 / 8:28 pm

      This was a great piece for me and It did feel freeing to post it Thanks.

  11. January 11, 2016 / 11:02 am

    I hope this post helped you as mine did me, sometimes giving something so controling of your life a space gives you the space you needed.
    Much love, it took me many years but I am to at peace with what happened xxx

    • January 11, 2016 / 8:26 pm

      Yes, I totally agree, there is something wonderful about having a space online to write how i feel and share with others.

  12. January 11, 2016 / 11:56 am

    Thank you so so much for sharing. Your post will absolutely help someone else find the strength to speak up it will also be an inspiration to others who may not yet be free. Well done #AnythingGoes

    • January 11, 2016 / 8:25 pm

      Hopefully this will help someone out there needing to find strength to overcome nasty experiences.

  13. Kerri
    January 11, 2016 / 12:37 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so sorry to hear that you were treated that way especially by a teacher.

    • January 11, 2016 / 8:13 pm

      Thanks. it’s sad that it happened and I hope it didn’t happen to anyone else at the school.

  14. victoria
    January 11, 2016 / 12:41 pm

    You’re so brave to share this with us. This is absolutely a powerful post and I’m so glad you share your story with us.

    • January 11, 2016 / 8:11 pm

      Thanks Victoria! So many people are loving my post. It really is a great compliment.

  15. January 11, 2016 / 1:09 pm

    I am so sorry to be reading this, but also so proud you are able to stand up to your past and try to help others. This is an amazingly written post, well done you xx

    • January 11, 2016 / 7:57 pm

      Thanks. It’s great to hear all the positive response to my post. 🙂 Angela

    • January 11, 2016 / 7:56 pm

      Thankyou so much. I appreciate the lovely comment.

  16. January 11, 2016 / 2:55 pm

    i completely agree that writing clarifies and I hope that along with that you will heal even further from the experience. Namaste

    • January 11, 2016 / 7:45 pm

      Thanks. I hope this helps someone else out to see that abusers don’t have to have power over us forever!

  17. January 11, 2016 / 3:14 pm

    Aw Angela, I feel so proud of you for sharing this. I am so glad that you are strong and have not let this control your life, I admire you and the fact that you are doing something positive from the horrible experence. xxxx

    • January 11, 2016 / 7:44 pm

      Thanks. i’m pleased i shared it too and I hope it encourages a young girl to speak out and tell someone because i was too scared and never did.

  18. January 11, 2016 / 5:14 pm

    A powerful post. I admire you for talking out about abuse its a topic that people need to be made more aware on. It’s good that you are able to free yourself from the past.

    • January 11, 2016 / 7:25 pm

      Thanks Joanna. I agree its a good idea to speak out and raise awareness about child abuse. It’s not okay!

  19. January 11, 2016 / 8:24 pm

    I am so sorry this happened to you. You hear so many horror stories in the papers, but to hear it straight from a blogger, it really makes it more real. You are so strong and amazing to have made something of your life and to write this, I applaud you. This should not have happened to anyone, but it did, and you have had the last say now x

    • January 11, 2016 / 8:55 pm

      I sure have had the last say. Thats how i feel! 🙂

  20. January 11, 2016 / 9:41 pm

    Angela, thank you so much for sharing this beautifully written personal post. I can’t imagine that this was an easy experience to put in words. But your experience is so important for others to read. I am truly inspired by your journey and your willingness to use your voice and your amazing platform to share with people who may have similar experiences to you. Thank you for being a strong and vocal survivor.

    • January 11, 2016 / 9:58 pm

      Thanks Sola. I’m glad I;ve found writing and blogging and it’s a perfect platform for me to speak out against child abuse and stand up for the things i believe. I love this blogging journey and the peace and happiness it brings to my life.

  21. January 11, 2016 / 9:48 pm

    Your description of his perfect teacher facade contrasting with his abusive secrets makes me feel sick to the core. You are strong and I sincerely hope that others will not have to go through what you went through. I hope that we will be able to teach our children to speak out about abuse so that we can do something about it. Good luck with your campaign. I will support you all the way. #AnythingGoes

    • January 11, 2016 / 10:05 pm

      Yes, Thats what we need to do…tell our kids that no matter what happens in life they can always tell us everything. thanks Angela x

  22. January 11, 2016 / 9:57 pm

    What a brave, honest post. You are so strong – and an incredible inspiration. I am sure this post will help many, Kaz x

    • January 12, 2016 / 12:17 am

      Thanks Kaz. I hope to inspire others and hope this can help someone else to overcome experiences which should never happen.

  23. January 11, 2016 / 10:37 pm

    I’m so sorry you had to go through this, you’re so brave for speaking out about it x

    • January 12, 2016 / 12:16 am

      Thanks. It is so important to speak out and I’m finally in a place I can do this.

  24. January 12, 2016 / 12:21 am

    Wow what a powerful post. You’ve been so brave all this time. You are such a strong person and have dealt with this with great dignity. You’ll make a fab advocate against abuse in the future when you are ready x

    • January 12, 2016 / 12:23 am

      Thanks Kerry. I hope so. I hope to stand up against this and do what I can to help others. Angela x

  25. January 12, 2016 / 12:37 am

    Such a powerful post and so beautifully written. It’s abhorrent to think that someone would abuse their power in that way but I know that it happens all the time and the more it’s made public the better.

    • January 12, 2016 / 12:44 am

      I agree Cliona. I have the ability to stand up and speak and I will. People do abuse children and speaking out will help to do something about it!

  26. January 12, 2016 / 1:08 am

    Thanks for sharing your story.. I think its very important to talk about it and inspire others to speak up, stand up against abuse

    • January 12, 2016 / 1:52 am

      Thanks so much. I totally agree. The more we talk about these expereiences the better.

  27. Rosey
    January 12, 2016 / 2:21 am

    My son is 8, an age so full of innocence and complete trust. I can’t even imagine. I’m very sorry you had to endure it.

    • January 12, 2016 / 10:15 am

      Yes I’d hate for this to happen to any 8 year old in todays world! It’s so wrong!

  28. January 12, 2016 / 3:58 am

    What a terrible thing to happen. I am glad you finally freed yourself from the past.

  29. January 12, 2016 / 4:12 am

    you gave this post energy and voice to so many, standing up aftel these years its never tolate and I hope that is what you shared for others as well

    • January 12, 2016 / 10:06 am

      Thanks. I was worried as I wasn;t sure how it would be received but i think standing up for me is something I hope to do more of in the future!

  30. CourtneyLynne
    January 12, 2016 / 4:40 am

    Omg what a great and powerful post! I’m sorry you had to deal with an idiot like that :-/

    • January 12, 2016 / 10:07 am

      Thanks. I’m glad you found it powerful!

  31. January 12, 2016 / 7:27 am

    That anyone can do this to a child yet alone a teacher a person of responsibility in a position of great trust is totally unthinkable. Some people are just pure evil! I really admire your strength Angela! Keep inspiring others x

    • January 12, 2016 / 10:09 am

      There are many good people in society and then there are simply some rotten apples!

  32. January 12, 2016 / 8:07 am

    Wow. You poor Thing and well done for sharing this story. It’ll help others, women AND men, to speak out and be brave.

    • January 12, 2016 / 10:10 am

      Thank you. I no longer see myself as a victim but as a survivor and I hope being strong about the past can help someone else to be too!

  33. January 12, 2016 / 9:40 am

    Wow Angela, such a strong post. I can’t even imagine how you feel having put this into words but you’re doing an amazing thing by doing so!!

    • January 12, 2016 / 10:14 am

      It feels good to write this and get these words out! 🙂

  34. January 12, 2016 / 10:19 am

    I’m so sorry this happened to you, Angela. And by a teacher who you trusted, believed in & respected. It’s awful that the abuse had such a terrible effect on your life. It’s wonderful that you are sharing this & that you have taken your power back. x

    • January 12, 2016 / 10:34 am

      Thanks. I think this was the first of many experiences of abuse I suffered in my life and I hope to stand up against it as an adult who has overcome these experiences.

  35. Louise
    January 12, 2016 / 9:51 am

    Oh Angela, I am so sorry to hear that you had to go through this as a child. No one should have to go through that.xxx

    • January 12, 2016 / 10:13 am

      No chid should which is why I’m speaking out now as an adult!

  36. January 12, 2016 / 1:31 pm

    You seem to be in a really good place now, and definitely have a strong positive voice compared with what you’ve been through in your life. Good for you

    • January 12, 2016 / 7:40 pm

      Thanks Emma. I shall keep on being positive and using my voice to speak out.

  37. January 12, 2016 / 3:13 pm

    This is an incredible post. You are a really strong person (and as an aside, a beautiful writer). I have to say, this really hit home with me due to an experience I apparently went through as a much younger child than you were. I am kind of thankful that as I was so young, I cannot really remember it, but the knowledge still left me angry and scared at times. People can be sick and evil and it is for us as victims to rise above their disgustingly low behaviour and shout “sod you… you didn’t ruin me. I am happy and I am a survivor”.

    • January 12, 2016 / 7:38 pm

      Thanks. I’m so excited t have discovered my talent. Writing and I hope to do something amazing with this in the coming months.

  38. January 12, 2016 / 5:33 pm

    I am so sorry to hear about your experiences with this teacher. It must have been tough and no one has the right to ever make other feel inferior or weak or not important, not even those who have “power”. I hope your story inspires a lot of us to speak up, stand up, and fight for ourselves.

    • January 12, 2016 / 6:54 pm

      Me too! I hope this inspires people to stand up and speak out.

  39. January 12, 2016 / 10:43 pm

    Such an awful thing for anybody to experience – I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I’m glad you can now see this man for what he really is/was. A manipulative scumbag. xx

    • January 13, 2016 / 12:19 am

      Yes child abuse is not nice whatever the type and yes he was a manipulative scumbag. I agree

  40. January 13, 2016 / 9:02 am

    What an honest, moving post. Strength to you. I’m so glad you can see the future without the past taking over. You must be very proud.

    • January 13, 2016 / 10:02 am

      Thanks so much. 🙂 ANGELA

  41. January 13, 2016 / 9:11 am

    Such a brave post. It must have taken a lot of courage to write this. How anyone could treat a child like this is disgusting. It makes me feel sick. And I hate to think of other children in a similar position. Writing posts like this is so important. It highlights a problem that still exists. We can’t bury our heads in the sand. Thanks for sharing. Hugs Lucy xxxx

    • January 13, 2016 / 10:02 am

      Thankyou Mrs H. i wasn’t sure how it would be received but I agree that these issues need to be shared.

  42. January 13, 2016 / 1:19 pm

    Congratulations on being brave and strong enough to post this. Hopefully it will help others who’ve had the same terrible experience know they’re not the only ones and it is possible to make it though. It makes me so angry that people are able to use their positions to abuse others and get away with it.

    • January 13, 2016 / 11:56 pm

      Thanks mrs Tubbs!

  43. January 13, 2016 / 3:40 pm

    This must have taken guts to write but is so strong! Good for you. I can’t imagine what you must have been through – awful but you can’t change the past – just be strong and move forward. You have achieved loads and will not have let him stop you. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst xx

    • January 13, 2016 / 8:08 pm

      Thanks so much. I’m glad everyone is saying this. I guess it is a good piece of writing and I;m please about that.

  44. January 13, 2016 / 7:10 pm

    Oh my. what a thing to keep away for so long. Its a beautifully written piece that should be in a website called womenforone. Much love and strength to you!

    • January 13, 2016 / 7:56 pm

      Oh thanks. I’ll take a look. ANgela

  45. January 13, 2016 / 7:42 pm

    Wow – this is so powerful. Well done you for standing up and speaking about it – I’m so sorry you had to go through something like that. #bestandworst

    • January 13, 2016 / 8:04 pm

      Thanks, It is great that I can write about this. It feels quite refreshing.

  46. January 13, 2016 / 10:58 pm

    What a powerful, moving and inspiring post! I am so sorry that this happened to you. No child should ever have to go through what you did. You have indeed taken the power back! Thanks for sharing your moving story with #abitofeverything

    • January 13, 2016 / 11:31 pm

      Thanks. It’s great to share this and hopefully help someone else going through similar experiences to see their is light at the end of the tunnel.

  47. January 14, 2016 / 5:17 pm

    I am so very sorry to what happened lovely. So glad you have control back and feel free lovely. xxx

    • January 14, 2016 / 10:56 pm

      Thanks. I’m free now and hope to help others.

  48. January 14, 2016 / 8:19 pm

    What an awful thing to have happened to you Angela. I’m so glad you’ve written this post and taken back your power. You will be brilliant at empowering women who have suffered this kind of abuse

    • January 14, 2016 / 10:50 pm

      Yes it was at the time and for a long time after in my dreams/nightmares even as an adult but not anymore.

  49. March 23, 2016 / 12:19 pm

    Beautiful and powerful writing about a horrifying event. Thank you.

  50. July 15, 2016 / 2:51 pm

    You are such a brave and strong woman. Dealing with abuse is so hard and so much more common that we actually think. It’s a horrible experience but you’ve manage to overcome it and you will inspire so many others to come forward and do the same. A beautifully written post. Thank you for sharing.

    • July 16, 2016 / 1:54 pm

      Thanks so much. It was horrible but yes speaking out is so important!

  51. September 26, 2016 / 11:06 pm

    Well done on setting yourself free. This post is the best thing I have read today. Good luck in the future! x

    • September 26, 2016 / 11:14 pm

      Oh thanks. I’m glad you enjoyed this 🙂

  52. December 17, 2016 / 2:56 pm

    I’m so happy that you have found strength in life despite this scum! xx Just reading about people like this makes me rage!

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