Parenting with Respect Develops Potential

Parenting with Respect Develops Potential

This week I’ve had a lot of health related posts on the blog. I have to be honest, Ive been quite unwell and unable to do anything really fun with my daughter. We didn’t cook anything. We didn’t play games. I hardly took any pictures, didn’t make any little movies, no dancing, no real fun. I’ve just been at my worst and sadly it meant I couldn’t so these things.

The one thing I did do however was allow my daughter, after eating her tea and getting into her PJ’s to come and lay with me on the bed. We simply talked about her day and then Sylvia watched cartoons and mini movies on the ipad. She even fell asleep next to me each night and when John came up he carried her to her own bed.

Despite how hard it has been, the one thing I have done is give my child time. It may have been limited but i heard what she had to say. I listened. I cuddled her, I did what I could to shoe her I cared. I also took the time to tell her that this is for a small moment and eventually I will feel a little better.

I really think it’s important to give time and listen to our kids. It is important to treat them with respect and to treat them with love and kindness. This week I was really pleased because my child confessed to doing some naughty things. She had felt upset and angry because I was unwell and took my inhaler and hid it so I could not find it. She also hid some things belonging to my husband so he could not find them. This was her way “as a child” of coping with what is going on.

Sylvia decided to tell me what he had done. I had no idea. I asked her why? She explained and I Listened. She asked me if I was mad. I told her I was not angry. I was simply happy she had decided to be honest and tell me the truth.

I always tell my daughter that she is the most honest child I know. I tell her that it’s great that she can tell me anything and although I may be disappointed, I will always love her and you know what? It has begun to rub off and she has become the honest child I say she is.

I wonder what she would have been like if I constantly said she was naughty or bad. I wonder if she would believe it and act that way instead?

I grew up watching a video called Johnny Lingo about a young pacific island woman who was called ugly all the time by her father and peers. This lead her to believe she was ugly. When Johnny lingo came to the village. He left a dowery of 10 cows (which was done in that culture). He paid much more for his wife than people thought she was worth. He told her she was beautiful and built her self esteem. After a few years, the young woman grew confident and began to look after herself and she became beautiful.

The principle is the same for our children. If we tell them they are beautiful they will believe it. If we tell them they have talents they will develop them. If we tell them they are worthwhile and loved they will feel it.

Having said this, I want to end the post with a quote

parenting a child
Angela x

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24 Comments

  1. September 27, 2015 / 7:40 pm

    That is so beautiful Angela and I agree with that quote. It makes perfect sense. Sorry to hear you are unwell again this week but it sounds like you are raising your daughter to become an amazing young woman even while not feeling your best. I hope you are back on your feet again soon.

    Visiting from #candidcuddles

    • September 29, 2015 / 8:13 pm

      Thankyou Janine. Hopefully my child will grow and be confident and happy. Thats all i want for her! Angela x

  2. September 27, 2015 / 7:58 pm

    I love this! Have seen a few times on my Twitter feed and have been meaning to have a read! I’m a teacher as well as a parent so I’m a big advocate of respecting children in order for them to grow up as respectful people themselves 🙂 #candidcuddles

    • September 29, 2015 / 8:12 pm

      Hi that’S GREAT. When I was a teacher i did learn a lot from simply watching the way parents treated their children and it helped me to determine how i would be as a mother before I ever was one! Angela x

  3. September 27, 2015 / 10:45 pm

    I totally agree with this. I never tell my son he is naughty, as I am worried that he will start to see himself that way, and start to be naughty. My mum, however, thinks differently and thinks that I am too soft with him (he is 14 months old). Argh!

    • September 29, 2015 / 8:09 pm

      Yes. When we call someone something enough times they will believe it! Angela x

  4. September 27, 2015 / 11:12 pm

    This is a great message, and one I whole heartedly agree with 🙂 #candidcuddles
    Debbie

    • September 29, 2015 / 8:06 pm

      Yes. It’s a good message and so so true! I feel sad when I see parents being mean to kids. Angela

  5. September 28, 2015 / 1:50 am

    I totally agree that we need to show our children respect and I love the quote!

    Hope you feel better!

    #CandidCuddles #AnythingGoes

    • September 29, 2015 / 8:05 pm

      Yes…It’s an important message and something that I try to always remember as a mother.

  6. September 28, 2015 / 2:04 am

    Back again 🙂
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes
    Debbie

    • September 29, 2015 / 7:59 pm

      Your welcome. I really like your linky! Angela x

  7. Michelle
    September 28, 2015 / 2:14 am

    Sometimes that’s all I have time for. When I’ve had a busy week, I love cuddling with my kids and talking or tickling them and watching movies together. It’s our bonding time. Sometimes, its all they need to know you love them and are there for them. Great post! Thanks for sharing! Visiting from #anythinggoes

    • September 29, 2015 / 7:59 pm

      Oh I love cuddling my daughter too! Bonding is so important and it doesn’t matter how unwell I am..we still spend time together..we just adapt to the situation, even if it means her coming to the bed and just chilling together. Angela x

  8. September 28, 2015 / 8:52 am

    Ahhh what a great quote… love it.
    Sorry to hear you have been so unwell this week and here’s to feeling much better again soon.
    Hugs. Linking up with #CandidCuddles
    Sammy xxx

    • September 29, 2015 / 7:53 pm

      Thankyou Sammy. It’s going to take some time to get well…we’ll just see how things go. Angela x

    • September 29, 2015 / 7:52 pm

      We all learn as we parent and this is one thing I’ve learnt that I truly believe! Angela x

  9. Julie S
    September 28, 2015 / 10:43 pm

    I like the quote at the end. You’re right, we encourage the child to develop the potential they already have 🙂

    • September 29, 2015 / 7:45 pm

      thanks Julie. I do like this quote and it’s so so true! Thanks for popping by Angela x

  10. September 29, 2015 / 1:46 pm

    Lovely post. I am sorry to hear you have had a bad week and really hope you feel better soon. I agree it is so important listening to our children no matter what. Kirsten

    • September 29, 2015 / 6:36 pm

      Thanks Kirsten. Listening to kids is so so important and makes a huge difference. my daughter came to me yesterday about a problem. It was something i had no idea about and was easily solved however it was a big thing to her and if I dismissed her and didn’t listen I would have never known. Angela x

  11. October 1, 2015 / 3:40 pm

    That is really lovely Angela. Sylvia is a great girl for telling you the truth like that & it’s testament to your parenting. I totally agree that telling a child they are good & also telling them that they can tell you anything, is so important. Thanks so much for linking up with #candidcuddles x

    • October 1, 2015 / 6:34 pm

      Thanks Becky. I was really pleased that she feels she can tell me the truth about things. It happened again today. She told me the truth and I was really pleased with her. I guess she is like me, I couldn’t bear to lie I’d feel so guilty and have to confess lol. Angela

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