I am Brit Mum Here Me Roar

I am Brit Mum here me roar

Born in Yorkshire, Yes I was.

To a coal mining father and Kiwi mother.

I was raised with loved and kindness.

A family poor in money but rich in love.

Then life changed. I was abused.

Too scared to share or speak out.

Betrayed by a school teacher.

Someone in authority.

I focussed my mind on my education.

britmum

My family migrated to New Zealand.

I grew older and was abused again.

This time by a work colleague.

No wonder I ended up confused.

Confused about power and control.

About love and self worth.

Good and Bad.

Being told I was bad. Feeling unclean, dirty, rubbish.

Feeling used and abused.

I soon found myself married to an abusive man.

My confidence dashed, my spirit smashed.

My happiness beaten out of me physically and verbally.

I had an escape. Education, English, Writing.

Studying every day, from morning till night.

Graduating University with high grades.

I finally grew the courage to leave my abuser.

Divorced at twenty two.

I soon fell in love once more.

A kind man. He treated me like a princess.

I could not believe my luck.

After all I was a loser, second hand goods, a bulldog.

That’s what the first husband called me.

This whirlwind romance turned into a second marriage.

But then the abuse began once more.

Isolated and in fear.

I returned to what I knew best.

Education. Studying harder. I gained some perfect scores.

Graduating a qualified Teacher.

Working full time.

But then I became a Mother.

Arguments over work and raising my child.

A controlling mother in law, an abusive husband.

I grew courage and left.

A single Mother at twenty seven.

But I had a purpose.

A child to raise, to love to educate.

We returned to the UK.

Found a home, built a new life.

But my world came crashing down.

Childless at 28.

Falsely accused by family services of being in a mental hospital.

Told I did not have an education.

That I only fed my child cheese.

Accused of being unfit to parent.

Based on lies and the imaginative stories of one social worker.

My child was gone.

I was a mother, fighting for the truth. Fighting every day.

Writing, using my education and knowledge.

Fighting, an unfamiliar court system and Family Services.

I had never been in a psychiatric unit.

I knew how to raise and teach young children.

Yet the stories were so damming and believable.

Not to me but to those in authority.

I fought hard, morning, evening and night.

Writing, arguing, correspondence.

Attending Court.

A Mother fighting a grave injustice.

I never stopped.

9 months later the truth was known.

My child was ordered home.

Given money to go to Butlins.

What kind of apology was that?

9 months was stolen!

9 months not knowing.

Adoption was on the cards.

I cried every day.

Christmas was hard.

Mothers Day was harder.

Not being able to celebrate my child’s birthday.

Being treated like a criminal.

Being accused of unspeakable things.

Laying in my child’s bed crying and praying to have her home.

Desperately trying to reveal the truth.

9 months apart when Family Services learned of the mistakes they had made.

I got my child back.

We moved on with our lives.

I had counselling and grew stronger.

Met the man of my dreams. Non absuive, kind, loving. A brilliant husband and step father.

Eventually married a third time but this was different.

I was happy. Free to fly, to reach my dreams.

Instead I collapsed.

Diagnosed with Adrenal Insufficiency Bed and wheelchair bound.

I had my child back but was not well.

The stress had contributed to my Adrenal failure.

I still had a fight to win.

A complaint. A government Investigation into “What went wrong”.

Why a social worker had lied and exaggerated.

Why I had been accused of terrible things, of being in a mental hospital.

I fought for two more years and the truth came out.

Typing from the bed, I fought at all stages.

My arguments hundreds of pages.

More work than a Thesis.

More work than any University degree.

As if I was fighting a huge court case all by myself.

And then it happened.

I won!

Family Services admitted a grave injustice.

They said sorry, verbally and in writing.

90 Complaints upheld and proven.

A huge apology.

But no acknowledgement of the effect on my health.

I had my golden ticket.

A letter of apology to my 5 year old child.

How does that help the scars, the pain, the emotional effects?

How does that help pay medical costs?

How does that help with my child’s separation anxiety?

Something she never had before she was wrongly taken away?

and so I am here.

A Mother once more, but a sick Mother. Fighting once more. This time for better medical treatment.

No more abuse, no more teaching, no more courts, just hospitals and waiting times and appointments.

So I blog.

Daysinbed

But I am more than someone in bed. I am a blogger, a brilliant blogger, an Award Winning Blogger. I write about lifestyle, family fun, about being mum!

And People read!

I win the Mumpreneur Voice Award.

Me a Mother! A Fighter. A Mumpreneur, A professional blogger, A Britmum.Β 

I win.

It feels great. I feel truly blessed.

I have my blog, a wonderful husband and a beautiful child. She is mine and she is mine for good.

The scars are still there.

But I have overcome.

All but my poor health.

And so the fight continues, to stand for what I believe. To try and get well. To get the best medical treatment and have the chance to be well, to raise my child the way I planned before our worlds were torn apart.

I want this chance. This opportunity. To swing in the park, to swim in the sea, to cook for my child and have energy.

It is possible. It is a matter of money.

So I now fight…. fight to get well, to get money to get well and to be the Mother I want to be.

The Brit Mum I am.

I’ll share, I’ll inspire and I’ll blog my hardest as this is the one thing which will help me reach my goal of managed health.

I may have been let down by government and services, but I wont let myself down.

I will take a stand.

Stand as a blogger.

As a Brit Mum

Stand as a Survivor of Abuse.

Stand as a Mother

I will stand and I will Roar

 

Cuddle Fairy

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64 Comments

  1. April 27, 2016 / 10:32 am

    Wow! Fantastic post!
    I didn’t realise you had been through so much in your life.
    You are amazing! Such a strong woman! You do right to roar loud! xxx

    • April 27, 2016 / 12:22 pm

      Thanks Kim. it’s been a long journey but the new and best chapter of my life is beginning now!

    • April 27, 2016 / 2:22 pm

      Thanks Sarah. It has been a long journey to this point and I feel a desire to share and hopefully inspire and help others. I can get through anything!

  2. April 27, 2016 / 2:28 pm

    Oh my goodness what a captivating read! I am so truly sorry that all of this happened to you, and the SS terrifies me. The power they have to tear families apart is unbelievable. So glad it all came together in the end and congratulations on your win!!

    • April 27, 2016 / 3:05 pm

      Thanks Elizabeth. They can do scary things and it only takes one dodgy worker to ruin a whole family. On the other side of the coin there are some good people out there protecting kids but yes… they have power. I’m glad I won and I’ll keep on winning. Angela x

  3. April 27, 2016 / 3:13 pm

    Such a powerful piece, thank you so much for sharing!

    • April 27, 2016 / 3:40 pm

      Your most welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it. πŸ™‚

  4. April 27, 2016 / 3:45 pm

    Wow!! You have been through so much and come through it stronger! Very brave of you to share!

    • April 27, 2016 / 4:14 pm

      Thanks. I felt I needed to get it out.. a very therapeutic process.

  5. April 27, 2016 / 4:54 pm

    What a journey you’ve had through your life, and coming out stronger and stronger each time! x

    • April 27, 2016 / 6:08 pm

      For sure. I hope my strength can give someone else strength is a similar position.

  6. April 27, 2016 / 5:51 pm

    Wow that is some journey and I am high fiving you from the other side of this screen x

    • April 27, 2016 / 6:05 pm

      Thanks Rachel πŸ™‚ Hi five all the way!

  7. April 27, 2016 / 6:23 pm

    Wow Angela what a moving story…you are one brave and strong roaring BRIT MUM πŸ™‚

    • April 27, 2016 / 6:47 pm

      Thanks πŸ™‚ Lovely to hear all these lovely comments about this post!

  8. Helen
    April 27, 2016 / 8:37 pm

    What a turbulent journey you’ve been through, I’m so truly sorry these things have happened to you but pleased to hear you’re in a much better place now x

    • April 27, 2016 / 10:56 pm

      Thanks. It was tough especially at each stage and it is still tough trying to get more well but I’m happy and have a wonderful family so i’m truly blessed.

  9. April 27, 2016 / 8:47 pm

    The power of words is incredible, that one poem made me feel a variety of emotions, sadness, hope and then pride because despite everything you have been through you are still fighting. And do you know what you are brilliant and I am so thankful you have the perfect family now xx

    • April 27, 2016 / 10:58 pm

      Thanks Ana. Sometimes I just want to share my journey. Maybe one day I could write a book. So many tell me my story would make a great film! Maybe! lol it’s overcoming the challenges in our lives that make us stronger and better people and shape us into diamonds from rough coal!

  10. April 27, 2016 / 10:21 pm

    How amazing to read your story like this, I am just so glad you have your daughter back and I really hope you can get any medical treatment you need to get well. I know first hand what the Social Services can do to rip families apart, especially with lies. My mum still suffers to this day from the trauma they caused her. Sending you much love for how amazing you are xx

    • April 27, 2016 / 10:59 pm

      Thanks Charli. I hope to get better treatment too! Separation and unfair unjust treatment can cause a lot of heartache. I imagine your mum does suffer. I know how it feels! I’m grateful for your comments.

  11. April 27, 2016 / 10:57 pm

    It’s amazing that you were able to come out of all of this stronger. I’m so glad that you can have fun with your family and write about it now!

    • April 27, 2016 / 11:09 pm

      Thanks. It is great to have overcome all this and be happy despite the health issues we are facing as a family. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

  12. April 27, 2016 / 11:08 pm

    Oh wow what a journey you have had – I hope your health does get better, you are a true fighter and deserve it. x

    • April 27, 2016 / 11:10 pm

      Thanks Sarah πŸ™‚ I will keep at it and hopefully I can use my experiences for good to help and inspire or encourage others.

  13. April 27, 2016 / 11:55 pm

    You sound like such a strong woman – I wish you all the best for a much happier future.

    • April 28, 2016 / 12:25 am

      Thanks… I’m getting there! πŸ™‚ Stronger each month!

  14. April 28, 2016 / 12:54 am

    Right on! This was a powerful post that kept me hanging on the edge of my seat. I am saddened for what happened to you and your family, but so joyful in the way you rose above and have fought every step of the way. Thank you for sharing! #BrilliantBlogPosts

    • April 28, 2016 / 10:39 am

      Thanks. I appreiciate your kind words.

  15. April 28, 2016 / 7:49 am

    What a journey! You’re amazing – your strength knows no bounds xx #brilliantblogposts

    • April 28, 2016 / 10:39 am

      πŸ™‚ Thankyou Fi πŸ™‚

  16. April 28, 2016 / 11:17 am

    aw i love this its so great to hear you overcoming it hun x

    • April 28, 2016 / 12:17 pm

      thanks πŸ™‚

  17. Hannah
    April 28, 2016 / 1:10 pm

    This was such a moving read, so glad to hear your stronger & overcoming everything! x

    • April 28, 2016 / 9:22 pm

      Thanks Hannah. It just all came out the other day. Sometimes putting pen to paper or typing can be really therapeutic.

  18. April 28, 2016 / 3:11 pm

    Oh my. This made me cry. What a beautiful post. I am happy your story has a happy ending in the sense that you found love again and got your little girl back. Life can be so hard sometimes. Keep doing you.

    • April 28, 2016 / 9:22 pm

      Thanks, I do have a happy ending and we are all so so happy now πŸ™‚

  19. April 28, 2016 / 3:47 pm

    Oh wow. You’ve been through a lot ! So sorry to hear. You’ve achieved something so well done you lovely. Your blog is lovely and be proud! which i am sure you are anyway πŸ™‚ Well done you x

    • April 28, 2016 / 9:21 pm

      I think going through hard times makes us appreciate the better! πŸ™‚ i was so excited to win an award!

  20. shannon ritchie
    April 28, 2016 / 4:14 pm

    This was so powerful! You are an amazing lady!

    • April 28, 2016 / 9:10 pm

      thanks shannon πŸ™‚ Sometimes I don’t realise it!

  21. Honest Mum
    April 28, 2016 / 10:19 pm

    You are an incredible woman, a warrior, so proud of you but so sad of what you’ve been through. Wishing you well soon, thank you for sharing this post, so, so moving. Much love x

    • April 28, 2016 / 10:23 pm

      Thanks Vicki. It means a lot to hear that from you. I appreciate your comments and yes I am a warrior πŸ™‚ Some experiences are sad and heartbreaking but they can use all our experiences for good to help others and learn and grow so I will try to use mine to inspire and grow from strength to strength. πŸ™‚ Ang x

  22. jenna farmer
    April 28, 2016 / 10:53 pm

    ah this is lovely- life is a rollercoaster but you should be so proud of yourself.

    • April 28, 2016 / 11:36 pm

      Thanks πŸ™‚ It sure is a roller coaster and I’m hoping i’m at the end of the huge bumps and twists and turns! Well the nasty ones of course!

  23. April 29, 2016 / 4:54 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us, a really powerful and moving read. You’ve been through so much, but you are strong and I’m so pleased that you won the day. I wish you nothing but the best for the future and I’m sure your amazing strength will see you through. x

    • April 29, 2016 / 7:50 pm

      Your welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed this and found it inspiring. Thats all I want to be.

  24. April 29, 2016 / 5:12 pm

    This was so powerful. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through so much but you are achieving so much now, I am glad you got your daughter back and found love again x

    • April 29, 2016 / 7:53 pm

      Thanks. I’m glad you thought so!

  25. Random Musings
    April 29, 2016 / 5:36 pm

    This has given me goose bumps! It is brilliant and so inspiring. You should write a memoir of your life book, a tribute to who you are today and everything you have stood up against
    Thanks for linking up to #BloggerClubUK πŸ™‚
    Debbie

    • April 29, 2016 / 7:41 pm

      Thanks Debs. I could write such an awesome story. It would be fascinating.

  26. April 29, 2016 / 9:31 pm

    This is written so well. What a powerful way to tell your story. It just shows that things in life do happen but we can get through them. I think it happens more often than we think to and reading things like this will hopefully make more people stand up and talk about there lifes and experieces. I was in a abusive relationship when i was 20. Luckily I got out of it after 9 months.

    • April 29, 2016 / 9:44 pm

      Thanks Cassandra. These things do happen and i really do want to write about my experiences and share, to celebrate overcoming it but also spread awareness of what I am others go through and how to overcome.

  27. April 30, 2016 / 2:16 am

    It’s hard to write a comment after reading something so heartbreaking yet so powerful. To be honest I have no words. Just a sorry. Sorry you had/have to endure this. And a thank you for being brave enough to share! #brillblogposts

    • April 30, 2016 / 11:24 am

      It’s a tough situation but I had to share and glad to get so many positive responses.

  28. April 30, 2016 / 9:56 am

    Oh Angela, I knew you had been through some of this, but not all of it. You are an amazing and strong woman. I am proud to know you as a friend. This is such a moving post, I am sorry for all that you have been through, so sorry.

    • April 30, 2016 / 11:26 am

      Thanks Laura. Sometimes I just want to shout about it all in the hopes it inspires and helps others who may have similar challenges to overcome.

  29. May 1, 2016 / 9:08 pm

    The world can be so cruel dealing you ill health in the face of getting your child back and being in the relationship you deserve. I really hope and believe that you will stand as proof that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Your blog has the power to inspire people in the same situations (survivers of abuse, injustice and health challenges). You serve every inch of your award win and recent nomination – you’ve got my vote!

    • May 1, 2016 / 10:18 pm

      Thanks so much Sarah. I’m so pleased to have been shortlisted for the BIBs and your vote will be much appreciated.

  30. May 3, 2016 / 5:09 pm

    This is fantastic Angela – really inspiring post! No wonder you are nominated for an Inspire award! I’m sorry you had so much hardship in your life. I’m delighted that things are moving in the right direction for you now health wise & that you have a loving & supportive husband in John. Thanks so much for linking up with #bloggerclubuk x

    • May 4, 2016 / 12:21 am

      Thanks becky. I’m pleased we are moving forward onwards and upwards and past what has been. I’m grateful for your support and friendship and glad you find my story inspiring. πŸ™‚

  31. May 3, 2016 / 9:46 pm

    I never knew just how much you’ve been through Angela! What a brave post to write. I hope you are very proud of yourself. Not everyone would keep fighting like you have, what a strong women you are πŸ™‚ xx

    • May 4, 2016 / 12:20 am

      Thanks so much Rachel. I appreciate your kind words.

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