I am the Mother Who Wanted a Baby



I was tagged by Laura Summers over at Laura’s Lovely Blog to write a post on “being the mother who….”

I wasn’t 100% sure what I was going to write. You see I was once falsely accused of being a ‘bad mum’ and although this was not the case, it knocked me back and even put doubts in my mind about what kind of mother I was. Now I can confidently say that I have always been a brilliant mother in whatever circumstances I have found myself.

I found the thought of this post quite scary and difficult at first but I persevered and here it is.

An honest and true reflection of who I really am as a mother.

I am the Mother who…

I am the mother who wanted a baby so badly, I had fertility treatment with my husband. (Now x husband)

I am the mother who could not produce milk and had to give up breast feeding at six weeks.

I am the mother who was sent back to work when baby was 4 months old.

I am the mother who quit work because I wanted to be with baby.

I am the mother who was physically separated from baby (by the controlling x husband as a form of abuse)

I am the mother who was spat on and slapped and abused by her husband.

I am the mother who ran away with baby and got a protection order.

I am the mother who then put my baby into childcare to help me cope.

I am the mother who left her family and friends in NewZealand to make baby safe in the UK.

I am the mother who raised baby as a single mum for five years.

I am the Mother who faced injustice and was wrongly separated from baby.

I am the mother who struggled but survived.

I am the mother who put on weight and ate her emotions.

I am the mother who then lost all the weight through healthy eating and exercise.

I am the mother who then met the man of her dreams

I am the mother who married and gave baby a loving step father.

I am the mother who collapsed after the wedding and was diagnosed with adrenal failure.

I am the mother who stayed in bed for two years due to serious illness.

I am the mother who decided enough is enough and began blogging about my life.

I am the mother who is fighting to get well so I can be my best self.

I am the mother who won the Bronze MumpreneurUK Website Award in 2015.

I am the mother who also won the 2015 MumpreneurUK Voice Award in 2015

I am the Mother who is still fighting and fundraising to get well.

I am the Mother of my child. I will always be her Mother.

I am the Mother hear me roar!


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  1. Emma's Mamma
    July 24, 2015 / 10:24 am

    What an honest and beautiful post. Well done for standing up to your ex and putting your baby before all else. I really hope you get well xxx #TheList

    • July 24, 2015 / 8:06 pm

      Thank you. It was hard to leave someone I loved at the time but when you have a child to protect, it gives you the strength to do what needs doing and we deserved better! Angela xx

  2. July 24, 2015 / 11:34 am

    Lovely post Angela πŸ™‚

    • July 24, 2015 / 8:00 pm

      thankyou so much Dan! I’m glad you liked it!

  3. Mamavsteacher
    July 24, 2015 / 2:07 pm

    You are the superstar mother! Well done sweetie! #TheList

    • July 24, 2015 / 7:57 pm

      Thanks so much! It took time to realise but I now know I’m a brilliant mum and my daughter thinks so too! Angela xx

  4. sandra
    July 24, 2015 / 7:15 pm

    really really beautiful. xxx

    • July 24, 2015 / 7:55 pm

      Thankyou Sandra!

  5. July 24, 2015 / 8:57 pm

    You are an amazing lady! beautifully written post. x

    • July 24, 2015 / 9:12 pm

      Thank you Caroline!

  6. July 24, 2015 / 9:22 pm

    Emotional post Angela! Im sorry that that is your story but glad you have found and are figuring out your happily ever after! You are strong yes and a fighter xx

    • July 24, 2015 / 9:56 pm

      Yes I am finding my happy ever after and despite the difficulties I’m so so excited! Life is good and I’m so so happy! Love you Mary! xx Angela

  7. July 25, 2015 / 2:31 pm

    Oh Angela, what an emotional post. You brave, brave lady. You have overcome so much you should be very proud of yourself. I am so pleased you found happiness and I hope you win the battle to health x

    • July 25, 2015 / 3:20 pm

      Thank you Laura. I have often been told my life story would be a best seller! ha ha! I am in a happy place and yes its been a long hard road but the experiences made me who I am and help me to have understanding for others and with understanding and experience comes knowledge that I can share here on the blog πŸ™‚ Angela xx

  8. July 26, 2015 / 6:42 am

    Wow very powerful post. You have been through such a lot but it sounds like you have done so much for your baby and have been such a strong Mum! Hope you get well and continue down a happy road xxx #bigfatlinky

    • July 26, 2015 / 12:04 pm

      Thanks so much! I did not even expect this post to turn out how it did and I wrote it so quickly but I guess as it came from the heart, it is doing really well. Thanks for visiting. Angela xx

  9. July 27, 2015 / 1:52 am

    Angela this is so powerful! It told the journey of your mother/daughter relationship so well. No one deserves to be treated that way and I am so happy for you that you got yourself and Sylvia away from that and met your true love πŸ™‚
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes

    • July 27, 2015 / 1:03 pm

      Thankyou Debbie I love the word Powerful. My daughter and I love each other so much and we are so close to one another! I’m glad we are starting a new chapter of our lives and we are happy! Always have stayed positive through the hard times and i’m sure more difficulties will come but positivity gets you through and love! Angela xx

  10. July 27, 2015 / 10:20 am

    Love this especially hear you roar! Fantastic post and i wish you all the best in your journey #bigfatlinky

    • July 27, 2015 / 12:58 pm

      Thanks Laura for your support! We are at the start of a new exciting chapter or our lives… me getting well, losing weight and going on the adrenal pump (when i’ve raised the funds), continuing to focus on our child’s development and my hubby developing his photography skills so he can help me with blogging! So so exciting! Angela xxx

  11. July 27, 2015 / 3:06 pm

    Oh wow. You are obviously the mother who has been through more than anyone should ever have to but does the best for her child despite that. I hope the worst is all behind you.


    • July 27, 2015 / 3:14 pm

      Thanks Lady Nym. We have been through a lot but the worst is behind us and this is a new chapter of life and is more than I could have ever asked for, even with illness I am so so so much happier and my daughter is happy and my hubby! This is what counts! Thanks for stopping by! Angela xx

  12. July 29, 2015 / 12:27 am

    It’s amazing the things I learn about fellow blogger through these little chain type posts. Sounds like you have had quite the motherhood Ang. Thanks for sharing about it with #momsterslink.

    • July 29, 2015 / 2:02 pm

      Yes, we do learn a lot about each other and I find it so interesting! Angela xx

  13. Michelle
    July 29, 2015 / 5:41 am

    This is awesome! You have had some struggles in your life and you are still standing. I watched my mom get beat a lot when I was a small child so it’s good you got away from him when you did. That took a lot of courage. It is so hard to leave an abusive spouse for so many reasons but you did it! You should be very proud and you are a good mom. Thanks for Sharing!

    • July 29, 2015 / 2:01 pm

      Thanks Michelle. I am still standing and I appreciate your words of support! Leaving these relationships is never easy! I’ve even written a book on it to help others in the situation and in process of getting it edited! Angela xx

      • Michelle
        July 29, 2015 / 4:09 pm

        That’s really great that you have turned your experience around into something positive like helping others by sharing your story. I, too, am doing that with my blog. Helping others understand Autism, ADHD (my kids), as well as talking about My PTSD in the hopes of spreading awareness and hopefully giving some inspiration along the way. Even if I only help one person, it’s worth it.

        • July 29, 2015 / 4:24 pm

          Brilliant! I have a lot of family members with Autism/Aspergers and a brother who is very special with deleted chromosones. Yes, I blog for a number of reasons (such as trying to provide for the family) but the goal and overall mission of the blog is to support mothers and children with parenting and health in addition to those who suffer from Adrenal Insufficiency (My Illness). It’s great that you too are spreading awareness! I have my own experience with PTSD and it is not an easy thing. Also ADHD, it’s not an easy thing for mothers to cope with and sharing ideas and experiences will help! I worked with a ADHD child when I was a teacher and it was very hard but rewarding work!

          Angela xx

          • Michelle
            July 29, 2015 / 4:28 pm

            It is very rewarding to see both of my boys be their own people, despite their struggles. My son with ADHD has such an amazing imaginiation and is so outgoing. My son with Autism is my little genius (though he isn’t little anymore). I write about them in my blog. Check it out when you get a chance. I also grew up with a brother who had ADHD so I’m very familiar with it.

          • July 29, 2015 / 4:30 pm

            I will come and visit! We have something in common! Thanks for visiting! Angela x

  14. October 9, 2015 / 10:54 am

    What an ordeal you’ve been through. I wish for happy times ahead for you and the ability to forget the past now πŸ™‚ Wishing you and your family all the best πŸ™‚

    • October 9, 2015 / 11:28 am

      It’s been a rough start but life can only getting better form here! Blogging has helped me too and it helps to have a fabulous husband!

  15. January 27, 2016 / 11:09 am

    You have been through some tough times and come out of it at the other side. I think there are a lot of women out there that can identify with you and have been through similar issues and also other women who have been through other tough times.

    • January 29, 2016 / 3:11 am

      Thanks Melissa. I hope by sharing my experiences it can help other women who are stuck in difficult situations and give them hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Angela

  16. January 27, 2016 / 11:26 am

    This post just shows what a strong person you are! You did what was right for you and your baby and that is all that matters.

    • January 29, 2016 / 3:12 am

      thank you Danny. I am a strong person and the things that I have been through just made me stronger. I’m glad that people can see that through my writing. Angela

  17. January 27, 2016 / 11:56 am

    So glad to hear that things are much better now. Everyone goes through a journey and it sounds like yours has been hard!

    • January 29, 2016 / 3:15 am

      Thanks so much Danny. Life is one big journey and it has been hard but I am glad to be where I am right now.

  18. January 27, 2016 / 11:57 am

    You have been through such a lot and you should be proud at how strong you are (even if you don’t always feel like that!) Make sure you remember that it is okay to be a bit selfish sometimes and do things for you. x

    • January 29, 2016 / 3:16 am

      I certainly have been through a lot and I agree it’s time to put me first and haven’t happier life.

  19. January 27, 2016 / 1:49 pm

    What an amazing post, and goes to show what a wonderful Mother and strong woman you are. Am so glad you are now happy x

    • January 29, 2016 / 3:17 am

      thanks so much and glad to hear your compliments and yes it’s really nice to be in a happy place now

  20. January 27, 2016 / 1:53 pm

    Lovely post, and it shows how much you’ve dealt with and how far you’ve come. x

    • January 29, 2016 / 3:18 am

      thank you. It’s important to me that people know what I’ve seen through and how Far we have come along our journey

  21. January 27, 2016 / 5:14 pm

    Such a lovely honest post. Well done lovely. x

    • January 29, 2016 / 3:20 am

      Thanks so much. I’m glad you enjoyed the post.

  22. Leanne
    January 27, 2016 / 7:40 pm

    This is lovely post. Very honest. Proud of you and I’m gad you are at a more positive part of your life now!

    • January 29, 2016 / 3:53 am

      Thank you for your lovely comments I’m yes we are definitely on a more positive part of life now.

  23. January 27, 2016 / 10:22 pm

    What an honest post. It sounds like you and your little one have been through so much but so happy you have found peace and are getting well. I loved reading this and finding strong mama’s who are inspiring πŸ™‚

    • January 29, 2016 / 4:04 am

      We have finally found a place and I getting on with life. Life things can be difficult at times that will keep plodding on And I’m pleased you feel inspired.

  24. January 27, 2016 / 11:36 pm

    You are the mother who is incredibly strong, inspirational and refreshingly honest.
    What a fabulous, powerful post.
    You have been through so much but you’re here at the other side and you’re confident and brave.
    Well done chick!

    • January 29, 2016 / 4:07 am

      Thank you so much Lucy your kind words mean a lot to me.

  25. January 27, 2016 / 11:39 pm

    OH wow, what a woman you are. Just incredible and such an insight into the person you are. x

    • January 29, 2016 / 4:08 am

      Thank you how. This means a lot. I appreciate your kind words.

  26. January 27, 2016 / 11:59 pm

    Angela you are amazing, everything you have been through and you still manage to pick up the pieces. I think that is incredible and you should be proud of yourself hun xxx

    • January 29, 2016 / 4:14 am

      Thanks ana. I’m gad you think so. I have to pick up the pieces and continue on because i’m a mum and have a child to raise πŸ™‚ Angela

  27. January 28, 2016 / 12:20 am

    Aw I love honest parenting posts such as this as it shows being a mom isn’t all plain sailing

    • January 29, 2016 / 4:15 am

      Thanks. parenting is never plain sailing but we can only do our best to put all the pieces together and move forward.

  28. January 28, 2016 / 11:14 am

    Very powerful, well done for putting baby first

    • January 29, 2016 / 3:28 am

      Thank you Zoe. I’m glad to see people saying I put my daughter first. It is true and it’s something I’ve always done.

    • January 29, 2016 / 3:32 am

      Thanks so much. I have done an amazing job and I will keep doing my best. I am a good mother and it is really good for people to recognise that.

  29. January 29, 2016 / 12:07 am

    It quite look like a funny like post to me but reading through its not so funny. You girl gone through loads and you so strong! Blogging always help! Keep it up! You great mum!

    • January 29, 2016 / 4:17 am

      Oh dear. We have isboth been through a lot me and my child so we are going strong and making a wonderful life together now.

  30. January 29, 2016 / 12:05 pm

    I didn’t realise all you’d been through Angela – you’re the mother who is pretty amazing, you know? Keep on roaring!! πŸ™‚

    • January 29, 2016 / 7:28 pm

      Thankyou Sally. It means a lot for you to say I’m amazing. Angela x

  31. January 31, 2017 / 10:51 pm

    Such a powerful, inspiring and interesting read! Go you πŸ˜€ x

    • Angela
      February 4, 2017 / 1:43 pm

      Thanks Jodie.

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