Go Forward In Life With A Smile My Experience Of Counselling

Go Forward In Life With A Smile My Experience Of Counselling

Today I’m going to share something on the blog I’ve never shared before. Last year I completed two and a half years of counselling. That’s right. I had been having private counselling or therapy, whatever you choose to call it for the past two plus years and now I’ve finished the journey.

Counselling

 

Having counselling is not something I’m ashamed of. It’s something that was needed to help me overcome and move on from some difficult situations which I have faced as a child and young woman and as an adult who has lived in an abusive marriage. I never knew just how far I would come with the right counsellor.

When I started my therapy I was a different person. Someone who had been treated badly at times and as a result I had lost my confidence. I struggled to say no to people and stand up for what I wanted. I found myself justifying my every move, constantly apologising and asking permission for the silliest of things. I’d even ask my husband John if it was okay to have a glass of milk. He would kindly remind me I don’t need to ask permission but I’d developed a habit of asking permission and that amongst many other things needed to be addressed.

I know being mistreated in the past has had a massive effect on my self-worth and confidence and it really did affect the way I reacted and acted and how I felt about myself. I’ve slowly worked on different aspects of my life and although I still have the terrible habit of continuously saying sorry, (something I’m not sure I will ever overcome completely) I have grown so much and am in such a better place emotionally.

Having counselling does not make you any less of a person. It does not make you emotionally unstable or mentally ill. Sometimes we just need to talk through the experiences which effect one’s life and the chance to get therapy was just what I needed to move forward in life.

Back in 2013 I had no idea how long I would need counselling. I had no idea if it would work, or if it could help me to overcome my past and get stronger but it has and I’m really grateful for the opportunity and for my husband for the financial sacrifice he allowed us to make for the treatment I needed.

smile

Having counselling not only allowed me to grow in confidence and discuss some terrible experiences. It also helped me to learn to live with my current issues, my current health problems which will always be here and to learn to go forward with a smile and purpose no matter what.

I don’t plan to write anything else on the topic of counselling as a blogger. It’s something which is very personal to me but I can say it has really helped me and I’m really pleased with my progress. I have goals, I am a Mother and a wife, a writer and blogger and I feel happy that I have a sense of purpose and a plan for me.

The nasty moments in life, I have been through will always exist, they are a part of me, but they are also what makes me a stronger person, a better person and a more understanding person. I’m grateful to my counsellor for the support she has been to me over the past two and a half years but am excited to move on now and take what I have learnt with me into the unknown.

Angela x

Counselling

 

“Outside

 

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46 Comments

  1. January 9, 2017 / 9:14 am

    I agree – counselling is not something to be ashamed of by a very brave move to take responsibility for your life hon xx

    • Angela
      January 10, 2017 / 5:42 am

      Thanks Talya. It’s a great thing when you get the opportunity. It’s not always affordable or easy to access.

  2. Dannii
    January 9, 2017 / 10:15 am

    I have had counselling a few times in my life and found it really helpful to speak to someone outside of the situation.

    • Angela
      January 10, 2017 / 5:37 am

      It can be useful talking to someone who is NOT part of everyday life.

  3. January 9, 2017 / 11:01 am

    I fully support counselling, and realy believe it can help, I have had it briefly in the past and it is something that has been talked about for my Daughter, but we could not find someone who could help her with her illness and understand her illness, we did try with someone from CAHMS but she did not like her and refuses to go back x

    • Angela
      January 10, 2017 / 5:36 am

      it took a long time for me to find the right counsellor and I think that really helped.

  4. January 9, 2017 / 2:14 pm

    This is such a brave and informative post to share – I’m glad counselling has been helpful for you!

    • Angela
      January 10, 2017 / 5:35 am

      Thankyou Milly

  5. January 9, 2017 / 5:12 pm

    Thank you for sharing something so very personal with us. Counselling is a wonderful tool to help us work through issues and difficulties and enable us to move on in life in a more healthy and productive manner. All the best to you x

    • Angela
      January 10, 2017 / 5:35 am

      I totally agree Sarah. It’s a tool we can use to help us in life!

  6. January 9, 2017 / 5:52 pm

    I think that’s one of the smartest things you can do to help you deal with issues. I’m glad you stuck with it all the way through. I think therapy is brilliant, and honestly, everyone could use it.

    • Angela
      January 10, 2017 / 5:34 am

      Thanks. It was not cheap but made a huge difference and has really helped.

  7. hannah
    January 9, 2017 / 6:42 pm

    Counselling can be a good thing. I had it when my mom passed away a few years back and it really helped me

    • Angela
      January 10, 2017 / 5:34 am

      I think it can be very useful for many situations.

  8. Rachel
    January 9, 2017 / 9:14 pm

    Well done for talking about this, I can imagine that counselling would be helpful. At times, I’ve thought about maybe going to talk to someone xo

    • Angela
      January 10, 2017 / 5:33 am

      I think EVERYONE could do with some therapy. It would make the world a better place.

  9. January 9, 2017 / 10:38 pm

    I freaking love this post.
    I’m so sorry for everything you’ve had to go through, no one deserves that..BUT…WELL DONE you for completing your therapy and I am so glad it has benefited you.

    No one should ever feel less of a person for having therapy, if anything it makes them stronger for being brave and saying..yes, I have a problem, I need to talk about.

    You should be very proud of yourself lovely xxx

    • Angela
      January 10, 2017 / 5:32 am

      thanks so much. It is something I didn’t tell anyone about but now i’ve completed I’ felt okay to share.

  10. January 9, 2017 / 10:56 pm

    Im glad counselling is working for you and i love that quote – so true!

    • Angela
      January 10, 2017 / 5:31 am

      Thanks Deborah! It has been a blessing and a wonderful thing.

  11. January 9, 2017 / 11:33 pm

    I used to do the same, even in my own house I would ask if I could have food or use the bathroom because I didn’t know what I could and couldn’t do, largely because of the way I had been mistreated. I think it is amazing how much you have accomplished in such a short amount of time and well done for showing that its ok to have counselling.

    • Angela
      January 10, 2017 / 5:31 am

      thanks Ana. It’s something that happens with mistreatment but yes, I have come a long way 🙂 Thanks for sharing.

  12. January 10, 2017 / 6:03 am

    Counselling is so good sometimes as we do often need that external outlet. I’m glad you feel better since having it and it really isn’t anything to ever be embarrassed about, so I’m pleased you’ve spoken out. I had terrible anxiety so I went for CBT therapy. That really helped me put my thoughts and worries into perspective.

    • Angela
      January 13, 2017 / 5:09 pm

      Agreed! I think CBT is great for anxiety and worries!

  13. January 10, 2017 / 9:16 am

    I’ve had counselling in the past and it was one of the best things I ever did x

    • Angela
      January 13, 2017 / 5:11 pm

      Me too! So very useful and has changed my life.

  14. January 10, 2017 / 9:32 am

    That’s fantastic news that you felt councilling helped you. People should not be ashamed for needing it as everyone copes with things in different ways x

    • Angela
      January 13, 2017 / 5:13 pm

      Thanks Rhian. It is a great tool for many of lifes difficulties and experiences.

  15. January 10, 2017 / 10:33 am

    I think councelling is better than any other type of treatment for depression and/or anxiety personally. Just being able to get things off your chest is like a weight off. Also talking to a stranger is easier to me than talking to my family, I don’t think anyone should ever be ashamed of having gone through councelling, it can literally save your life.

    • Angela
      January 13, 2017 / 5:13 pm

      Agreed. It is a great treatment. Shame it is not more available to those who could benefit.

  16. January 10, 2017 / 10:46 am

    I have had counselling. Unfortunately it had to end prematurely as we relocated and there wasn’t a specialist in our new area. I love that quote and I’m going to remember it! xx

    • Angela
      January 13, 2017 / 5:11 pm

      So sorry to hear that. I found when I had it with services or public it ended in a few weeks and was not sufficient… paying for long term was the only way it worked for me.

  17. January 10, 2017 / 6:23 pm

    Due to an 11 year abusive marriage Iv had counselling most of my life and then intense therapy with shrinks due to being diagnosed with Bipolar and PTSD and yes it saved my life

    • Angela
      January 13, 2017 / 5:03 pm

      Counselling in so important especially if you have experienced abuse. it can really help.

  18. January 10, 2017 / 7:13 pm

    Im glad the counselling helped you move forward, that quote is so positive too

    • Angela
      January 13, 2017 / 5:08 pm

      Thanks Melissa. 🙂 Glad you like the quote!

  19. Jemma
    January 11, 2017 / 8:41 am

    Counselling is definitely not something to be ashamed of. Getting help is such a brave step.

    • Angela
      January 13, 2017 / 5:00 pm

      I agree. It is empowering and beneficial when done right.

  20. Francesca
    January 11, 2017 / 2:06 pm

    This is so lovely!!! I’m so glad that through counselling you were able to tackle the past and allow yourself the freedom you deserve! I titally agree that counselling is an amazing tool, sometimes you just need someone who has no judgement to sit down and talk over things you usually wouldn’t tell anyone else! In your case it seems to have been a great experience!

    • Angela
      January 13, 2017 / 4:56 pm

      thanks Francesca. it can be a great tool to help people.

  21. January 11, 2017 / 5:57 pm

    I commend you lovely, I don’t have time for counsellors, I’ve never had a positive experience with one and I don’t think I’ll ever give another the chance!

    • Angela
      January 13, 2017 / 3:10 pm

      I think our experiences do shape how we feel about certain things. This was my first counsellor where it actually worked!

  22. January 11, 2017 / 7:28 pm

    I’m so happy you’ve done it and that it has helped you so much! You’re amazing and very strong lady 🙂

    • Angela
      January 13, 2017 / 3:07 pm

      Thanks Lubka. It was not easy and I’ve tried it in the past and its sucked but this time I had a good counsellor.

  23. January 11, 2017 / 9:36 pm

    Theres no shame in therapy or counselling Angela. My mummy’s sister had conunselling and it was very beneficial x

    • Angela
      January 13, 2017 / 3:05 pm

      Agreed. It can be very beneficial to many!

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