A Message to Trolls
I am a blogger. I blog almost everyday. Yes I’m sick and yes, I spend a lot of time in bed, but I have a natural habit of Journal writing and I have chosen to do this online instead of writing about life in a Journal. Before blogging I wrote daily and made photo books. Now I simply get to put it all together into cyber space and you know what, I love it!
Blogging brings me happiness, I have a support network which I wouldn’t have if I just sat in bed and watched TV all day or if I spent my days knitting- (no offence to crafters!) I’m just not very good at it!
Using social networks when your chronically ill gives you a lifeline you otherwise would not have and instead of doing nothing, I am raising awareness about my illness, working towards a solution as well as inspiring others to be the best they can, as parents, mothers and individuals.
Blogging to me is good but Is it my number one priority? No!
My daughter and husband are my number one, along with my health and my dog Yoda. I’m also religious and although I don’t go on about it a lot online, my religion and spiritual beliefs are a major priority in my life.
The one down side about sharing your life online is that you open yourself up to Judgement. I decided when I began blogging to take the honest approach. I was not going to pretend to have fantastic hair, or fancy clothes. I wouldn’t make out that I’m something I’m not. I would just be me, plain old Angela- who has adrenal failure, is a mother and someone who genuinely cares about others. That’s just who I am.
So I’m afraid on this blog, what you see is what you get. I will say how I feel, I will express my opinions and I will attempt to do good as I blog about family, parenting and life.
Now, why am I writing this? Well despite everything I write or do, my strengths and my weaknesses, people are going to make assumptions. People are going to look at my blog, (my profession), my job and say, hey you should not be doing this because you are ill. You should be looking after your child and focusing on your family! You don’t have your priorities right! -but this is simply an assumption.
Some people are going to hate me and send troll like messages to put me down and try and make me feel bad about myself, I’m just going to ignore this and keep doing what i’m doing.
A friend who is a professional photographer (who lives in Canada) once told me, that getting trolls is an indication that you’ve made it and that your being successful! Of course, I have so much more work to do, to make my blog as successful as I dream but I have done well thus far and I am really pleased with all my hard work and efforts. I’m still a newbie with so much to learn.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed my following increasing. I’ve started to get some amazing opportunities and felt really excited about the months ahead. I’m planning and organising and creating a folder with calendars and charts and lists. (I like to write things down physically and the folder works well for me).
So yesterday I was on a real hight, feeling great about everything, when I received an email telling me that I appear to not understand my priorities and so forth. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and are free to say what they want, however it does not mean I have to agree and when it comes to this email, I do not agree.
I know my priorities. I write my posts when I can..but when I’m too sick and nauseous, I sleep or rest. I work in the day when I’m able and once my daughter comes home from school, it’s our time! We have dinner, do activities, homework and read. We have a fabulous routine which works and my child is so so happy. How do I know this? Because she sings and she always sings when she is happy. She also tells me”your the best mum ever”, “I’m so happy today”, “I love my family”, “we are so happy”. These are the comments I hear most days.
Don’t get me wrong, my child has her moments when she gets tired or disobedient and plays up, but for now, now that we have a solid routine and “balance” in our lives, she, my husband, yoda and I are all really happy.
When I have time with my daughter, I do have my phone with me, so I can catch the “memories and fun moments on camera”. Yes it can be distracting at times but I make sure it does not take over and I get better at this each day. Blogging has forced me to have a better schedule, to get up at a set time, have better routines in the home and for all purposes, blogging focuses me on family because that’s what I write about- my family!
Receiving items to review in the mail enhances family life. We have fun testing out products , be it a game, a book or food! Being paid to attend events or invited to take part in something (we otherwise could not afford) in return for a written post, gives my family opportunities we simply would not have if I laid in bed feeling sorry for myself and did nothing.
I can’t go long distances without a wheelchair and I reserve my physical energy to do special things with my family whenever I can. The fact I am recording these activities makes it even more special as we can look back at the fun adventures we go on together.
I know what is important in my life and in my opinion, I am prioritising and balancing life the best I can in the circumstances I find myself in. I am in my thirties. I am an adult and although I am open to suggestions, friendly critique and opinions, I will at the end of the day do what me and my husband feel is best for our family.
If people want to tell me how to live my life, they are more than welcome to do so. I will even listen and consider what is being said, however I will not and can not be expected to do as others say just because they think I should! This is my life and blogging is the path I have chosen.
Given my health condition, there really isn’t much else I could do “professionally” that is so flexible that would allow me to rest whenever I need to, to take a day off from linking up to other blogs, replying to PR or writing a post. It just so happens that blogging allows me to do this! Yeah for blogging!
So for now and in future when I get a email or message telling me what to do or telling me I’m a rubbish blogger or a loser or anything else a troll wishes to say, I’m just going do what Taylor Swift says and “Shake it off”
Angela Milnes xx
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