A Message to Trolls

A Message to Trolls

trolls

I am a blogger. I blog almost everyday. Yes I’m sick and yes, I spend a lot of time in bed, but I have a natural habit of Journal writing and I have chosen to do this online instead of writing about life in a Journal. Before blogging I wrote daily and made photo books. Now I simply get to put it all together into cyber space and you know what, I love it!

Blogging brings me happiness, I have a support network which I wouldn’t have if I just sat in bed and watched TV all day or if I spent my days knitting- (no offence to crafters!) I’m just not very good at it!

Using social networks when your chronically ill gives you a lifeline you otherwise would not have and instead of doing nothing, I am raising awareness about my illness, working towards a solution as well as inspiring others to be the best they can, as parents, mothers and individuals.

Blogging to me is good but Is it my number one priority? No!

My daughter and husband are my number one, along with my health and my dog Yoda. I’m also religious and although I don’t go on about it a lot online, my religion and spiritual beliefs are a major priority in my life.

The one down side about sharing your life online is that you open yourself up to Judgement. I decided when I began blogging to take the honest approach. I was not going to pretend to have fantastic hair, or fancy clothes. I wouldn’t make out that I’m something I’m not. I would just be me, plain old Angela- who has adrenal failure, is a mother and someone who genuinely cares about others. That’s just who I am.

So I’m afraid on this blog, what you see is what you get. I will say how I feel, I will express my opinions and I will attempt to do good as I blog about family, parenting and life.

Now, why am I writing this? Well despite everything I write or do, my strengths and my weaknesses, people are going to make assumptions. People are going to look at my blog, (my profession), my job and say, hey you should not be doing this because you are ill. You should be looking after your child and focusing on your family! You don’t have your priorities right! -but this is simply an assumption.

Some people are going to hate me and send troll like messages to put me down and try and make me feel bad about myself, I’m just going to ignore this and keep doing what i’m doing.

A friend who is a professional photographer (who lives in Canada) once told me, that getting trolls is an indication that you’ve made it and that your being successful! Of course, I have so much more work to do, to make my blog as successful as I dream but I have done well thus far and I am really pleased with all my hard work and efforts. I’m still a newbie with so much to learn.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed my following increasing. I’ve started to get some amazing opportunities and felt really excited about the months ahead. I’m planning and organising and creating a folder with calendars and charts and lists. (I like to write things down physically and the folder works well for me).

So yesterday I was on a real hight, feeling great about everything, when I received an email telling me that I appear to not understand my priorities and so forth. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and are free to say what they want, however it does not mean I have to agree and when it comes to this email, I do not agree.

I know my priorities. I write my posts when I can..but when I’m too sick and nauseous, I sleep or rest. I work in the day when I’m able and once my daughter comes home from school, it’s our time! We have dinner, do activities, homework and read. We have a fabulous routine which works and my child is so so happy. How do I know this? Because she sings and she always sings when she is happy. She also tells me”your the best mum ever”, “I’m so happy today”, “I love my family”, “we are so happy”. These are the comments I hear most days.

Don’t get me wrong, my child has her moments when she gets tired or disobedient and plays up, but for now, now that we have a solid routine and “balance” in our lives, she, my husband, yoda and I are all really happy.

When I have time with my daughter, I do have my phone with me, so I can catch the “memories and fun moments on camera”. Yes it can be distracting at times but I make sure it does not take over and I get better at this each day. Blogging has forced me to have a better schedule, to get up at a set time, have better routines in the home and for all purposes, blogging focuses me on family because that’s what I write about- my family!

Receiving items to review in the mail enhances family life. We have fun testing out products , be it a game, a book or food! Being paid to attend events or invited to take part in something (we otherwise could not afford) in return for a written post, gives my family opportunities we simply would not have if I laid in bed feeling sorry for myself and did nothing.

I can’t go long distances without a wheelchair and I reserve my physical energy to do special things with my family whenever I can. The fact I am recording these activities makes it even more special as we can look back at the fun adventures we go on together.

I know what is important in my life and in my opinion, I am prioritising and balancing life the best I can in the circumstances I find myself in. I am in my thirties. I am an adult and although I am open to suggestions, friendly critique and opinions, I will at the end of the day do what me and my husband feel is best for our family.

If people want to tell me how to live my life, they are more than welcome to do so. I will even listen and consider what is being said, however I will not and can not be expected to do as others say just because they think I should! This is my life and blogging is the path I have chosen.

Given my health condition, there really isn’t much else I could do “professionally” that is so flexible that would allow me to rest whenever I need to, to take a day off from linking up to other blogs, replying to PR or writing a post. It just so happens that blogging allows me to do this! Yeah for blogging!

So for now and in future when I get a email or message telling me what to do or telling me I’m a rubbish blogger or a loser or anything else a troll wishes to say, I’m just going do what Taylor Swift says and “Shake it off”

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Angela Milnes xx

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22 Comments

  1. July 22, 2015 / 4:12 am

    I agree with your friend – you know you’ve made it when you have a troll or two 🙂 I wonder how many people would question your priorities if your job was working in say, an office or a shop? As for taking pics affecting your day out – how many parents don’t take pictures of their children enjoying themselves? Seems to me you’ve attracted some jealous people – that’s got to be a sign of success!
    Debbie
    http://www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com

    • July 22, 2015 / 2:01 pm

      lol Debbie. I think it can be hard for some people especially those who measure themselves against the success or happiness of others. Angela x

  2. July 22, 2015 / 7:03 am

    I think with success comes trolls. I have been lucky so far, but I know it will come. You are right to shake it off. Maybe this person was jealous, maybe they were doing it for childish kicks. Don’t worry about it Angela you’re doing fab x

    • July 22, 2015 / 1:59 pm

      Thans Laura. your absolutely right and I now i’ve written my feelings down I can forget about it and move on! It was a good exercise though! Angx

  3. Charlotte
    July 22, 2015 / 7:44 am

    Well said! I’m very new to the blogging world and find reading peoples stories inspirational whether I agree with them or not. Who are we to judge each other? My motto is to live, love and accept. It means I dare to do more, feel more and learn more… Shame more dont do the same. I for one enjoy your blog

    • July 22, 2015 / 2:03 pm

      Thankyou Charlotte! I love what you have written, I decided to live my dreams despite the illness. I wont let AI control every aspect of my life. Blogging is such fun and I really enjoy it very much! Thanks for visiting and the lovely compliment. Angela x

  4. Rebecca Ellis
    July 23, 2015 / 12:15 am

    I’m relatively new to blogging myself, so it’s great to see the benefits it can have 🙂 However… I am a little nervous about trolls, especially since I’m someone who takes what’s being said seriously/or rather to heart (ridiculous, I know) x

    http://www.sheintheknow.co.uk

    • July 23, 2015 / 5:25 pm

      There is good and bad to every profession/job/hobby… and if it’s in the public eye, thats the cost of making the blog public but most of all the experience is good. Thanks for commenting. Angela xx

  5. July 23, 2015 / 5:32 pm

    Well said Angela. Shake it off. Your blog is fabulous. I enjoy reading your posts and wish I had the time to read them all! Trolls are definitely a sign of success. They Troll because they are jealous. Never feel the need to justify yourself or your actions. You know your doing a great job and keep that belief in yourself strong! Xx

    • July 23, 2015 / 6:13 pm

      Thanks Lavinia for the wonderful support! I’m so glad you enjoy my posts! Angela xx

  6. July 23, 2015 / 7:46 pm

    So well said Angela, and you really don’t have to justify yourself to anyone. Blogging is something that people who don’t do it just don’t get, but they also don’t get asked to attend VIP events and review fab things so I think we win everytime #brilliantblogposts

    • July 24, 2015 / 8:25 pm

      Thanks Zena! I am quickly growing a thick skin and I really don’t care what others think..just had to say something this time and let it out and then shake it off! lol Angela x

  7. July 23, 2015 / 8:09 pm

    I can’t belive that someone would take time out to message you that! Oh I know what’s happening. They see you and the challenges you have and think, my goodness she’s making such good use of her talent and the time, what am I doing with me life? Then they think, wow what should I do with this uncomfortable feeling? I could channel it into bettering myself but that’s hard work so I’ll just project it onto her, maybe she’ll hide herself away and I can feel better about myself.

    • July 24, 2015 / 8:27 pm

      Thanks Charlene. People do waste their time worrying when they need to focus on their own lives and there own issues! I appreciate your comments. Angela xx

  8. July 23, 2015 / 10:33 pm

    Shake it off!! What is wrong with people? It sounds like the person who sent you that email might have their priorities out of line. Don’t they have something better to do with their time than to hate! Geez – keep doing what you are doing!! Awesome job!

    • July 24, 2015 / 8:10 pm

      Some people have nothing better to do! I just let it out in this post and now I’m over it! Angela x

  9. July 29, 2015 / 12:57 am

    Just remember…opinions are just that…opinions. Everyone is allowed to have one and you just have to learn that not everyone is going to like you or your blog. It’s good to focus on the positive people who do and forget the rest. Even famous people get hate mail. Thanks for sharing with #momsterslink.

    • July 29, 2015 / 2:04 pm

      Your totally right, people are entitled to their opinions and with popularity comes jealousy and green eyes, so I do need to just stand up and ignore which I’m quickly getting better At! It reminds me of the people who go on x factor and then get rubbish written about them in the papers. if you dont want scrutiny and trolls, dont blog! Angela xx

  10. January 16, 2016 / 8:39 pm

    Hi Angela,

    Great attitude. I do find these people incredibly odd – they must have very empty lives to find the time to write long lectures!

    I had a similar situation myself last year. I wrote about a problem my husband and I had overcome when our family dynamic changed; a new baby can do that, haha! It was a guest post and I didn’t consider the fact that it was a religious blog at all, because I didn’t think it was relevant. The lady who runs the blog was happy to feature my post and that was good enough for me.

    Unfortunately I offended a few people by talking about how I had asked my husband to help me a bit more. The point of the post was that it became apparent he was terrified of breaking his tiny (early) daughter. But the trolls focused only on the fact I was not submitting completely to my husband. (Never mind that I NEVER ask him to get up to our daughter in the night!)

    Apart from those few, I had some fab feedback.

    My point is only that we will never please everyone. By putting ourselves out there, we’re inviting both praise and criticism. The irony for me is that I don’t have a thick skin – but at least we can write about/to the trolls and publicly let them know what we’d like to say to them! So good for you for standing up for yourself. (I did the same on my blog in response to the comments I received.)

    I think what you’re doing is great. X

    • January 16, 2016 / 8:59 pm

      I totally agree we wont please everyone and we do need to ignore the rubbish we get. Standing up against this is something we need to do from time to time.

  11. May 17, 2016 / 9:47 am

    I completely agree. Blogging is ultimately about you and what you want from it. Trolls aren’t worth paying attention to.
    I think you get it no matter what job you do, just in the blogging world it’s written down for all to see!

    xx
    Claire
    http://www.theclairediary.co.uk

    • May 17, 2016 / 10:18 am

      Thats true. It happens everywhere.

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